The legal jokes in history are full of great wisdom.

The legal passages in history are full of great wisdom.

Legal person's vision

According to legend, during the Spring and Autumn Period, Lu made a law. If Lu people see their compatriots being sold into slavery in foreign countries, as long as they are willing to pay for the redemption, the state will compensate and reward them when they return to Lu.

This law has been implemented for many years, and many Lu people who have been living abroad have been saved and can go back to their hometown.

Later, Confucius had a disciple named Zi Gong, who was a wealthy businessman. He redeemed many Lu people from abroad, but he refused the compensation from the state because he thought he didn't need the money and was willing to share the redemption burden for the country.

However, Confucius cursed Zi Gong, saying that his behavior was harmful to the world. It has harmed countless compatriots in Lu in distress.

Confucius said: "Everything is just for profit. Lu's original law only requires people to have a word in their hearts. As long as everyone can show compassion when he sees his compatriots in distress, and as long as he is willing to take the trouble to redeem this person and bring his compatriots back to China, it can be a good thing. Afterwards, the state will give him a taste and reward. Let this person who does good deeds not suffer losses and get everyone's praise. In the long run, more and more people will be willing to do good deeds. So this law is a good law. "

Confucius also said: "Zi Gong's behavior won him higher praise, but at the same time it also raised everyone's demands for righteousness."

Those who ask for money from the country after redeeming the people in the future may not only never get everyone's praise, but may even be laughed at by Chinese people and ask why they can't share their worries for the country like tributes.

The sage said that Zi Gong's move was against reason and profit, so it was not a good deed, but the most hateful evil. "

Since paying tribute, many people will pretend to be deaf and dumb to their compatriots in distress.

Because they are not as rich as Zigong, asking the state for a little compensation will be reviled.

Many people in Lu can't go back to their homeland because of this.

Comments: Should legal professionals stand tall and look far, and have the consciousness of seeking the overall situation and the world?

Legal service fee

An optician taught a new employee how to charge customers.

When you give a customer glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say, "75 dollars."

If his eyes don't tremble, you can say, "This is the price of the frame. This lens costs 50 dollars. "

If his eyes still don't quiver, you can add: "every piece."

Comment: Can the lawyer fees be compared?

Law and cost

When an alumnus was studying in Germany, his wallet was stolen by pickpockets in the library, and there were 20 euros in it.

He wasn't going to call the police, but the security guard in the library called the police. In less than 5 minutes, a policewoman rushed to the scene and asked him to make a statement.

The policewoman said: "The automatic security system of the library has recorded the honor of the thief. The police station can post photos of thieves to all police stations in the whole area today. If we still can't find the thief, we will send the video to the TV station and play it repeatedly until the case is solved. "

"I want to forget it, only 20 euros, no need to be angry. Even if the thief is caught, the price is too great. " He said to the policewoman.

"no! We are policemen, not businessmen. Only businessmen can tell whether it is worth it, and the dignity of the law cannot be measured by money. If a thief breaks the law, he will be punished by law. " The policewoman said sternly.

As a result, the video of stealing money was broadcast on TV the next day, and the thief was caught.

Comment: Countries and regions that do not count legal fees pay less, while countries or regions that are difficult or unwilling to report cases often pay higher fees.

Law and conscience

Two years before the fall of the Berlin Wall, a wall guard named Henrich in East Germany shot and killed Chris, a young man who climbed the Berlin Wall and tried to escape to West Germany.

In his trial after the fall of the Berlin Wall, his lawyer argued that he was just a man who gave orders, basically had no right to choose, and was innocent.

The judge pointed out: "As a policeman, it is guilty to disobey orders from superiors, but not guilty to be inaccurate.

Zou Shiming both fell off the altar. As a sane person, at this moment, you have the right to raise the muzzle one centimeter, which is your conscience obligation.

In this world, there is conscience besides law. When law conflicts with conscience, conscience is the highest principle of action, not law. Respect for life is a universal principle. "

Comment: You have the right to raise the muzzle by one centimeter. Last resort, fight, but you should deliberately not fight-don't kill others. This is the minimum morality and the highest conscience. No one can use "obeying orders" as an excuse to cross the bottom line of morality and ethics. This is the moral obligation of "one centimeter power", otherwise you must bear the responsibility.

