What cold joke did you tell your girlfriend? Come in and answer me humorously, I will be very grateful.

1, three children chat together and say what is the most poisonous!

Child A: "Mosquitoes are the most poisonous. My brother's hand was bitten by a mosquito, red and itchy. "

Child b: "wasps are the most poisonous." My brother was stung by a wasp and is still swollen and painful. "

Son c thought for a long time and said, "I don't know what stabbed my sister." Her belly is round and big! " "

2、

My wife went out to collect debts and returned empty-handed a few months later.

The husband said angrily, "You are really incompetent!"

The wife said disapprovingly, "although I didn't get the money, the boss's child was taken hostage by me!" " "

The husband was overjoyed and asked, "Where are you?" The wife patted her belly and said, "It's locked inside!"

3、

The deskmate changed the QQ name to "before your father died" and added our class teacher.

So the class teacher's QQ often prompts:

Your father asked to be your friend before he died.

Your father invited you to play in the parking space before he died.

Your father gave you a QQ show before he died.

Your father stole your food before he died.

Your father reported you before he died.

Your father forwarded your Weibo before he died. . .

The fiercest: Your father left you a message before he died.

4. What should I do if I am bitten by mosquitoes in summer?

Of course, we should raise him.

Send him to school.

Buy him a house.

(4) Help him get a wife.

Show him the baby, or what can you do?

After all, it is your blood.

5、

The supermarket lined up to pay the money, and the MM in front stepped on me without apologizing.

So I took the biggest box of Durex from the side and put it on her shopping cart when she wasn't looking.

6、

My wife often says that if she wins the lottery one day, she will definitely get divorced and move abroad without giving me money. She must not know that I have been buying lottery tickets with the same number as her for five years ... see if she can still laugh then!

7、

An employee bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting.

Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

8、

Classmate a hit classmate b.

The teacher asked him, "Why did you hit someone?

A replied that C asked him to call.

Hearing this, the teacher was very angry. "Call you play, you play. If you were asked to eat shit, would you eat it? "

After listening, classmate A left angrily without saying anything.

After a while, the teacher called the monitor at once. "Go and see what a classmate did. ...

9、

Learn from me: Is the mayor of Nanjing called Jiangqiao?

I said: no!

The classmate said: Then when I took the train yesterday, I saw a big sign saying-Welcome to Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge!

I am speechless!

10、

Look at these last words. How many can you know?

Eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit,

Have you ever found that you can do nothing but eat shit?