Please tell me a joke! I want to laugh! !

/So many jokes, just laugh slowly ~ ~ ~ Well, I hope you are satisfied with my answer ... Follow-up: Not satisfied! Answer: Why? There are so many jokes ~ ~ ~ ~ Follow-up: You didn't tell them again! Answer: well ... I will make a fool of myself ... you have grown up, and there are some things you should know. The sky is used to blow; The land is used to grow grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stewing vermicelli ... Follow-up: Sorry, it's not funny! Answer: Tutu said, "My mother calls me Tutu, which is nice!" "The pig said," My mother calls me a pig, which is very nice! ""The dog said, "My mother called me a puppy, which is nice!" "The chicken said," you talk, I walked first! "The rabbit said," I'm a son of a bitch! " "The pig said," I'm a son of a bitch! "The chicken said," I am a son of a bitch! " "The dog said," you talk, I walked first! "No.0 sparring partner said," Outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice! " No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!" No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort!" No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, let's go first!" The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!" " "The dog said to me," I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice! "The fish said to me," I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice! " "The bear said," You talk, I'll go first! " "Lang Ke said," People call me a ronin, which is very nice! " The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!" The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "The swordsman said," you talk, I walked first. Jane Zhang said, "My fans say my idol is Ying." He Jie said, "My fans say my idol is Jay." "My fans say my idol is Chang." Chris Lee said, "you chat, I walked first. The senior math teacher said that I teach senior math this semester, and the college physics teacher said that I teach senior math this semester. Peking University said: I am from Peking University. Tianjin University said: I am older. Shanghai University said: I went to college. Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first! General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! General fu said to him: I am just! General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first. Minolta users say: we are beautiful women! Canon users say: we are beautiful! The user of Huaguang said: We are from China! Nikon users said: you chat, I'll go first. The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said: the door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said: The door of Lao Liu's house is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first! Bai Yu said: My name is White. Jade jade said, my name is jasper. Redjade said, My name is Redjade. Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first! Teachers' College students said: I am a student of Railway Institute. Teachers' College students said: I am a student of Vocational College of Iron Institute. I am a student of Technical College of Vocational College. You can talk. I'll go first! I recently fell in love with a beautiful woman in the Foreign Languages Department. I send her short messages every day, from morning till night, from lyrical to sad. Seeing that 500 free SMS messages have been sent in the M-Zone this month, I cruelly took 15 yuan to set up a 200-message dynamic package, but she is still as cruel as plum blossom and indifferent as mu Nianci. This makes me very depressed. I don't think about tea (but drink juice), I don't want to eat (but eat snacks), my face is haggard, my mood is low, my spirit is in a trance, and I feel that life is boundless. On this day, a peach blossom prawn buddy pulled me aside and said earnestly. If I had been sober, I would have made up a sentence: If you don't promise, what's the point of living? Forgive me for leaving like this. In another miserable world where it is snowing and nothing grows, I will wait for your reply ... When I was sweating, I kept a rare sobriety-call 10086 immediately to open the super listening service! It took me 500 minutes to be told that I was ready, and sure enough, the zero tone of my mobile phone rang one after another-first of all, mom: son, you can't leave mom. Your mother will be heartbroken without you. Do you have to relax just because she raised you for 20 years? Don't you want to buy a notebook? Mom promised you! Then there is the father at work: son, tell dad which little girl you like? In the past, your father scared your mother like this. Sister: Brother, ouch, it's for mom and dad ... Cousin: Your phone is always busy! I'm relieved to hear your voice now! Best friend YTR: Where are you going? Let's go, man. I'm tired of life. Playboy: Shit, what are you doing, trying to break my back? In fact, you told me ... a girl who once chased me L: Today's sunshine is so bright, I finally waited for your words, I promise! Chinese teacher in senior high school: There is a serious problem with this sentence ... Cousin: If you send me harassment information, I will sue you in menstruation, but I won't sue you if you promise me you won't die first. Basketball friend: Where is this miserable world with heavy snow and nothing grows? Grandma: Son, grandma is confused. Two years ago, when you were admitted to college, grandma promised to give you this golden retriever. Uncle: Promise what? Professor Yu: Hang on, don't say 60 points, I promise you 80 points! Friend MP: Make me die. No man. Didn't I just lend you 500 yuan? I promise to give it to you on Saturday, okay? Monitor: Let's skip class. Didn't I promise not to report to the counselor? You said you would invite me to dinner, but you haven't invited me yet! Roommate Xiao Sichuan: I see, you didn't bring any toilet paper to 1 again, did you? Uncle: Son, why is your heart so fragile? It's not that I won't let you use this car. I'm afraid you are not skilled. Tell you what, I'll drive you on Sunday. Freshman's cousin: Brother, I know you like me since childhood, but we have all studied biology, which is not allowed by law. Head teacher in high school: I've been giving you these novels by Qiong Yao. I told you, I gave it to you after you were admitted to a key university. You are a good student, you should know that the teacher is doing it for you, right? JY: Wow, I'm still so important in your heart! I will think about it. Wait for me. Uncle Meng: Don't scare uncle, uncle has a heart attack! Colleague of Student Union A: Where are you now? Have a sense of the overall situation. I promise to vote for you, but I can't vote for the rest, can I? Classmate Ding Ding: Hello? Hey! Still alive, right? I recommend Building 9, 28th floor. Fast and cool! Netizen Shui Mu Jelly: If meeting someone can save a life, I promise to meet you now, but I am really ugly. A MM I met on the bus: I said I would take another bus with you, but I have never met you. You can't blame me. Internet cafe owner: Do you owe me the internet fee? How much do you owe? If it is less, forget it. A female classmate: I haven't talked to you much yet. It was sudden. Let me think about it, ok? Neighbor Wang: I studied with your aunt for a long time, and I couldn't understand what you said, but you seemed very dangerous, so I called 1 10. A male netizen: Shit, no way, you broke your back. I'm sorry, I really can't promise you. Associate Professor of Philosophy Department: Let me tell you about the meaning of life. Life is the most precious thing for people ... Department Counselor: I now order you to stay stable and go to a safe place! Bookstore owner who works for him in the summer vacation: Come here and pay you now. ............ the next day, I actually, actually answered a full 600 phone calls, and my mobile phone gradually calmed down. I'm thirsty and my body is broken. Just then, the phone rang again. I trembled and pressed the green button, and a sweet voice came over:-You, you, why do you cheat people in such a rogue way? I've been calling your cell phone all day, you know? ! Oh, my God! Online! Yeah! And this method is really worthwhile-the Super Listening Package only costs 15 yuan! Hoo hoo ~