Joke Daquan laughs your stomach out.

1. A girl gave birth to a daughter. Please help us think of a good name!

A：? Light? This word is excellent, fire and water intersect and yin and yang help each other, but it is indifferent in the depths!

B: what if her father's last name? Ji? What should we do?

C: what if her father's last name? Hey? What should we do?

this woman is furious: get out of here, my husband's last name is Cao!

2. Local tyrant: Boss Wang (Jianlin), I earn tens of millions every year. I am already rich, but I am not happy at all. Can you tell me what to do?

Boss Wang didn't say anything, but took the local tyrant to a large open space.

The local tyrant suddenly realized: Did Boss Wang let me relax and calm down?

boss Wang: no, I mean your little BMW is parked on my airstrip, blocking me from going out for dinner!

3. When I went to mail something today, the assistant of logistics asked, Girl, are you a big item or a small item?

I was angry at the bird on the spot. Can you speak? You are a bitch! Your whole family are bitches!

4. Take the bus today! A beautiful woman in front of me got on the bus and said to the driver: I don't have any money with me. Can I kiss you as a coin? ? The master said yes. The beauty kissed the driver and sat down.

I saw it clearly in the back. I kissed the driver without saying anything, and then said I didn't have any money.

The driver's master cried with fear and said, Nima, that was my daughter-in-law joking with me just now!

5. A girl went to buy a bathing suit. After trying it on, it was a little big.

The boss said: It's okay. I'll get close to you when I get in the water. ?

the girl said: I'm going to the seaside. What if the swimsuit falls off in case of a big wave? ?

the boss said? We're of good quality, so you're fine! ?

6. I had a big fight with my husband!

Husband: Look at you, you are so angry that you are blushing like an apple!

I thought he had a conscience and wanted to apologize, so I just heard him say, What an ungrateful look!

damn it, I'll fight with you!

7. I was bored in bed with my husband in the morning. I said to him: My husband looked at me and said I was beautiful!

My husband closed his eyes and said, You are so beautiful!

I asked, why don't you look at me and say?

he said: I can't lie with my eyes open!

8. I am slightly fat. Today, my husband and I are going to a friend's house for dinner. I passed by the train station. I deliberately pretended to have amnesia and asked my husband: Who are you and where are you taking me?

My husband looked at me and said, Take you to a fun place.

I said, are you going to kidnap me?

The husband said: Yes, how do you know?

I proudly asked: How much are you going to sell me?

My husband smiled and said, That's a weight to weigh!

Sister Ni, I promise I won't kill you ~

9. Wife:? Look, another mosquito has been killed. Why does this mosquito like to stare at me? ?

my husband laughed. It is in a daze, such a big fat and tender meat, where has it never been eaten? ! ?

? Go away! . . . ?

1. When a pregnant woman got on the bus, no one offered her seat. As a college student, I have to show my quality and then take out a book and read it with my head down.

11. The mirror in my bathroom may be a magic mirror. The proof is that when I first took a shower, I asked it: Tell me, who is the most handsome man in the world? ? My face appeared directly in the mirror.

12. It's 3: 5 in the morning. At 2: 3, the water pipe at home burst, and the water overflowed my ankle. Sister, it took me ten minutes to fix it, and I have insomnia until now? |

I want to say, in fact, if it's important to have a boyfriend, can you pass me the wrench?

13. I met my old classmate last night. I didn't expect him to be so poor. He only put one yuan into my bowl!

14. You spent 6 yuan on a mobile phone to prove that you are a local tyrant. You might as well give me 2 yuan. I praise you as a local tyrant on the post every day. It's worth it. Please contact me!

15. I think young people should try harder. Don't hold back just because there is danger ahead. It won't achieve much, and they will regret it when they get old.

Pol.ice said: Is that why you ran the red light?