Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - How to tell a girl I'll take you home?
How to tell a girl I'll take you home?
"Let's walk home," I suggested.
Although she followed my advice, she turned to look at the stop sign reluctantly.
"Don't look, it's only three stops." I dragged her schoolbag down the fallen leaves on the roadside. The south wind blew through our ears and made a buzzing sound. She spread her arms and tried to comb her hair. We didn't say a word. In the past three months, I always mistakenly thought that the opportunity had come to me on some casual occasions, but I never once expressed my thoughts. This time, maybe the opportunity really came. I silently counted that I could walk for a quarter of an hour. If I say fifty sentences, there should always be two I want to say.
"Huh?" She tied up her hair with a headrope that came out of nowhere. She asked me, "Isn't your home up there? Aren't you going home? "
"I went to my uncle's house today." Uncle? My grandmother worked hard all her life and gained four daughters. After my fourth aunt was born, it was my grandfather who gave up the plan to continue having children. Maybe he can't stand the blow of the fifth girl in his family. "Not far from your home. It takes about a quarter of an hour to walk. " I walked back to the school gate from her house for another quarter of an hour, and then I waited for the 1 1 road to go home quickly.
"Then you can take me home." She said.
We fell into the silent wasteland again, and I began to conceive my opening remarks: Actually … I'm already quite … no, this is too direct! How long have we known each other? Don't ask whether it was two years and three months from the first day of junior high school or Heine's poems.
"The weather forecast says it will snow today." She said, "When it snows, autumn will pass. I always feel particularly uncomfortable this fall. "
"It has been said for three consecutive days that it will snow. It seems that they can only call the wind and rain, but there is nothing they can do. " "It is said that there is no hunger and cold in the dream," I answered her. "There is only love, almost ..."
"You have read so many books, and your speech is different from others."
Why didn't she let me go on? "Close, close, close to ..."
"Why do you like reading so much? Just write an article. "
When we were fifteen years old, I couldn't help falling in love with her. Sometimes I wonder when this feeling of love came from and why I am so fascinated by a person. Often in the dead of night, after my parents fall asleep, I sneak out of the house and run in the deserted street for half an hour. I ran to her door and watched the pink curtains fluttering slightly behind the window. Before dawn, I will take out the chalk from my class and write her name all over the walls, roads and poplar bark. I read books crazily only because she believes that I will become a great talent. I didn't find the feeling of being so obsessed with a girl for the next few years. It seems that she didn't exist at that time. I just like the perfect image that I keep filling in and modifying.
Five or six years later, in a barbecue shop, we embarked on the road of memories through the past events in middle school. We talked about the head teacher's "chubby fish" legs and Li Jiangnan's strange expression when he ran to the hotel to pimp his girlfriend. It's just that things between us are always carefully bypassed by us like dandelions scattered on the roadside.
"In fact, I always liked you at that time." I looked at the white smoke from the stove and said casually.
"But you are too playboy." She took a sip of coke. "You will seduce me as soon as your girlfriend goes out. Hey! "
"Maybe," I filled her up. "Not then."
At that time, I followed her up the steps and counted the steps I had taken. I know that if I don't say it today, maybe there will never be such an opportunity again. I called her when I turned the corner.
"Huh?" She stopped and looked at me.
"I, my grandfather gave birth to four daughters. Why don't you think he has a son? "
"Maybe your grandpa's mother doesn't have a daughter?" She said and walked on.
"ah? That's true. He has only three brothers. " I regretted it when I said that. How should I get along with her?
"I'm going to my uncle's house!" I shouted, "I want to stay at his house for one night!" "
"I know. What are you shouting? "
I took a few quick steps, walked side by side with her and looked down at her arm. I didn't have enough courage to grab her hand several times.
"What are you doing? Is there money on the ground? "
"No." I said gloomily, "Your nails are beautiful and cream-colored."
"Really?" She smiled. "But your nails are chocolate."
Later, I grew long nails, and when I was bored, I manicured my nails under the light. I've always wanted to have her emerald nails.
"You walk too fast. I walked for a quarter of an hour, and now there are only five minutes left. "
"I'm starving. Bus number seven! " She jumped up. "It's all yours. You said there was no car. "
"Anyway, it's coming. Sit down and have a rest. I have a secret to tell you. "
"Say it straight, evasive."
