Funny quotes about work

Funny quotes at work

Funny quotes at work. People with a sense of humor will always be liked by everyone. They will also say some funny words when the atmosphere is not so good. Work is A relatively hard job can be made easier by joking about work. Let’s take a look at the funny quotes about work. Funny quotes about work 1

1. When the manager and the boss roar, the door of the office trembles three times; when the manager and the boss roar twice, Don't dare to be lazy and chat about games; the boss yells at the manager three times, and your bonus will be deducted for being late for late work if you make the wrong mistake.

2. Manager: You are responsible for your project. Me: Then I’ll go find the chairman. Manager: Well, let me tell you first, one person does the work and the other does the work. Xiao Ding does the work, but Tinker Bell! I:! ． !

3. Because I go to work, I go out less; because I am busy, my friends are far away; because of the leader, my temper is good; because of the economy, my salary is less; because of competition, I am crazy! Hey, this is work.

4. He blows bubbles in his mouth and dares to walk around. He doesn’t care who is on or off. He is the biggest in the company. He sits on the chair sideways and shirks all tasks. When asked who he is, It turns out to be the boss’s son ~ four years old!

5. It may not be the leader who goes to work every day, it may not be the boss who holds meetings every day, and it may not be the rich man who counts money every day, but it must be us working-class people who suffer from the same problem every day? Then I wish us an early promotion and exchange with them, hehe!

6. I am happily looking forward to the end of the month. My salary has not come back. This month I am a little hopeful. I have worked a little too much overtime. I am so excited. I look at my salary and I am heartbroken. If I get a raise for overtime, If you can be balanced, you will have endless happiness in life.

7. When the alarm clock rings, I jump out of bed, get dressed, wash and eat, pack my bags and put on makeup. When I arrived at the station, there was no shuttle bus. I thought the shuttle bus had missed me, so I hurriedly took a taxi to go to work. When I arrived at my work unit, the house was empty, and I realized that I was working in vain. It turned out that today is the weekend!

8. One day, an old employee made a mistake and heard rumors that the boss wanted him to retire and return home. He felt aggrieved and went to the boss and said, "Boss, I was wrong. Can you please stop killing the donkeys?" The boss laughed and said, "The price of donkey meat has increased. How can I be willing to kill it?"

9. Part of the resume of a certain ridiculous person: Name: Du Ziteng; Gender: Male; Hobby: Female; Specialty: Nails; Favorite words: When I came to this world, I had no intention of returning alive. Note: What I submitted was not my resume, but my loneliness.

10. I look sad at work, but smile after get off work; I work hard and take very few vacations; I work so hard that it seems like my efforts are in vain; the boss calls me here and there, but the employees have no place to vent their anger... No matter how hard they work , life must go on!

11. Going to work is a painful thing, because you have to play games secretly while the boss is away, doze off and risk suspension, and communicate with beautiful colleagues and be careful of being misunderstood by the boss’s wife. Oh, boss, look I am so overworked, when will my salary be increased?

12. Tomorrow will you think of every bit of work? Tomorrow will you still remember that you were the one who loved your work the most? People in the world can no longer remember you who couldn’t hand over work; I It was also by chance that I looked through my diary and remembered you at work.

13. I get up early and early every day, and when I go to work, I still look at the watch. The hour and minute hands are too slow, so I can only concentrate on my work; one day when my salary arrives, I burst into tears and laugh, excited. Said: Is it easy for me? I wish you a successful career in the workplace!

14. If you feel sleepy at work, you will be energetic after work; if you are dazed at work, you will be smart after get off work; if you are distressed at work, you will laugh after get off work. Hey! Don't think about it, it's almost noon, think about what to eat for lunch. Although the work is hard, don't make our stomachs suffer anymore!

15. Is it fun to go to work? If it’s not fun, just roll the dice: chat on QQ at one o’clock, play games at two o’clock, go to bed at three o’clock, be lazy at four o’clock, take a vacation at five o’clock, take a vacation every day at six o’clock, work hard if you don’t fall behind, and break it. Just apply for overtime!

16. Some contributions cannot be measured, such as overtime, some wages cannot be stored, such as my salary, and some times must be rushed, such as going to work. Some friends can only give low-key blessings. , like you, I can only wish you a happy job.

17. Two employees of the company made a bet. Whoever loses will have to go to the Foot Washing City to treat guests to have their feet washed. At that time, we were all watching the fun.

