Ask for six English jokes

I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed that a man seemed to be asleep and worried that he would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" "

"I didn't fall asleep," the man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed. "

"I know. I just hate to see ladies standing next to me in crowded cars. "

I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, all the seats on the bus were taken. The conductor noticed that a person seemed to be asleep. He was worried that the man would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" " "

"I didn't fall asleep." The man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed? "

"I know, I just don't want to see a lady standing next to me in a crowded car."

Second,

Poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is to get along with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question and then answered it herself. Then she explained to me why my answer was wrong for half an hour.

Poor husband

"You have no idea how difficult it is to deal with my wife," a man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question, then answered it herself, and then spent half an hour explaining to me why my answer was wrong."

Third,

Smart housewife.

A smart housewife heard that there is a kind of stove that can save half the coal compared with the one she is using now. She was very excited and said, "That's great! Since one stove can save half of the coal, I won't need coal if I buy two! "

A shrewd housewife

A smart housewife heard that there is a kind of stove that can save half of the coal compared with the one she is using now. She was very excited and said, "Great! One stove can save half of the coal, so I can save all the coal if I buy two stoves? "

Fourth,

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

The little boy doesn't like the appearance of barking dogs.

"Never mind," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: barking dogs don't bite? "

"Ah, yes," the little boy replied. "I know this proverb, but does the dog also know this proverb?"

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

A little boy dislikes the way dogs bark very much.

"Never mind," said a gentleman. "Don't be afraid. Do you know the proverb: "Barking dogs don't bite." "

"Oh, I know, but does the dog know?"

Five,

Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful pictures.

"Look," said my brother. "How beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where is the father? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing."

Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful oil paintings.

"Look," said my brother, "how beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where did dad go? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing these pictures."

6. Only cash and credit cards are accepted

When a man calls a motel and asks how much they charge.

A room, the clerk told him, the cost depends on the size of the room and the number of people.

"Do you take care of children?" The man asked.

"No, sir," the clerk replied. "Only cash and credit cards are accepted."

Only cash and credit cards.

A man called a motel to ask about the rent, and the hotel staff replied that the rent depends on the size of the room and the number of guests.

"Does a child count?" The man asked.

"Not exactly, sir." The waiter replied, "We only count cash and credit cards."