"Actually, I really like you." I told her the secret of the barbecue shop, "at least for so long."
"Don't be ridiculous, your girlfriend has become a crop like wheat." She put down her glass and smiled and got closer to me. "What crops do you want me to be?"
"I'm not lying," I said. "Otherwise, I'll open the bottle cap. If I win the lottery, it is that God is verifying that I am telling the truth. " Maybe I pushed too hard and dropped the bottle cap. I got under the table and took out the bottle cap prepared in advance. I got up and handed it to her. I breathed a sigh of relief: "Only a few thousandths of the winning rate."
She looked at the bottle cap with a serious expression and felt that playing with the bottle cap was like talking to herself: "But why don't you just say it?"
I smiled with satisfaction. My girlfriend suddenly walked in and asked me what I was laughing at.
"She just told me a joke," I explained to my girlfriend. "After the war, a soldier who came down from the battlefield called his mother and said that he would bring his comrades back to live together. All right. Of course she was happy when her son came back. "But he was deceived." All right, we'll take good care of him. He lost his left leg. Silence. "Both arms were cut off, too." Son,' someone said over there,' such a heroic country is responsible. Why do you have to live in our house? The phone hung up and the soldier jumped off the building. When his mother saw the child's body, doubt filled her heart with sadness and pain. She asked about her dead son, but why didn't you just say so? "
"I don't think this is a joke," said my girlfriend. "Very sad."
"Yes," she said sadly, "but why don't you just say so?"
The air once condensed around the three of us.
I want to say, but I can't muster up enough courage. When I approached her house, I stopped to look at her fading back. Looking at my watch, I decided to shout at the sky a minute later: I don't have an uncle who just wants to send you away. I just like you! One, two, three ... I counted silently, and an ignorant man came to ask me for directions.
"It's over there, behind the building." I pointed impatiently.
"Where?" He's still pestering me. "It's too dark."
"It's right there." I took two steps forward to get rid of him. Look at the watch again.
It's been 55 seconds, and I can't see her anymore.
Fifty-six seconds, counting my mother, my grandfather has four daughters and I don't have any uncles.
Fifty-seven seconds, in fact, I just want to take you home, and I will run back the same way later.
It's been 58 seconds, and my face feels wet.
59 seconds, put it down-
"I like you!"
I'm waiting for my reply. The sound collides between buildings and finally flows back to the ears. I'm going to wait another minute, so it's only a quarter of an hour. I leaned down and listened to the pointer float. When the fluttering watch rang sixty times, the miracle I expected happened like this:
She ran back.
"It's snowing, look, it's snowing!"
I looked up, and the sky turned bright red, and the moon behind us gradually disappeared. Snow seems to cling to the chill between clouds, ups and downs in the air, unwilling to fall. "Really," I said in a voice, "autumn really passed in this moment."
She put down her schoolbag and jumped up excitedly to catch the snowflake in mid-air, just like a butterfly dancing in the dark. I cried unnaturally when I sat down quietly. I wonder if she heard me shout just now. Even if not, I'm not going to show my love to her again, and I won't in the future. Looking at the flying butterflies, I know that it is impossible for mortals to fall in love with fairies. The fairy I sketched in my whole junior high school career becomes eternal at this moment.
Later, she also sat down. We watched face to face. I laughed and she laughed. Then she smiled again. Countless snowflakes form a thin barrier between us. This barrier will travel through time and space, and will accompany my lifelong memory. It seems that every snowflake in it carries the feelings and thoughts of my youth. I put my hands together in the bowl and let these thoughts fall into the palm of my hand and turn into water, slipping from my fingertips. The snow is falling harder and harder, and the fairy's head is covered with snow. I really hope that we can sit here forever and watch the snow cover our sorrow for thousands of years. I have a dream that one day, even if my body has withered and rotted, I can always embed a pair of eyes in this snow, watching her beautiful face gradually dissolve in the snow after thousands of years, watching the snowflakes under the street lamp reflect red, and watching her face float with a faint smile. ...
Understand for yourself!
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