A joke to prevent drowsiness

1. Dad asked Xiaoming to buy wine and told him to halve it no matter what the boss said. Xiao Ming: "Boss, how much is this wine?" Boss: "80", Xiaoming said "no, 40", boss said "60", Xiaoming said "no, 30", boss said "then 40" and Xiaoming said "no, 20".

The boss was furious. "I'll give it to you for free." Xiao Ming said, "No, I have to give you two bottles."

Secondly, when I was just with my girlfriend, she said that she liked drama. I asked her what kind of drama she liked, but she wouldn't tell me. Until one day I saw her plain photo, I asked her if she liked Sichuan opera, and she said, how do you know? I said I'm not blind. You look like a face-changing enthusiast.

Third, the Chinese teacher in junior high school emphasizes that mobile phones are not allowed to be brought in class, otherwise they will be confiscated. Today, I finally got angry. A * * * confiscated six mobile phones and went to the podium to smash seven mobile phones in front of the whole class.

Four, since the winter, I have gained a lot of weight, and it is too cold outside to go out for exercise. I discussed with my daughter-in-law about buying a treadmill. Daughter-in-law said to let her think about it and went out. After the meeting, she came back and excitedly took me to see the latest treadmill. I happily followed her out of the door!

My daughter-in-law took me to the elevator in the mall and said excitedly, honey, come and try. This is the elevator that comes down. You run for an hour every day, which is more effective than the treadmill!

Friends are often punished by their wives and arrested by me. I told his wife that when you treat your husband like this, he loses face as a man, and I look down on him a little. His wife nodded thoughtfully. Later, he installed a shrine at home, and his husband was very devout. Every time he worshipped God, it took a long time.

6. It is popular to say that it is useless to go to school. What I want to say is that everything you learn at school is useful. Even if the school punishes you, you will benefit for life. For example, when I was at school, I was often punished. Now, I am a security guard, and I am not tired when I stand every day!

7. A drunk went to the ATM downstairs to get his salary, but his card was "swallowed" by the ATM. I saw the drunk pouring wine into the ATM in no hurry. The man next to him asked, "Why did you pour wine into it?" The drunk laughed: "Drink … too much, and it will spit it out!" " "

8. After the final exam, ask your daughter how she did in the exam. A face of contempt: "I hate you adults the most. Those who have been taking exams all day have been chanting from this exam to the next exam. " The exam is my own business, not yours. "Hum, see you a face of justly. At first glance, you just didn't do well in the exam. Don't worry if you do well in the exam next time.

One day, several good friends met in the street. They came to the restaurant together, ordered food, and suddenly didn't want to pay. One of them said that we all use our own surnames to say this dish. You can eat what you say right, and you can't eat what you can't say. You have to pay. Everyone else said yes.

The waiter brought the food up. Jiang said first that I was a fisherman, and then I brought the fish. The surname Huang said that I was a weasel stealing chicken, and then I brought the chicken. Qin said I was Qin Shihuang who annexed six countries, and then I took all the rest.

As a result, there was only one surnamed Sun. When he saw that he didn't have to eat and had to pay, he said I was messing with the Monkey King, and then he lifted the table.

I just got a strange phone call. I: How do you do? Over there: Hello? Me: Who are you? Over there: Don't ask me who I am, please meet me. Damn, I was nervous, so I hung up. Less than 10 second, the goods are powered on again. I hesitated to pick it up and scolded. Over there: You have a courier, and I'm downstairs.