Ask for funny jokes! !

1. Four tragedies in life: long drought meets rain; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating a gold medal, dream.

4. How did you ride yesterday? Not too bad. The problem is that my horse is popular. A: How kind of you? B: Yes. When I rode to the fence, it let me pass first!

6. Fart is the residual gas in the abdomen, so there is no reason not to let it go. This gas swims around and always comes out. Those who let go are proud, and those who hear are depressed!

1 1. The mother advised her daughter to marry a rich old man, and her daughter shouted excitedly: I won't marry that man, he is too old! Mother comforted: What does it matter? We're not cooking!

12. A farmer's daughter was so ugly that she had to be a scarecrow in the corn field. As a result, not only did she scare away the crows, but even three crows were scared to send some corn back.

Title: Original

The child wrote: It turns out that he is my father.

Teacher's comment: Mom cares.

Make sentences as usual

Title: (Tree, Tree) I will plant you.

The child wrote: (Tangyuan Tangyuan) I will eat you (eat).

Teacher's comment: How cute ~ ~

3. Title: ... During ... ........................

The child wrote: He undressed and put on pants at the same time.

Teacher's comment: Does he want to take it off or wear it ~ ~

4. Title: textbooks

Children write: class is boring.

Teacher's comment: concentrate in class.

5. theme: popularity

Children write: I like bananas very much.

Teacher's comment: Be careful not to choke.

6. Title: Once upon a time

The children wrote: Xiaoming came in through the front door.

7. Title: Innocence

The child wrote: It's really hot today.

Teacher's comment: You are so naive ~ ~

8. Title: Ten points

The child wrote: I got a ten today.

Teacher's comment: I'll tell your parents ~ ~

9. Title: Among them

Children write: My left foot is hurt.

Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede? ~~

10. Title: 1 .......

Children write: a doll 100 yuan.

Teacher's comment: The teacher laughed to death.

1 1. Title: Look.

The child wrote: What are you looking at? Never seen it!

12. Make sentences as usual. Example: You (singing) and I (dancing)

Children write: you (good) me (good)

Teacher's comment: Are you writing an English translation?

13. Make sentences as usual. Ex.: People praise me (), but actually I ().

Children write: others praise me (very handsome), in fact, I (wear a mask)

Teacher's comment: What mask is so easy to use?

14. Title: Good ... Good again. ..

The child wrote: Mom's legs are so thin and thick. ...

Teacher's comment: Is it thin or thick?

15. topic: one by one

The child wrote: After work, my father came back one after another.

Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?

16. Theme: First ... then. ...

Example: Eat first, then take a bath.

Children write: goodbye, sir!

17. Title: Tianya Haijiao

The child wrote: My sister ran to the ends of the earth.

Teacher's comment: Your sister can really run ~ ~

18. Title: Forever.

Children write: I drew a straight line.

Teacher's comments: ................

19. Subject: Right away

Children write: I am riding a horse.

Teacher's comment: Come to the teacher right away!

20. Title: rawhide

The child wrote: On the night of the power outage, it was dark everywhere, and I was so scared that my skin was raw!

Teacher's comment: Seeing this sentence ... the teacher appreciates you very much. .

2 1. Title: Prosperity-a metaphor for beautiful growth.

The child wrote: My brother is thriving.

Teacher's comment: Son, is your brother a vegetable? ...

There is also a blind man. ...

Children write: bustling confession.

Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many soap operas ~ ~

22. Title: Thank you ... because ......

The child wrote: I want to thank my mother because she helps me with my homework every day. ......

Teacher's comment: Your homework was written by your mother! ! ! ! ! ! !

23. Theme: Sadness

The child wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house, so sad.

Teacher's comment: The teacher is even sadder. ......

24. Title: If

Children write: Don't drink juice if it tastes bad.

Teacher's comment: Orz .....

25. Title: Simple

Children write: The cake is crisp and delicious.

Teacher's comment: (speechless) .......... =. =

26. title: genius

The child wrote: I take a bath every three days.

