Collecting jokes ... the funniest.

Americans, British, China and Japanese discuss their own military affairs together. The Japanese said, "We advocate Bushido and are not afraid of sacrifice. I dare you to test your marksmanship with an apple on your head. " So he put an apple on his head. The American turned and walked back 20 steps, then turned and shot, and the apple was smashed. He proudly said, "I am a hunter". The Japanese put another apple on his head. The Englishman turned and walked back 50 steps, then walked back with a gun, and the apple was blown off. He proudly said, "I am Boone (Bond)." The Japanese put a small apple on his head. The China man turned and walked back three steps, then walked back with a gun, and his head was blown off. He said proudly, "I'm sorry." An American, a Japanese and an China were exploring in the jungle. They were all caught by the cannibal tribe, but the tribal chief said, "I am in a good mood today, but you must all get a hundred boards, but you can realize a wish before you get the boards." Americans were the first to climb the springboard. He said, "Before taking the board, put 10 cushion on my ass." The mat board rained down on the front 70 boards, then the mat was smashed, and then the board was bleeding ... After the fight, the United States always left by touching its ass. The Japanese also asked for 10 mattress after seeing it, 1, 2, 3... 100. After the fight, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, and then bragged about their imitation ability and re-creation ability with their mouths open. I also want to sit and watch Chinese dramas. China squatted down slowly and said leisurely, "Come and put the Japanese on my mat, face up" ... A China man was traveling to England and walking in the street. Suddenly he was in a hurry and found a toilet. Everyone looked at him with strange eyes when he came out. When he looked back, it turned out that he was in a hurry to go to the wrong toilet and entered the ladies' room. At this moment, he thought that he could not insult China, so he turned and bowed to the toilet. At this time, people in the street said angrily, "Oh, Japanese!" A person traveling to ethnic minorities happens to catch up with the Water-splashing Festival there. So as soon as he entered the village, those people flocked to him. Then he stood alone and cursed those who threw him. A policeman came up to him and explained that the water-splashing festival is a tradition here. The more people throw it at you, the more welcome you are. The passenger said angrily, you think I am a fool. You pour boiling water at home! The prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's so fucking horrible ... 6 Happiness and sadness (I can travel to Africa) Sadness (I lost my plane ticket) Happiness (I found it again and got on the plane) Sadness (the plane met a cold air stream) Happiness (the parachute didn't open) Happiness (there was a grass stamp under the plane) Sadness (there was a steel fork on the grass stamp) Happiness (it didn't fall)! An China, an American and a Frenchman fell into the desert because of a plane crash. The three men have no hope of getting help, so they can only stumble forward in the desert. Suddenly, they found a bronze lamp. An impatient American grabbed the bronze lamp and rubbed it twice. A monster appeared. Monster: I have been sleeping for a thousand years, and now I can grant each of you three wishes. The American said anxiously, I'll go first. My first wish is that I want 1 ten thousand dollars. Bang, $ 654.38+0 million fell from the sky. The American thought for a moment and said, it's another $654.38 million+00,000. The monster satisfied him again. Americans are very satisfied: I am homesick, take me home. So the monster sent him and his dollar back to America. The French did not show weakness: it was my turn. First wish, I want a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman appeared in an instant. Frenchman: I also want a beautiful woman. The monster brought another beautiful woman out, and the French hugged me around: take me home. So the monster sent him and his two beautiful women back to France. Only China people are left, said China people slowly. Is it my turn? The genie said, yes, do you have any wishes? China people thought for a moment: Give me a whole bottle of Erguotou. So, a bottle of Erguotou fell from the sky. China people drank slowly, and then said: Not enough, bring the whole bottle of Erguotou. The monster satisfied him again. The monster said anxiously, when will you finish drinking slowly like this? Tell me your third wish! China people scratched their heads and thought about it. It's boring for me to drink alone. Let's get those two back. The monster was speechless. . . . . . In this way, the three men began their desert journey again. But they were lucky enough to meet a silver pot while walking. After two scratches, another monster appeared. Hello, I'm the brother of the magic lamp just now. My divine power is not as good as his, and I can only satisfy one person's two wishes. This is what Americans and French began to add up. American: "I was fine last time, but I was called back by that boy." It's really depressing What should I do this time? " Frenchman: "I was holding a beautiful woman at large and was brought back by that fool." I was depressed at the time, so let him speak first this time. " American: "Good. That's the decision, so as not to be called back by that idiot! " So, three people definitely let China people say their wishes first. Monster: "Say your wish, remember, there are only two." China people still looked listless and answered slowly: "Give me the whole bottle of Erguotou first." The monster satisfied him: "What's more, you have a wish. Go ahead. " China people had a good time, so they turned their heads and waved: "Yes. . . . . No more wishes. You can go now. " "Ok, goodbye." So the monster disappeared. It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao were flying together, and they suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did I find that there were only three parachute bags left on the plane. Everyone is nervous. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan, cleared his throat and said, "Well, the mountain man will jump if he answers a few questions, or jump himself if he can't answer them." Others have no choice but to agree. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought it was very simple and replied, "One." So I took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied: "One." He also took an umbrella bag and went down. Finally, it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Cao was puzzled and couldn't answer, so he had to jump himself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea and saved his life. Cao Cao secretly rejoiced. The second time, when four people met an emergency by plane, they still discussed it in the old way. Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "What was the battle when Zhou Wuwang defeated Zhou Wang?" Liu Bei thought simply and replied, "The Battle of Makino." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About 30,000 to 40,000." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down. Cao Cao couldn't help laughing and thinking, "Zhuge Liang, I know everything from ancient times to the present, especially the military." You fell this time. " Zhuge Liang asked, "What's the name of the soldier?" Cao Cao almost fainted when he heard this, so he had to jump himself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea again and saved his life. Cao Cao laughed to himself. The third time, the same four people flew, and the plane was in an emergency. Cao Cao thought about it, but Zhuge Raul tried to fool me again. I just jumped down myself to avoid being humiliated. So he jumped into the air at high speed and heard Zhuge Liang shout to him, "Meng De, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" " "