How to view and deal with long-distance relationships?

I have experienced it, but the sadness and helplessness are different.

First, the embarrassment of "seemingly not there"

There was once a well-known and popular cross talk joke "Throwing Boots", which everyone must be familiar with, even though it is a joke , but from another aspect and perspective, it reflects that a person will accept the reality and be content with the situation in the realistic environment that he has already recognized, but he is most afraid of waiting and expecting that the expectations cannot be realized and implemented. This is the most uncomfortable and most painful time. Torturous.

Using this phenomenon to describe the state of long-distance relationships is appropriate. Take singles as an example. They are very clear and understanding of their current situation. They have a clear understanding of everything that happens between lovers and whether they can realize it. It can be viewed correctly. For those lovers who are in the same place, it goes without saying and is logical. But this is not the case for long-distance relationships. I clearly have a partner, but I always pretend to have a partner. Living a single life, I have expectations, thoughts, and comparisons in my heart, but I can't realize it. It's like waiting for that one. As distressed and depressed as the "boots" that have not landed. For example, I see other couples coming and going in pairs, following each other like shadows, and I should be like this, but why am I alone and lonely? When I meet other lovers clinging to each other, loving each other, showing off their sweetness and affection, I can also do this , but the fact is that they are inseparable and cannot have each other. It is embarrassing and awkward to watch others "spread dog food" in front of their faces.

When you see other couples spending time together, happy and romantic, you can also have such fun, but you have no idea what to do when you are alone; on festivals, birthdays, etc. On anniversaries, people and loved ones stay by their side unshakably, partying, sending gifts, and being courteous. I can do these things and have them, but they can only be received through text messages with incomprehensible tone or phone calls without expression. In the video, you can only see a dull, slightly dull, deformed face, boring to spend time, etc.

Every time I see these scenes, there will be thousands of blows and injuries raging through my heart, mercilessly stabbing the lonely heart of a long-distance lover staying alone in an empty house, and suffering many painful impacts. Some people say that being single is not sad. On the contrary, the most sad thing is the long-distance lovers who pretend to be singles and live a single life. This is not true at all. Pass.

Second, the pain of "being unable to help"

There is a sentence on the Internet that describes the sadness of long-distance relationships, which is "Don't cry, I can't hold you." This sentence makes While making people cry, it also vividly describes and portrays the situation of long-distance love. For ordinary lovers, the two of them stick together whenever they have leisure and free time. They understand all the joys, sorrows, joys and sorrows, the sweetness and bitterness, the cold, warmth, hunger and fullness. In short, the needs of one party will be met by the other party in every possible way. But long-distance lovers are out of reach, and the needs of each other are beyond the reach and help of the other. For example, when you feel lonely and long for the company of your lover, for ordinary lovers, it is not a problem at all, but for long-distance relationships, it is always a helpless luxury. When you are happy, most couples will share it together, doubling the happiness. , even if you are happy and overjoyed in a long-distance relationship, the other person has no feelings at all. You can only describe it on your computer and mobile phone, and you can't see the other person's expression. Even in the video, it doesn't have the feeling of being face to face in front of you. . When your life or work is not going well, and you are full of grievances and sorrows, no matter you look depressed or burst into tears, if you are an ordinary lover, they will stay by your side, maybe just hand you a tissue, wipe your tears or pat your shoulder. Small gestures, maybe just hugging you or hugging you, can clear away the clouds and make you feel at ease, making you feel warm and relieved. What about long-distance love? It can only be when you tell the other person that you are sad, it is just boring, pale, repetitive and ineffective consolation from the computer or mobile phone. There may even appear like someone said, "I am typing in tears, but you still think I am." Laugh" like that.

When you are not feeling well, or even bedridden and need someone to take care of you, a normal couple will stay by your side, busy around, running around, asking for medical advice, bringing water and meals, and don't have sex. , what about long-distance love? Either the other person doesn't know that you're uncomfortable at all, and even mistakenly thinks that you're absent-minded. Even if you tell the other person that you're sick, you'll always get the same old words: "Ah, that's it, then you should pay more attention to rest and drink more water!", "You!" "Take care of yourself", there is no other way, etc. All these things, as long as lovers share things together, they will always be helpless, and care, warmth and care are even more powerless. This kind of regret, The pain of loss and helplessness will always accompany long-distance lovers.

Third, the tangle of "concerns"

In many cases, distance will not only affect people's closeness, but also reduce and weaken the trust between people. Ordinary lovers get along day and night, bowing their heads. We see each other without looking up, we know each other's roots and every move, we know each other and love each other through frequent exchanges, and our relationship is close and harmonious. Long-distance relationships are separated in two places. There is no way to know or control the other person's words, deeds, and actions, and they are alone most of the time. They are far from the sense of solidity and security that couples have when they are together. Thinking of the intolerance of loneliness and the temptation of the outside world, it makes They spend most of their time thinking wildly, making random assumptions and suspicions, and are always worried about their relationship. For example, you will often guess what the other person is doing and what state he is in. Once the other person explains it, you will worry about its authenticity and reliability, and whether it is deception or deception. At a certain period of time, when you are busy at work and neglect to contact you, you will start to think about whether the other person has an affair. In the heart, one side is worried that the other side cannot bear loneliness and loneliness, and the other side is worried that the other side cannot resist temptation and seduction. When you see the emotions of the people around you changing, you will worry about whether you are not around and the "position" there is empty, and whether others will launch an "attack" and take it down in one fell swoop; when you wait hard and remain determined, you will worry about whether the other person's true feelings remain the same. Are you ready to look forward to the future with others? You are infatuated with each other in a foreign country, longing for each other from afar, worrying about whether the other person has been "close to you" by others, and getting the "moon" first; when love has not yet come to fruition, facing an uncertain future, worrying about whether Choose and start again. Even if two people love desperately and distance and space are not a problem, they will always worry about where they will go in the future, where they will settle down, how to deal with various life problems in the two places in the future, etc. In a word, due to the lack of mutuality When you are with someone, you will always feel unsteady, thinking left and right, thinking before and after, which often makes you fall into a tangled state full of worries, unable to extricate yourself, and miserable. Each of these aspects of long-distance love is sad and helpless.

Alas! What a sad long-distance relationship!