Teacher's comment: I have to wash it every day to be clean ~ ~

27. Title: 1 … Toilet …

The child wrote: As soon as I walked out of the gate, there was a convenience store opposite.

Teacher's comment: Don't make random sentences. ...

28. Title: Although ......

The child wrote: there is someone on the left and someone on the right.

29. Title: Very

The child wrote: I don't know what very means.

Teacher's comment: I don't know what to ask. ....

30. Title: Because ......

The child wrote: I was born in this world because of my parents.

Teacher's comment: Deduct 5 points ....

3 1. Title: Again ... Here we go. .....

Children write: My mother is short, tall, thin and fat.

Teacher's comment: Where is your mother ... a monster?

32 guoran

The children in the class said: I ate fruit yesterday and then drank cold water.

Teacher: This is a phrase. You can't make sentences alone.

The children added: teacher, I'm not finished yet. Sure enough, I have diarrhea at night!

Teacher: ........

33 carve up

Child: A big fool can't tell right from wrong.

Teacher: Even a little fool can't tell the difference.

34 delicious

Children: What a sweet fart.

Teacher: .......

In addition,

Child: A train passes by, besides, besides. ......

Teacher: ........

I received a phone call I didn't know yesterday, with a southern accent. I'll call you by your first name when I come up!

"Mr. Wang, ah!"

"Who are you?"

"Your old friend."

"Who is it?"

"Old friend of Guangdong, don't you even recognize my voice?"

"And you are?"

"Oh, Mr. Wang, you are so forgetful!"

I'm really stumped by this question. I can't remember my voice, so I exchanged pleasantries for a long time. The other party just didn't say the name. Finally, I got impatient. "Forget it." I hung up the phone.

Then I felt something was wrong. Maybe he's a liar. If I recognize the voice of the other party as an old friend, the other party will try to tell stories to cheat money.

I dialed back the number shown just now.

I said, "You must be Lao Zhang from Guangdong."

"Yes, yes, yes, you see, I said you were so forgetful that you didn't even recognize my voice."

"Sorry, Lao Zhang, I thought someone was joking with me."

"Mr.wong, I want to go to Shenyang, invite you to dinner, it's my treat ..."

I asked, "Lao Zhang, how is your mother's cancer?"

The other party was shocked: "Oh ... the same."

"Ah, sick didn't also the way. Is your father's car accident closed? "

"Oh ... almost."

"Yes, everyone has gone, so don't worry too much about whether they pay or not."

"En"

I asked again, "Did you catch the hooligan who forced your wife to explode?"

........

"I know, I know."

I asked again, "Did your son have an operation without an asshole?"

......

The other party was silent for 10 seconds and hung up the phone.

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where does this river go?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky?

That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou.

The teacher is short of breath: get out!

Student: Just leave.

The teacher said helplessly, are you sick?

Student: You have everything I have!

Teacher: Try again. .....

Student: shout when you see an uneven road!

Teacher: Do you believe I hit you?

Student: Do it when you should. ...

The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school!

Student: Wow, rushing into Kyushu.

Attendant: Welcome to KFC. what can I do for you?

Guest: A hamburger.

Attendant: Is it spicy? ：

Guest: It's spicy.

Attendant: If you add two yuan, you can change it to a double hamburger. Is it okay?

Guest: OK, a double hamburger.

Attendant: What else would you like?

Guest: French fries.

Waiter: Do you want large, medium or small fries?

Guest: Medium fries.

Attendant: How many packets do you want?

Customer: One pack is enough.

Attendant: Now we have the latest French fries milkshake. Would you like to have a try?

Customer: No, just give me ketchup.

Attendant: How about two packs of ketchup?

Customer: I'd like two hundred packs, if possible.

Attendant: Excuse me, sir. We have a limited supply of ketchup here.

Customer: Then why are you talking nonsense to me?

Attendant: Excuse me, sir. What else do you want?

Guest: drinks.

Attendant: We have sprite, black tea and cola Fanta. Which one do you want?

Guest: Coke.

Attendant: Do you want a large cup, a small cup or a bottle?

Guest: Medium rare.

Attendant: Do you need ice cubes?

Guest: Yes.

