Zhihu How to slow down feelings

Love is always a prudent matter. You should not just randomly pick someone to decide your life-long affairs, nor should you invest yourself with enthusiasm before you fully understand the other person at the beginning. These are all An irresponsible attitude toward oneself.

Although procrastination is not good emotionally, being eager for quick success may bring greater side effects.

I miss the feelings of my youth very much. At that time, if I liked someone, I would smile with satisfaction just by seeing him or feel his eyes, and I would feel a little joy in my heart.

Sometimes you will silently like someone for months or even years, secretly trying to understand his temper and preferences without any purpose, even if the other person doesn't care about you, you are still happy with it. .

However, as they grow older, most people slowly change.

My colleague’s sister had a passionate love affair. When her boyfriend was pursuing her, he would give her a bouquet of flowers every day. Not only would he pick her up in the morning and deliver them in the evening, he would also arrange candlelight dinners from time to time, and he would even talk to her casually about their eternal love.

Under such an offensive, my sister surrendered and accepted this love in just twenty days.

But then my boyfriend made a further request: We are already a couple, so we can move in together to take care of you.

My sister was advised by her family not to be gullible, but she couldn't resist her boyfriend's hard work, and the two began living together.

The first days are indeed as sweet as honey, after all, we are in the fresh period of love. My sister felt that she was extremely lucky to have met the best man in the world. She even thought about their wedding and the happy time of the family after their marriage.

However, the good times only lasted for half a year, and the boyfriend started slacking off. He spent most of the time sitting in front of the computer playing games. Even when his sister was sick, the boyfriend never left his phone, and even after all the drippings, he still Had a great time chatting.

Later, my sister discovered that her boyfriend had flirted with a girl in the game. The love between the two was no less intense than when her boyfriend was chasing her. My sister couldn’t understand why they were so in love with each other, but he was so in love with her. Falling in love with another woman.

She blamed him, but he made no secret of it: Let’s break up, I’m in love with someone else.

My sister can’t understand. He was the one who chased me first. Why was he ready to retreat at any time after I gave him my whole heart? Are all the men in this world liars who deceive girls? After going to bed, I gave up.

Situations like my sister's are not unique. Many girls don't understand why their sincerity is always let down by scumbag men, and they even doubt that there is no true love in the world.

But that’s not the case. It’s just that I was too anxious about love, which gave men an opportunity. Some men often chase girls as fast as they can to show off their charm. This is human nature.

The faster your relationship with a man develops, the easier it is for you to meet a scumbag.

Only those who are willing to establish a long-term relationship with you may truly cherish you.

Because people who truly love you will respect your thoughts and give you more consideration, rather than just looking for temporary pleasure.

Although everything in this era is about efficiency, it is not a bad thing if love develops slowly.

Never think that if you miss this person, you may miss true love. Relationships are really not like this. The more eager you are for quick success and quick gain, the more casual and unappreciative the other party will be towards you.

In fact, it may not be a good thing for you, because what you see is only the appearance, and you do not really understand the other person's true side and personality.

If the relationship develops too fast, it is possible that the love you fall in love with is just an appearance. Only when the truest parts of you are exposed when you are together will you realize that it is not true love at all.

Love, as slowly as possible.

Because only in this way can you see your true inner needs and discover whether the other person is worth it.

For the person who loves you, even if you confess your love later, he will not take this opportunity to choose to be with someone else.

A scumbag is always afraid that relationships will develop too slowly and always feels that the progress is not fast enough because he is unwilling to give you a chance to think.

If you are not fooled by him, he will gradually lose patience and turn around to find other targets.

So let your feelings slow down, and you will understand the other person's true purpose. Does he really love you, or is he just trying to deceive you from the beginning.

The more anxious you are to invest, the more you care too much about the other person, which gives him an opportunity to take advantage of.

So accepting a person slowly is not to test him deliberately, but to give yourself the opportunity to sort out the true feelings and falsehoods.

If you want to meet true love, you must maintain this mentality.

Otherwise, when a moth flies into a flame, you can only hurt yourself.