Cold joke collection

1. One day, eggplant was walking in the street and suddenly sneezed. It wiped its nose and said angrily, "Shit! Someone took a group photo again! "

2. There is a male deer, which runs faster and faster ... and finally becomes a high-speed male deer!

3. Q: The teacher recited the text at will in class. Piggy, puppy and kitten all raised their hands. Who will the teacher ask to answer: puppy, because Wangwang Xianbei!

4. Q: Which two kinds of fruits have mobile phones? ? A: Radish and vegetables have their own tastes!

5. Whose legs are long in Jin Mu? ? A: ham sausage!

6. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying, crying, crying ... and sprouted!

7. Q: Why didn't you say hello when you met a medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak? ? A: Because they are all unfamiliar!

8. Q: Xiaobai+Xiaobai = Little White Rabbit, Dabai+Dabai+Dabai =? ? A: Great white shark!

Xiao Ming got a haircut and came to school the next day. When the students saw his new hairstyle, they all laughed: "Xiao Ming, your head is a kite!" " "Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Cry, cry ... He flew!

10. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River and turned into a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground, causing a missile; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and turned into a bad egg; An egg is riding a horse with a knife. It turned out to be Beijing Opera Blues!

1 1. My neighbor's child's name is Zhu Chuan. Every time his mother buys him clothes, she always tells people that they are for our family Zhu Chuan …

12. During the Spring Festival, my wife gave me 1000 yuan lucky money. I made a concession according to the traditional custom of China, just for a moment. My wife actually took it back and said not to forget it. Let's talk about it next year ... the money we get, the cooked ducks. ...

13. Chen cursor returned to China and was stopped by a reporter who came in a hurry at the airport. He asked, "Mr. Chen, was your acquisition of * * * rejected by the other party?" Chen cursor waved and said, "You don't have to buy it. It is free on the return flight. "

14. I believe that time can really change a person, just like you were ugly before, and then you became more and more ugly.

15. A friend planted some garlic seedlings in the dormitory, saying it was to add some greenery to the dormitory. He worked hard for two weeks. When I was cooking noodles yesterday, I thought it tasted bad, so I pinched two and put them in a bowl. As a result, when he came back, he cried and insisted that I pay for it. As for it? I had no choice but to give him the cabbage I had raised for two months.

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