Just when the winner was decided, a girl next to her shouted: "I'll go too, I'll go too, I've never washed my feet!" As a result, everyone stood still and all looked at her feet.

18. Slowing down the hurried pace is called taking a walk; relaxing the tense nerves is called calming the mind; letting go of the tired body and mind is called letting go; putting down the busy work is called letting go. It is euphemistically called the combination of work and rest. Friends, remember to "be low-key and do things high-key"!

19. The workplace is an alchemy furnace, where you can refine the fire-eye gold, which can change in seventy-two ways. You can see through everything and adapt to changes. The one thing that remains unchanged is the need for money; the workplace is a crematorium. Those who have not refined the fire-eye gold , the seventy-two changes will definitely be burned to ashes. If there is anything that is not burned to ashes, it must be the "White Bone Essence".

　20. In the summer, the manager wore a pair of thin trousers and stood in front of the stage while walking and lecturing. Suddenly, there was a "click" sound and the manager's trousers opened, revealing his beautiful buttocks. , suddenly, there was silence in the room, and Xiaogang was heard whispering to Xiaoming: "Look how red the manager's face is!" Funny Work Quotes 2

1. I have nothing to give to the teacher on Teacher's Day, so I have to Return the knowledge you have learned.

2. When I was a child, my dream was to be a hero. When I grew up, I didn’t expect that I could easily achieve it with a mobile phone, and there were quite a few choices.

3. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future but no way out.

4. In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine’s Day, middle school students celebrate Singles’ Day, and college students celebrate Children’s Day.

5. Summer is here, and I realize that I can stay where it’s cool. It's really not a curse word, this is definitely the most sincere concern.

6. It’s really too hot today. I want to find someone to have a cold war with for a few days.

7. Get out of here, keep going.

8. Try to understand those people you hate, you will find that the more you look at them, the more you hate them!

9. You have the nerve to lie, how can I have the nerve not to believe you?

10. If you don’t want to study, don’t want to work hard, can’t persist, can’t be focused, have no execution ability, don’t know how to be grateful, and want to make money, then go buy a bowl.

11. I understand the truth, but I still can’t help but look back when I hear others calling me beautiful.

12. Opportunity is like a hair on a bald man's head. If you catch it, you will catch it. If you can't, it will be gone.

13. If no one in the world wants you in the future, you must remember that there is still me, and I don’t want you either!

14. If you don’t fall in love with me, please recommend me to the people around you. What if you meet someone who is blind and has nothing to say to me?

15. Horses and horses are just clouds, so now I start to believe in donkeys.

16. I look thin to you when I am fat, so as not to look ugly to you when I am thin.

17. I sincerely advise everyone not to eat genetically modified foods. My child’s genes did not match mine during the paternity test. This is because the child’s genes have been changed by eating genetically modified foods. This is what my wife told me!

18. My emotions can be roughly divided into four categories: eating too much, sleeping too much, thinking too much, and spending too much.

19. I wish that when I received the red envelope, I would open it and it would say another one.

20. Mathematics is actually very simple, but the remaining 90 points are difficult.

21. To explain is to cover up, to cover up is to be dishonest, and to be dishonest is to take care of yourself!

22. It is recommended that everyone try to go to bed early and get up early, do not play online games, do not eat midnight snacks, and develop good habits. Over time, you will find that you have no friends.

23. I had no desire to learn, but I ended up failing the exam.

24. If you are willing to open my homework layer by layer, you will find that you will be surprised. This page is not written, and that page is not written.

25. If you chase a star and you can’t get him, why not chase me? I’ll get it in a few clicks.

26. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

27. If you were a flower, no cow would dare to poop in the future.

28. Why is everyone celebrating Valentine’s Day, but my family is celebrating Labor Day.

29. The saddest thing in the world is lack of sleep, especially when you have a cold.

30. I would rather be fat and exquisite than be thin and the same.

31. Don’t look down on fat people. If you lose weight, you will look stunning.

32. Every day, I am in a state of having a surplus of heart but not enough sleep, having a surplus of heart but not enough IQ, and having a surplus of heart but not enough balance.

33. People who have always been dissatisfied with their hairstyle and body shape have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a problem with their face.

34. My son is one and a half weeks old, and he finally speaks today. His first sentence is "Call daddy." Is this what I taught you?

