Your greatest pain is being dishonest with yourself.

When I was a child, I didn't like my parents doing two things. First of all, I don't like my father smoking. Second, I don't like my mother playing cards. Although from the moment I raised my objection, they failed to correct their mistakes. They also vowed in front of me and said with great confidence:

"Dad will stop smoking after smoking this cigarette", "Mom will stop playing after playing this card."

But when I woke up the next day, I could still smell the smoke in the living room and hear the sound of mahjong in the living room when I got home. I'll talk to them again, and they'll say, "Why do children care so much?" In order to prevaricate and perfunctory me, I have since appreciated the absurdity and hypocrisy in adults' speech.

I especially liked reading books in high school. I remember that I received a big red envelope at home during the Spring Festival one year, and I bought all the books the next day. Later, my dad found out. Besides giving me a good lesson, he also solemnly told me that it's not that you won't be allowed to read books. When you get into college, you can read if you want, and I will never interfere.

One day after I was admitted to the university, I was reading at home. My father asked me why I didn't read books related to college majors, but I wanted to read some unimportant idle books. I also said bitterly that I spent so much money to send you to college, and all you do is read idle books. I wonder, how can people be so forgetful?

Actually, it is more dishonest than forgetfulness.

If you don't be honest with yourself, you can't be honest with others, and in the end you will only let the other person fall into endless pain.

There is a joke among overseas Chinese children about their parents, saying that they send you to the Olympics class every weekend, but if you tell them that you want to be a mathematician in the future, they will immediately persuade you to choose another popular major with grief. They forced you to practice hard when you were young, but when you grow up, if you really want to make music, they will be scared to death.

The original reason is that we were lost in dishonesty with ourselves from the beginning.

Perhaps those parents who devote themselves to higher education may not be able to explain clearly why they want their children to learn this and that. They just want to attract others' envious eyes in the impetuous comparison atmosphere, but the essence and connotation of learning knowledge and skills become less important in their eyes.

This is the root of the conflict between children and parents. If you don't treat yourself honestly, you can't honestly face the fear and fear brought by the gap. You can only impose these requirements on children who are not sensible.

If you treat yourself dishonestly, you naturally dare not really face your own problems.

I have to say that this is also one of the sources of pain.

When I first started writing my personal number, I had a lot of ideas in my mind. I wonder when I can write the story of100,000+,and when I can receive a big advertisement. I just didn't expect to read more books and newspapers to live and write articles, so that I seem to be running around every day. In fact, Mao Mao's handling of the work is full of loopholes, and there are also spelling mistakes in the article.

Finally figured it out.

It turned out that I was too dishonest with myself after all. Finally, even I forgot why I insisted on writing more. Do you use words to record your life and express your thoughts, or do you just write books to earn money and win fans? When the honor and pleasure of pleasing society and others overflow the bottom line of self-integrity, then happiness becomes cheap and vulgar.

In the process of growing up, we must always learn to make ourselves smarter, easier to learn, more hardworking, more generous, more humorous, more responsible, more brave and so on. In short, being more perfect than yourself is not so important.

It is understandable to say that this is a kind heart, but if we form a bad habit of keeping the truth and keeping the fake, it will deviate from our original intention of trying to get better. We present an unreal self to others and think it is lovely and valuable. And that true self is a defective product that can't get on the table, so it should be hidden and covered up.

This in itself is the split of self-image. We don't like who we really are, so we show everyone a disguised "fake me". When this "fake me" is welcomed and praised, on the one hand, we are complacent and feel that we have successfully played a role, and this role is "me" in the eyes of others. On the other hand, our sense of inferiority has increased. We know that the external evaluation gives me a nonexistent "I", but the real me is hiding in the corner like Cinderella, picking up cinders.

When I think of this, I can always think of the hypocritical and cunning Mu Rongfu in Eight Dragons. He was crowned as a descendant of the nobility of the State of Yan, enjoying the reputation of "South Murong North Qiaofeng" under the heroic slogan, but what he did was for his selfish vanity, abandoning his brother and cousin, recognizing others as his father, and finally becoming a mad emperor.

If God wants it to perish, he must first make it crazy.

Being honest with yourself and your heart is the best way to avoid madness and inflation.

In fact, there are such shadows everywhere in life, hanging over you and me all the time.

Because I always want to behave better than my true state, I can't help but be enemies with my heart.

Clearly unhappy, afraid of being seen, but also to show people with a smile.

Obviously, I don't like drinking, but I am afraid of hurting other people's feelings, and I also propose a toast with a smile. Long live friendship.

Obviously, I have a problem with the leader, but I am afraid that the leader is biased against himself, so I work hard in front of the leader.

In fact, we all know each other's disharmony. There were different opinions at the meeting. Because I judged that I was a minority, I gave up my opinion and went with the flow. I thought it was a sophisticated action, but it was a chore to others.

In the Analects of Confucius in the past, Confucius asked his disciples that he was willing to be a thousand times general, had been willing to govern the country, and Gong Xihua was willing to be a nobody. It seems that everyone has expressed his lofty ambition, and only You Ran's ambition is "Mo Chun, the achievement of spring clothes, the number one scholar 56, the boy 67, bathing, singing and dancing."

I just want to wear spring clothes in late spring. There are also five or six adults and six or seven boy servants who go swimming in the Yi River to pray, enjoy the cool on the platform and go home singing. How peaceful it is to say such a thing. No wonder even Confucius, the teacher, lamented that he and Ran had the same idea.

Be honest with yourself and follow your heart. There is no need to please others, and there is no need to wronged yourself. Each of us should not mix any unwanted impurities in our life. Many years later, you will find that those bumps that fell into your heart in those years are like peas under the bed when you sleep in the middle of the night. Although they are small, they keep you awake.

In this world, in fact, everyone likes honest people and things.

You are real, you are safe, you make others feel safe, but happiness and happiness are born. The poet Mu Dan once wrote:

Since all efforts are just to complete an ordinary life, why not be honest with yourself once, at least let the ordinary life be true once. Maybe this is the best ending to be honest with yourself.