Attendant: More ice or less ice?

Guest: Almost.

Attendant: May I give you some more?

? Guest: Yes. Thank you.

Attendant: You're welcome, sir. Don't you want to try our latest taco?

Guest: No, thanks.

Attendant: How about the special hot popcorn?

Customer: Not really.

Attendant: Would you like to try a takeaway family meal for the robot cat?

Guest: No.

Attendant: Are you eating here or taking away, sir?

Guest: To go.

Attendant: One * * * is 2 1.05 cents, sir. Do you have fifty cents, sir?

Guest: Yes.

Attendant: Yes, sir. I charge you 100.50 yuan for 79 yuan. There is a difference of two yuan. Can I give you four fifty-cent coins?

Guest: OK.

Attendant: Thank you, sir. Welcome to KFC next time!

Customer: But what about my order?

Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, but we have run out of take-out bags for the time being. Do you want to eat here?

Guest:,,,,

Attendant: Do you have any other requirements, sir?

Guest: I really want to hit you!

Attendant: So, sir, do you want to use a left hook or a right hook or a combination?

Guest: Yes. . . . . .

Attendant: Do you have any other requirements, sir?

Guest: I really want to stab you!

Attendant: So, sir, do you want to use a long knife or a dagger?

Customer: Use a kitchen knife.

Attendant: Did you bring it yourself, sir, or should I help you prepare it?

Guest: ```````````.

Attendant: Are you going to cut off my head or my body?

Guest: ````````````````````````.

Attendant: I suggest you put on our gloves when cutting me, so as not to get your hands dirty with blood.

Guest: ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Mom: What does this "I don't know" mean?

I said, "I don't know."

Mom: I sent you to college for several years. How come you don't know anything !

I said: no! I don't know! !

Mom: Still mouth shut! ! ! ! $@%! #$^&； %#$%@$%@#$%! ^%^! ^%$^#&； ..................................................................................................................................................................................

Mom: You're telling me this. What do you mean by "I know"? You should know. Tell me about it.

I said, "I know."

Mom: Tell me if you know.

I said, "I know."

Mom: Are you finding fault? You just cleaned up a little, didn't you?

I said: I know!

Mom: I know you haven't said it yet! ! Don't pretend to understand! & amp*$%^@$#! % $ @% # * $ # $% (another beating)

Mom: Be careful. You spent so much money to send you to college, and now you can't do anything. You can still put on airs in front of my mother. Ask you the last one, you can explain it to me. If you can't tell me I'm cleaning you up, you can translate something for me: "I know but I don't want to tell you."

I fainted, picked up a pillow and hit it on my head for more than 30 times, hit my head against the wall for more than 40 times, slapped my mouth with my hands for more than 50 times, and kicked the corner of the table for more than 60 times. When I was bloody, I asked my mother: Are you satisfied now?

That's why her old man came to me again and asked me, "son, what do you mean by I'm sorry to announce? Leave me alone." "

Me: "I'm bored, so leave me alone."

Mom: "looking for a beating, talking to your mother like this" (so I was beaten)

Mom asked again; "I didn't hear anything, repeat. What do you mean? "

I said, "I didn't hear you clearly. Say it again. "

Mother said it again: I didn't hear anything, repeat it.

"I didn't catch that. Say it again. "

The result was tied.

Mom asked again, "What do you think?"

I said, "What did you say?" (beaten again)

Mother asked again, "What do you mean by looking it up in the dictionary?"

I said, "Look it up in the dictionary."

"Look it up in the dictionary. I asked what you were doing." (beaten)

Mother asked again, "you'd better ask some physical conditions." How do you translate it? "

I said, "You'd better ask someone else."

"You are my son, I ask others why, looking for a fight."

"ah! God help me! "

"Play with your mother, and God won't save you! (beaten)

I ask you again: "Use your head and think again. What does that mean?" "

I said, "Use your head and think again."

"Son of a bitch, don't you dare hit me" and then do it.

I quickly said, "It means that only mothers are good in the world."

"Well, that's more like it. I'll make you something to eat later and ask you tomorrow. "