Sincerely asking for a joke that can make a group of people laugh. High reward! ! !

1. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked: "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?" The uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can I leave it for your aunt?" A pair of underpants

2. Wife’s Quotes: You are allowed to get drunk, and you are allowed to hook up with girls, but you must return to my team at night. If you dare to break my heart or hurt my lungs, I will definitely give you your first Three legs will be disabled and your bird will be dozed off forever.

3. Two dumplings got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was shocked and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly: I hate it, you don’t recognize people when they take off their clothes!

4. Two old couples had a sudden idea when they were having dinner one day: eat naked! Find out what it felt like before! After taking off their clothes The old woman said: I am still responding! My breasts are still as hot as when I was young! The old man glanced sideways and said: They drooped into the soup!

5. Four mice brag: A: I take mice every day Take the medicine as candy; B: I don’t step on mice and pinch my feet for a day; C: I don’t feel safe on the street only a few times a day; D: It’s getting late, let’s go home and pick up the cat.

6. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of what a man says is true; love is eternal, blood is bright red, and a man cannot survive without fighting; if a man is rich, , and everyone is destined, a man can be relied upon, and a pig can climb a tree.

7. A group of ants climbed onto the elephant's back, but were shaken off. Only one ant held on to the elephant's neck tightly. The ants below shouted: strangle him to death. Choke him to death, you damn boy!

8. The child stole the parrot from the brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot screamed: "Moving!" When he saw his mother, he screamed: "The boss has changed too." La! When he saw his sister, he yelled: "The lady has changed too!" When he saw his father, he yelled: "Damn, I'm still a regular customer!"

9. Life is a long road, who can take a few steps forward! The family needs to be taken care of, and so does the lover. Place! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a good-looking person sitting across the table, and someone I miss in the distance! Keep two, keep one, and develop three, four, five, six, seven!

10 .A puppy climbed up on your dining table and crawled towards a roasted chicken. You said angrily: "I will do whatever you dare to do to that roasted chicken." As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's butt. You Fainted, the puppy said happily: Let's see who is cruel.

11. Legend has it that tonight, ghosts linger, the dead light appears again, and ghosts wander around! May the ghost hear my call and come to your bedside in the middle of the night, with a pale face and green eyes, I touch your face with my dry hands and say to you: Good night!

12. A man always smiles and his eyes sparkle. He is either a sick person or a swindler! Women have enlarged breasts and slim waists. If you are slutty and coquettish, I will either take out your pocket or put a black knife on you! In these days of male and female monsters, be careful!

13. You are walking on the road, and a bitch pounces on you and grabs you from your feet. He bit a piece of meat and swallowed it quickly. When you stretched your foot and was about to kick it, the dog said with tears: Go ahead, I already have your flesh and blood in my belly!

14. The mouse was very depressed without a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess after all.

15. A friend asked the bat how he could marry a mouse. The bat had tears in his eyes and said meaningfully: Alas! He took Viagra that day and had strong firepower. He jumped up to the ceiling and let him win.

16. I spend a dime to send you this text message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime text message is my birthday gift to you.

17. The ant is lying lazily in the soil with one leg stretched out. Your friend asks you what you are doing? Ant: The elephant will come later, trip him up.

18. When a magpie comes, mother says it is a happy bird and a guest; when a swallow comes, mother says it is a beneficial bird and a guest; when a crow comes, the child asks, are you also a guest? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker!

19. A beautiful woman found that her lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road.

An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time, and suddenly realized, he caught up and said: Girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

20. Cucumber cried bitterly in love, and Eggplant comforted her: love is not only sweet, but also intoxicating. And heartbreak, and tears. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions?

21. Yesterday I dreamed that God said he could grant me a wish. I took out a globe and said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to change to another one. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to become beautiful, and he After thinking for a while, he said, "I'll take a look at the globe."

22. A girl is so ugly that she cannot marry and hopes to be trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: Let’s go, I don’t want the car.

23. Twenty years ago, your father held you while you waited for the car. People laughed at your child because he was ugly, and your father cried. An old man selling bananas patted my father and said, "Brother, don't cry. Give the monkey a banana! It's so pitiful. It's so hungry that it loses its hair."

24. On the plane, a man A parrot said to the stewardess: "Bring me a glass of water." The pig also imitated the parrot and said to the stewardess: "Bring me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw both the parrot and the pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig: "You are stupid, I can fly."

25. An old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew over and dropped some shit on the old farmer's face. , the old farmer raised his head and cursed: "You don't know how to wear underpants when you go out!" The crow said: "You are wearing underpants when you are shitting!" v

26. Xiao Ming told his mother that when guests came to play at home today, , my brother put a thumbtack on the guest's chair, and I saw it. Mom said: "Then what did you do?" Xiao Ming said: "I stood aside, and when the guest was about to sit down, I took the chair away from behind him."

27. A conversation on a crowded bus one day was as follows: A standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to her: "Don't you know I'm pregnant?" "(I want him to give up his seat...) I saw the man saying nervously: "The child is not mine!"

28. It's just a gust of wind, but it's so eternal, just a gust of wind. It’s just a dream, but it’s so real. You lower your head and say nothing, but I can’t calm down. I finally can’t help but say to you: next time you fart, say it!

29. A pair of lovers in the mountains The savage caught him and said, "You eat each other's shit and I'll let you go." The lover did it, and the woman cried loudly on the way back. The man asked why, and the woman sadly said: You don’t love me, otherwise you wouldn’t have done so much!

30. Still remember the first time in junior high school in the woods? Military training? The coach said to the students: The first row will count! You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly again: Count. So, you reluctantly turned around and hugged the tree!