Who knows funny jokes? Let's listen to them.

1. One day, on a long-distance plane, the captain ran to the back during the break to chat with a stewardess, but the stewardess just wanted to read her magazine.

The captain said, let's play a game.

The stewardess was ashamed to scoff.

The captain added: This game is played like this. If I ask you a question and you can't answer it, you give me 5 dollars. Then if you ask me a question and I can't answer it, I will give you 5 dollars.

The stewardess is ashamed of her nose.

The captain felt bored and then increased the funds; Tell you what, if you don't answer, you give me 5 yuan, if I don't answer, I'll give you 100 yuan.

The stewardess put down the magazine, stared at the captain for five seconds, and then said, you ask.

The captain said: What is the cruising speed of the 747?

The stewardess thought for a moment and took out $5 to the captain. Then the captain said proudly; It's your turn to ask.

The stewardess asked, what are three eyes, six noses, nine legs and a tail?

The captain thought for a long time and paid the stewardess 100 dollars. The stewardess accepted it very calmly. The captain felt unconvinced and asked, what is the answer?

The stewardess gave the captain another $5 and went on reading her magazine.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "Xiao Ming, 1+ 1=?"

Xiao Ming said, "I don't know."

The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family."

Xiao Ming went to ask his mother, who was quarrelling with others. Xiao Ming asked, "Mom 1+ 1=?" Mom said, "Asshole!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= asshole;

Xiaoming went to ask his father again. Dad is drinking beer. Xiao Ming asked, "Dad 1+ 1=?" Dad said, "Cool!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= cool;

Xiaoming went to ask grandpa again. Grandpa is watching TV. Xiao Ming asked, "Grandpa 1+ 1=?" Grandpa said, "gangster!" "Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= gang boss;

Xiaoming asked his sister who was singing the national anthem: people who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= people who don't want to be slaves;

Xiaoming went to ask his sister who was singing children's songs: rabbit, open the door! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= bunny opens the door.

The next day, the teacher asked, "Xiaoming 1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said, "Asshole."

"Pa" teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool."

The teacher said inexplicably, "Who taught you?" Ming Dow Jr.: "The boss of the gang."

The teacher was startled and asked, "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" Xiaoming sings: People who don't want to be slaves.

The teacher shut Xiao Ming out. Xiaoming knocked at the door and sang, Little Rabbit, please open the door. The teacher fainted!

A student climbed the wall and was caught by the headmaster. The headmaster asked, "Why did you climb the wall?"

The student pointed to his coat and said, "Mi Bang Wei, don't take the usual road!"

The headmaster asked again, "How did you get over such a high wall?"

The student pointed to his trousers and said, "Li Ning, anything is possible!"

The headmaster said angrily, "What's the smell of climbing over the wall?"

The student pointed to the shoes: "Xtep, it feels like flying!" "

The next day, when the students came out of the main entrance, the headmaster was surprised and said, "Why didn't you turn it over today?"

The student pointed to the whole body and said, "Anta, I choose what I like!" " "

The headmaster was furious: "I want to remember you!" " "

The student was dissatisfied and asked, "Why? I am not mistaken! "

The headmaster sneered: "M-Zone, I am the owner of my site!" "

4. The teacher was giving a lecture when a little boy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I want to shit."

Hearing this, the teacher told the students: You can say it in another civilized way.

The student thought for a moment and said, teacher, my ass wants to vomit.

Hey, isn't this Xiao Wang?

Yo, it's Lao Li. What have you been up to recently?

Hey, it's nothing. I haven't seen your father since I played chess. How is he?

Thanks to you, it is still strong.

Your father also likes playing chess.

B: Really?

Yes, I used to play chess with your father.

B: (whispering) Why didn't I know?

Once we played chess, I had one scholar left and your father had one elephant left. . .

B: So it's not a draw?

A: yes, I am also a chess player, but your father quit and had to keep playing?

B: Ah, how do I get off?

A: Hehe, your father has an idea.

What idea?

Your father said, "Why don't we all cross the river?"

B: I have never heard of it!

A: Then your father's elephant crossed the river, and so did my taxi. Your father regards his elephant as me, and I regard my taxi as your father. . . Your father is like me again, I am like your father, your father is like me, I am like your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me, I am your father, your father is like me. . . . . . . . .

B: Get out! !