Absolutely classic funny phrases

1. Men are like houses, and they are still in demand when they increase their prices by changing hands, while women are like cars, and it is difficult to sell them at a discount when they change hands.

2. Unmarried men are rough houses. Work is location, appearance is room type, and economic condition is area size. Unmarried women are new cars, brand-new and beautiful. Birth is the brand, appearance is the model and quality is the engine power.

3. Men love cars and women love houses; Men don't plan to drive for life when they buy a car, but women plan to live for life when they buy a house; A good car makes men have face, and a good room makes women feel safe.

4. New cars make people reluctant to drive, and drivers are cautious; The new house is ready to be rebuilt by a sledgehammer at any time, and the decorators are bold;

5. When the new car leaves the store, it will be discounted immediately after driving, and the scraping is getting worse and worse, and the limelight is quickly overshadowed by the new car;

6. As the house gets older, the house becomes more and more classic. Even if you break the wall and break the doors and windows, it won't be fall in price. Catch up with the demolition and make a lot of money. A married man is a house that has been decorated by a woman. It is brand-new and has complete facilities. As long as the location is good, the value will be preserved and increased.

7. A married woman is an old car that has been driven by a man for 1, kilometers. At this time, the appearance of the model is no more beautiful than that of a new car, and a good engine is more important.

8. A well-decorated house is very attractive to women who don't have a house. There are always people who don't want to bother to decorate and want to live in vain. Brand-name cars are shiny even if they are old, so it is not surprising that some people are eager to come and have a look.

9. Divorced men are second-hand houses. These days, second-hand houses are more popular than newly opened houses. No matter how many times they change hands, they are definitely more expensive every time. The divorced woman is a used car, and she will be halved with one hand. After both hands, she will directly pull the scrap collection station.

1. When a second-hand house is available, most people will redecorate it; When you get a used car, you usually feel uncomfortable.

11. For divorced men, it is a wise choice to find a woman who doesn't plan to rebuild you. For divorced women, finding a man who is gentle and considerate and doesn't step on the gas pedal is the support for the rest of her life!

12. Happiness is not how big the house is, but how sweet the laughter is in the room; Happiness is not how luxurious a car you can drive, but how safe it is to drive home; Happiness is not how beautiful the lover is, but how bright the lover smiles; Happiness is not how many sweet words you listen to, but when you are sad, someone can say to me: I am fine!

13. Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus.

14. People can't lower their noble heads, except when picking up money.

15. There is a kind of person who only does two things: you are successful and he is jealous of you; You failed and he laughed at you.

16. At that time, I was looking up information with my girlfriend, and suddenly a window popped up. It was very yellow and violent. Let's turn off the light quickly.

17. If people live by eating, that meal is not called rice, but called feed.

18. Flowers often belong to cow dung instead of people who appreciate them.

19. Now, those who can earn 2 Jin of pork a month are barely white-collar.

2. I am so beautiful that I can't die.

21. The younger brother described the sanitation of his dormitory-"I don't want to open my eyes when I go back to the dormitory! ! ！”

22. Roses are so cheap that you can give them to your wife.

23. It's no use running on the wrong road.

24. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 1 ml of lard.

25. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.

26. Fat people are attractive only when there are many thin people.

27. Fairy tales are beautiful because they are what children say.

28. Life is so beautiful, but I am so grumpy, which is not good, not good!

29. Brother looks so abstract that it is still spring. What are you afraid of?

3. Can a talented man like us be handsome?

31. Girl, you know not only the world, but also globalization! But girl, you must never dominate!

32. If my sister becomes crazy one day, please tell others that it's

33. Time flies, and it gets dark as soon as I get up.

34. Apprentices who don't want to betray their teachers are all incompetent disciples.

35. My biggest dream: I can go to heaven alive.

36. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.

37. You are a bird, but you really think you can fly.

38. If you are sensible, I will treat you to steamed bread. If you are not sensible, you will be treated with a fist.

39. If you are blessed with a pair of wings, you should be braised in brown sauce ...

4. Wages are dead. If you want them to be worthy of going to work, you have to go to work less.

41. If you can do it, try not to make any noise.

42. Don't tell ghost stories at night, because people love to listen and ghosts love to listen.