Can you tell me an interesting joke? ?

A male colleague went out at noon yesterday without his mobile phone. His wife keeps calling. The female colleague who took a nap was disturbed by the noise. She took her cell phone and shouted, "Are you bored that we are sleeping?" "As a result, male colleagues didn't come to work today!

Ninth place

I was hungry in the afternoon and saw a bottle of yogurt on my colleague's desk. I drank it without thinking. After a while, my colleague came and shouted, "Why is my facial cleanser gone?" 108! ! "Brother didn't speak, just silently walked to the bathroom, dig dig throat, feel sick. He vomited hard until he spit out sour water. When tears flowed back to his seat, his colleague took a bottle and said, "I was scared to death." The facial cleanser rolled under the table. Why is my yogurt gone again? " "My brother scolded in his heart: your grandmother is a bear drop, and drinking some yogurt makes people die.

Eighth place

An uncle went to the People's Bank to withdraw money and went directly to the window. The security guard came over and said, "Grandpa, press the number." Grandpa: "What?" Security guard: "Press the number." Grandpa thought, this is a big bank, and it needs a secret code to withdraw money, so he whispered to the security guard, "The heavenly king covers the land." The security guard pressed a queue ticket for the old man helplessly. The old man thought: scared me to death, but I was right! !

Seventh place

A beautiful female colleague, her husband brought her lunch and left without saying anything.

The new male colleague asked: Who was that just now? She replied: take-away delivery. The newcomer asked again: Why didn't you give money? She said: no need to give it, just sleep with him at night. The male colleague was silent. The next day, she was brought a four-course and one-soup lunch, and the whole office burst into laughter. ...

sixth

A child asked his mother: Then why did you marry your father?

Mom said, "Mom was blind before she married your dad!" " "The child asked his father again: Why is our family so poor?

Dad said, "all the money in our family has been given to your mother to treat her eyes!" " "

Fifth place

There were so many people in the restaurant that a young couple couldn't find a seat, so they shared a table with me and sat opposite me. To tell the truth, that woman was really beautiful, so I took one more look and the man found it. He threw a Volkswagen key on the table to scare me. I looked carefully, I went to Phaeton ... I dropped a Maserati car key on the table, bang, bang, Bugatti, Rolls-Royce, and I dropped some car keys on the table.

fourth

Remittance to the bank, the car temporarily parked on the side of the road. I left my car with my friend for fear of being punished by the traffic police. I told him that a car inspector came to tell me. A few minutes later, the traffic police came. A friend rushed into the bank and shouted, Brother, the police are coming, let's go! Nima, dozens of people in such a big hall were silent for an instant, and then the crowd poured out of the bank like a flood, and then I was pinned to the ground by five or six security guards ... It's fucking unfair! Not afraid of opponents like gods, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

Three uncles autumn series

It snows heavily today. I just went out to watch an uncle fall. I went over and asked, grandpa, my salary is less than two thousand a month. Can I help you up? Grandpa: Go ahead, young man. I'll wait a little longer. Me: OK! Although the weather is cold, my uncle's words are warm and full of positive energy. ...

Walking on the road, I saw my uncle lying on the ground. I hurried forward to help him. My uncle looked at me and said, "Don't move after you are born. You are also a part-time job. I will wait until you leave. " I was very moved and quickly said, "Grandpa, there is a parked car driving a Land Rover." Grandpa is also very excited. "You are a real young man. You just don't leave and be my witness. After that, you can buy a car and drive to work. "

(3) Walking on the road, I saw an uncle lying on the ground. I hurried to lie down with him. The uncle looked at me and said, "Don't take my life in the future. My son wants to buy a house and marry. I said, I also want to buy a house and marry a wife, but I don't want to be old. Grandpa said that if you are successful in the future, you can have this land, and I will change it!

second

Chinese in primary schools is too difficult now. Look at one of their homework problems:

Requirements: Connect the following four sentences with related words:

(1) Sister Li is paralyzed;

(2) Sister Li studied tenaciously;

(3) Sister Li has learned many foreign languages;

(4) Sister Li learned acupuncture.

The correct answer should be: Sister Li is paralyzed, but she studies doggedly, not only learning many foreign languages, but also learning acupuncture. )

As a result, one child wrote: Although Sister Li stubbornly studied acupuncture and many foreign languages, she was still paralyzed.

Later, found more fierce children wrote:

Sister Li not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture. She studied so doggedly that she was finally paralyzed.

Sister Li was paralyzed, because she studied hard, and not only learned many foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture.

Sister Li studied very tenaciously, not only learned a lot of foreign languages and acupuncture, but also learned paralysis at last.

Sister Li has learned a lot of foreign languages, acupuncture and moxibustion, and is still stubbornly learning paralysis.

Wonderful is always at the end:

Sister Li learned a lot of foreign languages and acupuncture through tenacious study, and as a result, she paralyzed herself according to a foreign language version of acupuncture book!

first

I'm in trouble today.

There are several transparent shrimps in the fish tank in the office. The leader looked at them with glasses for a long time and asked me what I kept.

I said, "Shrimp!"

The leader was stunned and left. ......

I was also stunned and quickly explained loudly: "Shrimp boss! Draw shrimp! The leader is really shrimp! ! It's real shrimp!