What are the 20 funniest jokes?

1, military training for students has three advantages: training students' endurance, physical strength and vitality; Training the spirit, soul and physique of soldiers; Highlight students' style, style and scenery. I wish the students to practice their skills and show heroism.

2. When you fall in love with youth, you say that you love my scarred face; In my twilight years, when you supported me, you said that you were born without me. When life and death leave, I finally know your true wish. Dear, happy April Fool's Day!

3, Ah Q main information: If you want to contact me, please fly to the Antarctic continent, I am playing snowstorm. Someone replied: I saw you in the game just now, so we are in the South Pole! The earth turns very fast!

4. A newly married daughter-in-law was having dinner with her parents in a restaurant that day when she received a strange phone call and said, "Boy, I'm your father." I reflected the courier: "liar!" My dad sits across from me for dinner! "Then I hung up the phone. After hanging up for a while, my mother said flatly, "It won't be your father-in-law, will it?" "

5.2 1 century, you let me see the non-mainstream of the 22 nd century. You are a top-notch idiot. About your birth, the world is destined to waste rice, money, places and even air. How wasteful do you think your birth is? Please don't talk to me with your excretory organs. This is very impolite. Thank you!

6. Customer: What is the best-selling steamed stuffed bun here? Me: Fresh meat set meal. Customer: Then give me a sprout.

7.3 18 Spring returns to the earth, the lucky stars shine brightly and your family enters home with leisure and wealth. The box is full of lucky money, and I wish you unlimited money. 18 Good luck in March.

8. In a Chinese class, the teacher asked: What is the next sentence of the martyrs in their twilight years? A classmate didn't hear this sentence, but only heard it as "in front of the tomb of the martyrs", so he answered: On the way to the grave. The whole class fainted and the teacher vomited blood.

9. One day, when I was on the bus, I suddenly heard a bang. I don't know what it is, but I suddenly saw a man, looking around. Oh, I see. It turns out that he farted.

10, I gave my mother 5000 yuan, and then she counted it and gave me 100 yuan. She said generously, "I'll give you 100 yuan. Look how good your mother is to you. " I want to say: that money is all mine.

1 1. Many years ago, when we were on a business trip, two people were riding motorcycles. In winter, I sit in the back row. Although I was wearing a cotton-padded coat, my hands were too cold. I put it behind him to keep warm. The road was bumpy, and then the guy in front said, what do you want? Your people are going to stick it up my ass!

12, moonlit, in the park. Girl: "No woman is more unfortunate than me, and no one loves me." Young man: "But there are people who love you very much." Girl: "Ah, who is it?" Hold the young man's hand at the same time. Young man: "God!" "Why do you always close your eyes every time I kiss you?" "It means I didn't see Egypt."

13, dear, whenever I lie in your warm arms, I wish time could stop at this happy moment, but I can't stop the passage of time. Now I have to leave you, dear, and go to sleep!

14, a colleague, while resting and sleeping at noon, suddenly said, the blood trough is full, zoom in! When others were still ignorant, they suddenly smelled the house. NM makes your blood tank full and enlarges you. Today TM makes you unable to take care of yourself!

15, Part I: Play dumb and don't understand, work hard. Bottom line: calm and forget the light wind and rain, and live in peace. Horizontal recognition: an essential rule for employees

16, my girlfriend said to herself: Sooner or later, should I make a decision now? My boyfriend listened and comforted me: Dear, if you think it's right, don't hesitate. I am on your side. After a while, my girlfriend said firmly: Let's break up!

17, a mosquito stared at your face and couldn't pull out its mouth. I regret it. After I died, I told all the mosquitoes about it, so everyone knows that you are too thick-skinned.

18, Student Edition: There are a group of college students on this side of the mountain and on the other side of the sea. They are beautiful and smart. They are tall and handsome. They came to the campus happily, and unconsciously wanted to fall in love. Oh, fashionable college students, oh, trendy college students, they are full of knowledge and determination to rise, and they swear to carry their love to the end.

19, 6-year-old peaches rummaged around in the study and jumped around, causing the father who was reading a book to frown: "Go, play outside, dad is reading here!" Peach cocked his head and looked at him and said, "No, I didn't miss you!" " "

20. Just on the train, I heard a sister chatting with a mother with children. She said that her parents were not at home when she brought her sister. When her sister cried, she poured wine for her sister, and she stopped crying for a while. I wonder how her sister is doing now.