35. I heard that placing a mobile phone next to a pillow while sleeping would cause radiation. I was so scared that I got up and threw the pillow away, which scared the baby to death.

36. There are many things that you can’t figure out at the time. Don’t worry. If you think about it after a while, you won’t be able to remember it.

37. Yue Lao! Could you please stop using the fake red string to marry me? It breaks every now and then!

38. I don’t like you, like the neighbor who ate Sichuan peppercorns and numbed the next door.

39. If you don’t see me, you will regret it for the rest of your life. If you see me, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

40. The world is too big, but I still met you; the world is small, but I still lost you.

41. God closed a door for you, and then went to wash up and sleep.

42. I won’t bend down if money falls from the sky, because even pies won’t fall from the sky, let alone money.

43. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks like a lot. Just use it and it won’t be enough!

44. I don’t know if I’m awesome or not, but when people say to me, “The earth will still rotate even after you die,” I feel like the earth is holding on.

45. If I meet you, I will spend all my luck. Please stay away from me, I want to save my luck and make money, thank you.

46. Why are you myopic? In order to look at things in the world lightly, I blurred my eyes.

47. I can cook instant noodles of various flavors. Do you want to consider marrying me?

48. If I hit you, I will hit you. Do you still have to choose a day?

49. I heard that ugly people should study more. No wonder my mother said that I was not good at studying since I was a child.

50. What words did I say that made you sad and shed tears? Please tell me and I will say it again.

51. I am sleepy all year round, but I am most awake when I am lying in bed.

52. There is only one worry when you are not full, but there are countless worries when you are full.

53. Young people must not lose confidence just because of one subject of mathematics. This is not the only subject that you cannot master.

54. I am not an orange, shake it when you want to drink it, nor am I iced black tea. Not another bottle. He who loses me is lost forever.

55. I have long wanted to eat barbecue and hot pot. I can skip it if I say I don’t want to go. I have spent a lot of effort planning the travel route and delete it as soon as I say it. However, this kind of girl has the same characteristic: no money.

56. Your biggest problem is not that you are confused about the future, but that you are unable to get out of bed.

57. I hope some friends will understand that the saying "you won't become fat if you eat one bite" is to advise everyone not to rush for success in doing things, rather than to comfort you if you eat a few more bites and you won't get fat.

58. When I paid the phone bill, I realized that what I said was so valuable.

59. A woman who cannot cry is a monster, and a woman who can only cry is a waste.

60. Actually, I want to say that you are disgusting, but unfortunately, I don’t have time to say it because my sister vomited.

61. Some people are like this. They are maggots and feel that the whole world is a cesspit.

62. If you think of me too complicated, it means you are not simple either.

63. Others are hitting the wall. It will definitely be very profitable for me to build the wall.

64. I am a principled person. My principle only has three words. It depends on my mood.

65. Boys nowadays are too bad. They are whiter, taller and prettier than girls, and they even compete with girls for their boyfriends.

66. Stop asking me what is the standard for being handsome, okay? You’ll know just by looking at me!

67. Unlike those of you who run for exercise in the morning, I have already tried my best just to sit up from the bed.

68. You scold me now because you don’t understand me yet. When you understand me in the future, you will definitely hit me.

69. If I can’t get rich overnight, I can accept it in two nights, or even half a month.

70. What you can pick up but cannot put down is the chopsticks, and what you can’t get out of is the quilt.

71. I have never understood why I always say I am taking the elevator when the elevator is obviously for standing people.

72. Because you have a double chin, don’t bow your head when encountering any difficulties.

73. My emotions can be roughly divided into four categories: eating too much, sleeping too much, thinking too much, and spending too much.

74. When I am at home, I still insist on surfing the Internet when I have a fever. When I am at school, I feel like I have terminal cancer even when I sneeze.

75. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future but no way out.

76. Being lazy, if done well, is called enjoyment; being shameless, if done well, is called persistence; pretending to be stupid, if done well, is called being wise and foolish? Don't use a honey trap on me, otherwise I will fall into your trap.

77. Heroes don’t ask where they come from. Love comes with my speed.

78. It’s getting cold. If you have someone to hug, let’s put some clothes on if you don’t.

79. If you think you are poor and ugly, please don’t be sad, at least your judgment is still right.

80. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine and I will generate heat. Don't make me angry, or I'll melt you.

81. When I came home during the vacation from college, my mother cooked me a table of delicious food. My dad said: Eat it freely, treat it as your own home!