Funny humorous jokes

A collection of interesting humorous jokes

Funny humorous joke: I quarreled with my wife the day before, took the bus to work the next day, took out my wallet and saw that the bus card became an ID card. I quickly rummaged through my pockets for change. After searching for a long time, I saw a piece of paper that read:? There are two dollars under your insole! This is a warning! ?

Funny jokes (1) 1. Once, little John secretly said to his father, Dad, I want to have a word with you. ? Go! ? Dad replied. ? I don't think a mother can take good care of her children. ? how do you know Dad asked in surprise. ? I've experienced it myself. John said? When I don't want to sleep, my mother insists that I sleep; When I was fast asleep, she woke me up again. ?

During the summer vacation, the 5-year-old baby wants to write a letter to his kindergarten child Beibei.

Ask dad for a pen and paper.

? Dear baby, how can you write to others if you can't read? Dad strangely

Ask.

? What are you afraid of? Beibei can't read anyway! ? The baby is confident, he said.

3. Yao, an English child, said: The king put a sword on my grandfather's head and he became a duke! ?

Not to be outdone, American children said, What's so strange about that? The Indian put an axe on my grandfather's head and he became an angel! ?

4. Mom and Dad want to know the future ideal of Longlong and ask: Longlong, you want to be when you grow up.

What kind of person?

Longlong replied:? If I grow up, I will drive a train; such as

If I grow up to be a woman, then I will be a conductor. ?

Funny jokes (2) 1. Male colleagues flirt with fat female colleagues.

Man:? You were born at the wrong age. If you were born in wartime, you will have a great future. ?

Woman:? You mean I'm fit to be a soldier?

Man:? Yes, it is suitable for plugging gun holes on the battlefield. ?

I bought cigarettes in the canteen, and it was raining outside.

A young man and woman quarreled. Listen, maybe the woman was late for the date and the man was caught in the rain for an hour.

Noisy, the woman suddenly rushed into the canteen, opened the freezer, took out a bottle of mineral water, unscrewed the lid, fell on her head and said to the man, are you satisfied now?

Everyone was shocked, and the man hurried forward, apologizing and coaxing. In a short time, the two made up again and left with their arms around them.

? Hey! Two pieces of mineral water ? Cried the shopkeeper.

When I was in math class in primary school, the teacher was talking. I have no choice. I raised my hand and said, teacher, I want to go to the bathroom! ? The teacher looked disgusted and said: Go ahead, go ahead! ? I hurried out and went to the back door, found my shoelaces open, and squatted down to tie them. The teacher rushed over and said with a frightened face? Do not pull here! ? I didn't pull! ? The class laughed?

When I was a child, I liked to eat dried longan, but my grandmother wouldn't let me eat it. I said only people who are dizzy can eat longan, otherwise they will become stupid, so every time I steal to eat, I will turn around ten times to make myself dizzy. Now I think it's tears!

5.？ I met my uncle's salty pig hand on the bus, and my uncle was between landlords. My uncle's hand was on my sister's little ass, and my sister didn't dare to make any noise. So the landlord sang directly with headphones: betray my love and go behind my back. . Open. . . Really attracted the attention of the whole car. Uncle, nothing happened! Sister, I can only have the cheek to help you get here. ?

My cousin said that she would marry Kai Ko when she grew up. I can only smile. I silently feel that children are always innocent, but these are stupid and impossible dreams. I believe that as she grows older, she will gradually understand these truths. Are you kidding? I am the one who wants to marry Kai Ko.

Funny humorous jokes (3) 1. When I was a child, I liked a poem: "Don't insult me, watch the flowers bloom in front of the court." When I grow up, I understand it more deeply. If I had such a villa with a garden, I would be ashamed.

My husband came back from the classmate's wedding and sat on the sofa, looking very unhappy. He asked, what's wrong?

Husband; Don't mention it. When the bride makes a toast, when the other people and the groom introduce me, they all call my brother and sister hello. It's no use introducing me. Directly calling his uncle also turned to complain about how to arrange the elders to sit at the classmate's table!

3. Senior one, the teacher said: This society can't just look at faces, and ugly grades are generally good.

Then the son of a bitch pointed to Lao Tzu and said, I think this young man must be top-notch. . .

Haha, teacher, you are so humorous!

Today, my mother suddenly called me and said, Have you worn stockings these days?

I said, yes, I bought two the day before yesterday and left one at home.

Mom: Oh, yes, or your father won't survive tonight. ....

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