My girlfriend is going to have an exam. What jokes can make her relax and make her unconsciously take the bait, hehe.

1. Bajie, don't think you are a night pig standing under a street lamp.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, and the world has the Great Wall.

When the college entrance examination results came out, the teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said to me: In fact, it is a kind of happiness for you and the university.

Please don't ask him to use his brain-his left brain is full of water and his right brain is full of flour, so he just moves easily and everything is paste.

5. I will help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve.

6. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

7. When you stumble and become a cripple, you turn around and flash your waist.

8. I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a messy room hero.

Hope is like fire, disappointment is like smoke, and life is like fire and smoke. ...

You said you would wait for me, and you did. You found someone to wait with.

A celebrity is a person who nobody knows who he is before he becomes famous, but who he is after he becomes famous.

My world suddenly began to snow, my god! Please don't comb your hair next to me.

I like making friends, especially girlfriends.

Fools wait for death, wise men wait for money.

A fat man claimed that he was not a clown.

I envy you for knowing me so young.

1, I had a dream last night that the white Venus told me many secrets! It turns out that we were all immortals 500 years ago. I cried, I remember! Sweet, it's Jiro! Do you remember me, Xiao Tian? How about these hundreds of years?

2, don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang! Don't pretend with me, the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China is behind me. If you don't believe me, bin Laden is my uncle. Bomb first, then poison. If you refuse to obey again, the registered policeman is my aunt. Change your account to a pig!

3. How much I fucking love you, and you fucking ignore it; I give you a fucking discharge, and you fucking pretend not to see it; I fucking want to jump off a building, and you fucking want to turn back; You fucking changed your mind! I fucking landed!

4. When a meteor falls in love with the earth, it will fall without hesitation, just for that moment; When clouds fall in love with running water, they fall without hesitation, just to solve the pain of acacia; As soon as I think of you, I will not hesitate to pay a dime to tell you in advance: Happy June 1st, little P-boy!

You drag a pig shopping, and you look very happy. I passed by and said sympathetically, "Look at a person's grade and who he is with." Before I finished, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain.

6. On the first day, were you a pig? You answered no, and you were beaten-dishonest! The next day, I asked you if you were a pig, and your answer was, beaten-not modest! On the third day, I asked you if you were a pig, but you didn't say a word and were beaten wildly-even if you were a pig, you still dragged on! ! !

7. It's the end of the month. If you still have something to say, please read this tongue twister after me: level 1 difficulty: nonsense, waving phone bills. Level 2 difficulty: the phone bill will evaporate. Level 3 difficulty: playing nonsense and volatilizing phone bills!

8. College students = eat+sleep+fall in love with pigs = eat+sleep, so college students = pigs+fall in love with more college students-fall in love = pigs, that is, college students don't fall in love with pigs.

9, affectionate days, affectionate places, affectionate I am waiting for you. I miss you with a lonely pillow: I love you+miss you+hope you+miss you+wait for you = I can't live without you, I love you-Xizhilang cici jelly!

10, God bless me, bless those who forget me, don't contact me, don't call, don't send text messages, don't miss me, don't miss me, and their mobile phones fall into the toilet. Amen! By the way, let the water flush!

1 1. It rains in every city, just like I miss you everywhere. Missing is a kind of fruit, sweet and sour, full of memories of the night. I miss you and want to crush you with uncertainty ~ ~ ~

12, what happened? Just now, I called your mobile phone. After the bell rang, I was prompted that the user was eating grass. Please don't disturb! I can't believe it. Call again and say: the subscriber you dialed has been sent to the slaughterhouse. Please share it later! Are you okay? !

13, days without you/melancholy/days without you/upset/life without you/it's really hard/when can I really have you/my dearest. . . . . . Not beauty, not you, but money!

14, if the ear itches, it proves that someone misses you; If your eyes itch, it proves that someone wants to see you; If your lips itch, it proves that someone wants to kiss you; If your body itches. . . . Stop joking, it's time for a bath! ! !

15, I saw you that day. You are very uncomfortable sitting in the sun. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: "Keep your voice down, no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!