Can you give me a joke that girls like?

Firefly was detained for hooliganism. Fireflies refused to accept: Who discharged? Who streaked? Who has an exhibitionist? I'm not allowed to order the toilet when it's dark?

A robber in new york, USA, said a wise saying when robbing a bank: "Don't move, money belongs to the country, and life is your own!"

An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask, hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I see where the fuck you lost!

A patient was lying in bed singing and began to sing face up. After a while, he sang on his back. The dean was puzzled and asked why. He replied: silly, it was side A just now, and now it is side B!

One day, a lion and a bear were in the orchard. . A few days later, the trees near Lion db are longer than those near Bear db. So the bear said a very philosophical sentence: lion shit is better than bear shit ~! ~!

I told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health, but you always said meaningfully: It's warm, so I won't roll more dung balls. What shall I eat in winter?

A group of thieves robbed a bank and were photographed. The thief said: Brother, our movie dream has finally come true! The boss angrily said, idiot! Why don't you use your brain? Put on the mask, who knows which wrist we are.

Four-year "trophy" exhibition in university canteen: (Chairman C)

1) an earthworm, lying at the bottom of spinach soup, has turned white and swollen like a little finger;

2) A ladybug, seven stars, I counted them carefully;

3) A strawberry (a good thing), but I don't know why it appears in the bean bag;

4) I made a meat dish and saw a big piece of meat in it (as big as a mouse, everyone around me envied it). As a result, I turned it over and saw that it was half a pig breast with several inches of black hair on it! ! !

5) steamed stuffed bun, the first bite has not been eaten, and the second bite has been bitten;

6) Tofu, after eating it for the first time, always steals a few bricks from the canteen before each fight;

7) Others: porridge can take a bath, rice can shoot birds, and steamed bread flies to Taiwan Province Island. ...

Summary: The canteen is a place that can always surprise us: Today, you think you have the most difficult food to swallow in the world, but tomorrow, you can always find yourself wrong.

My lover is a stunning beauty. One day she will marry me on a fire-breathing dinosaur, but I saw her riding a horse, but I didn't see its owner. ...

A buddy said gloomily, "TMD, I was rejected by MM!" " "

The other said, "You figured it out like this. After being rejected, MM's sisters told me. " The buddy next to him said, "You are so lucky. The news that I was rejected was transmitted to the boys' dormitory through the girls' dormitory, and then my buddy told me. "

The last one said, "Ah, bah, I saw the news that I was rejected on the' Top Ten Today' in our school BBS! ! "

In class, the two boys in the back row:

A: "I curse that your future girlfriend is from our Jiaotong University!" "

B: "I curse your future girlfriend in our class! ! ! "

Freshman: I found a bug and the whole bowl of rice fell down;

Sophomore: I found a bug and picked it out to continue eating;

Junior year: I found a bug and ate it like there was no bug;

Senior: I found no bugs, protested, how can I eat without bugs!

When I was in graduate school, I found a bug, sighing, it was too simple.

When I was reading my PhD, I found that there were only bugs, and I felt that the school food had improved. ...

God, there are six "Xiao Qiang" in 4 Liang rice! ! !

Gentle, I can no longer restrain my pent-up anger. In a huff, I came to the rice window and slammed a kilo of 820 iron lunch box on the windowsill. In an instant, the noisy canteen quieted down, and more than a thousand pairs of eyes stared at Master Liu, who was cooking, and calmly pushed out my lunch box: "How many times have I said that it takes seven cockroaches to change a bean bag!" Everyone turned over. ...

The last question in the professional course exam: Who do you think is the most influential physicist? I wrote Newton. As a result, I was the only one in the class who failed. It turns out that everyone wrote the name of the tutor. ...

X, what a world!

Yesterday morning, I was watching the scenery on the balcony, and I found a beautiful girl in the opposite girl's dormitory waving to me with a handkerchief, and I waved to her. Then she ran to another window and waved to me, and I waved to her; Then she left again, and I didn't realize it until she waved to me at the third window. It turned out that she was cleaning the window. ...

MM looked for Tsinghua and got lost. Fortunately, I met a gentle professor with some thick books in his arms. "Excuse me, how can I get to Tsinghua University?" The professor pondered for a while and said earnestly, "Study, you can only go to Tsinghua if you continue to study hard."

A student in Tsinghua squats in a corner of the zoo with a broken bottle every day to watch bears. His mother went to the hospital to ask if there was anything wrong with the child's nerves. The doctor said that to judge whether he is ill, we must start with knowing him. So the doctor took a bottle to see the bear every day, and the two of them squatted for a month without saying a word. Finally, one day, he said, "Excuse me, are you, are you going to throw sulfuric acid at the bear?"

The only girl in the department came to watch the basketball game. Suddenly, the MM skirt was blown by the strong wind, and the foreign boy shouted, "God, spring is missing!" " "The boy in the department said with a calm face," Please, this is dirty clothes! "