What did the lawyer say?

The court will formally try the murderer Jimmy, but his lawyer didn't come for some reason.

Judge: "Jimmy, your lawyer didn't come. Do you want to wait for him? "

Jimmy: "Yes! Judge. "

Judge: "You were caught at the crime scene! And confessed to the crime. What's the use of waiting for him? What can he say? "

Jimmy: "I'm surprised too, so I want to hear what he has to say."

Comment: Who said that lawyers' fees would change the final result of the law? Letting the parties be punished with dignity is also one of the contents of this crime.

Do what you want, don't cross the line.

0 1. With the lawyer's full defense, the defendant was finally acquitted.

At the gate of the court, the lawyer asked the defendant, "You have been released, and we are going to break up. Now please tell me the truth at last. Did you really commit a crime? "

The defendant replied, "Lawyer, when I heard your wonderful defense in court, I realized that I was innocent."

Two old friends I haven't seen for a long time met in the street. One of them was on crutches. "What's the matter with you?"

Another asked with concern. "I was in a car accident six months ago."

"It's so serious, you still use crutches!"

"The doctor thinks it can be thrown away, but my lawyer thinks it is not enough."

Comment: The lack of case justice is the price of the smooth operation of the rule of law. It is understandable that China's lawyers set out from the requirements of their professional duties, untie their own knots, and seek to maximize the interests of themselves and their clients within the scope of norms.

Right-handed crime

This is theft.

The defense lawyer said, "The defendant just put his right hand into the window and stole a few things. His right hand is inferior to his. How can he punish the whole person for committing a crime with one right hand? "

The judge finally ruled: "The defense's opinion is reasonable and adopted. Sentenced the defendant's right hand to one year's imprisonment. Whether the defendant goes to jail with his right hand is up to him. "

The lawyer quickly helped the defendant remove the wooden prosthetic hand attached to his right arm, gave it to the judge, and then took the defendant away with only one hand.

Comment: A good hunter can't beat a cunning fox!

Ask a lawyer to appear in court.

Two people who met in a narrow way are making a scene.

One said, "I'm going to court to sue you!" " "

The other said, "Whatever!"

"I'm going to the Supreme Court to sue you!" "Keep company with ..."

"I'll sue you in hell!"

"Well, then I'll ask a lawyer to appear in court!"

Comments: It is not easy to be a lawyer. You have to be able to go to heaven and land!

Poor wish

A divorce case was heard, and the plaintiff's lawyer called his client to come forward. He asked sympathetically, "As far as I know, every night when you come home from the office, not only does your wife not wait for you alone, but you also find someone hiding in the closet, right?"

"Yes, it's not bad at all!" The plaintiff replied.

"Of course it will make you angry and sad!" The lawyer said.

"Of course I will be sad," said the plaintiff. "Think about it, I don't even have a place to hang my clothes!"

Comment: This man is really bad, including his thoughts.

An unexpected letter from a lawyer

This is a true story, which happened in the winter of America 1966.

Jack decided to go skiing in Texas with his good friend Bob. They went to the south in Jack's station wagon.

After driving for several hours, they were caught in a terrible snowstorm. They parked in front of a nearby farmhouse and asked a charming hostess if they could spend the night there.

The hostess explained that my husband died recently. If I let you live in my house, I'm afraid the neighbors will gossip.

Jack said, don't worry, we want to sleep in the barn. We will leave when the sun rises tomorrow morning.

The hostess allowed them to spend the night in the barn. She gave Bob a meaningful look when the door closed.

In the morning, the weather cleared up and they continued on their way.

Nine months later, Jack received a letter from a lawyer in Texas. After reading it, he thought for a few minutes and realized that the letter should have been written by the widow's lawyer.

He called his friend Bob and said, Bob, do you remember that beautiful widow on the farm where we lived?

Yes, I remember.

Jack: You got up in the middle of the night and went to her bedroom, right?

Yes, I ... I admit I did.

Q: Did you use my name and address without telling her your name?

Bob blushed and said, yes, I did.

Jack replied: Well, thank you! She just died and left me her farm, villa and all her property.

Comment: Honesty is the most precious quality in the world. If you don't want to take responsibility, then you don't deserve to gain. After reading this true story, you will believe that God is fair.