Children's short joke stories

Stories are generally closely related to the production and life of primitive humans. Primitive humans are eager to understand nature, so they imagine that everything in the world has life and will like people based on themselves. The following is a children's joke story I compiled, hoping to help everyone!

Children's short stories 1 kangaroo's schoolbag

Father: "Do you know why there is a bag in front of kangaroo's stomach?"

Child: "I think it must be used to hold kangaroos."

Father: "But kangaroo also has a bag in front of its stomach. What is the explanation? "

Child: "that must be used to hold candy!" " "

Know the chicken

The car ran over a chicken and killed it. The driver asked a child, "Is this chicken yours?" "Everything is very similar. But my chicken is not so flat. "

Blackout storm

A few days ago, a city had to turn off power. Just before the power was cut off, my daughter happily held a candle in the living room. My mother asked her why she was so happy. The daughter said excitedly, "You can light candles and watch TV later!" "

Crying little brother

"Why does your little brother always cry all day?" One child cares about another child.

"What's so strange about this? If you have no teeth, no hair, can't walk, can't talk, or even need someone to help you urinate, you will cry all day. "

at the seaside

The 7-year-old son finally saw the long-awaited sea. He said to his mother, "Mom, didn't you say that the sea is boundless?"

Mom: "Yes."

Son: "But how can we stand by the sea?"

Why are they called students?

Dad: "Son, you are in junior high school. Do you know why you call them students? " Son: "I know, we only learn what students are familiar with!" " "

have a rest

My son did something wrong and cried for an hour after I scolded him. I ignored him. When he stopped crying, I asked him, "You stopped crying?" The son replied, "I don't stop crying." I want to have a rest. "

Do you understand "things"?

One day, my aunt said to the children in the class (she is a kindergarten teacher), "You must be sensible! Suddenly a child said loudly, "teacher, I know five more!"

No missing parts

"Dad, I took the TV apart and reassembled it. I just want to see the structure inside. "

"Thank goodness, you haven't lost any parts, have you?"

"Not lost, there are more than a dozen pieces!"

My son watches basketball.

The father held his five-year-old son in his lap and watched the basketball game with rapt attention. Seeing the athletes struggling for the ball, the child asked, "Dad, basketball must be very expensive, right?"

Dad was surprised and said, "Honey, how can you think that?"

The child said, "If it's not expensive, why don't they each buy one?"

A lying teacher

On the first day of school, Bobo came home from school.

"How is the new teacher?" Mom asked.

"Not at all. She likes to lie. "

"How is that possible? Don't talk nonsense. "

"In arithmetic class, she first said that 3 plus 3 equals 6; After a while, she said that 2 plus 4 equals 6; At the end of class, she said that 5 force 1 equals 6. "

The difference between cleverness

"Teacher, why is your head bald?"

"Great."

"Then I'll shave my head, too."

"This is cleverness."

Hey. Humans don't keep promises!

The hungry wolf was looking for food when he heard a family member training his child: "If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf!" " However, the child cried all night. ...

The next morning, the wolf sighed, "Alas … human beings are not trustworthy!" " "

Rest assured.

Mother and son went to the zoo and came to the iron cage where the lion was kept. Mother said, "son, don't get too close!" "

The son replied, "Mom, don't worry, I won't hurt it."

compensate

A boy: Your dog bit me and I want you to pay for it!

Another boy: "I'm really sorry. I'll hold the dog down now, and you can bite as much as you want! " "

The balloon is missing.

In the park, a child always follows a pregnant woman in tears. The pregnant woman finally got impatient and turned to ask, "Son, what's wrong with you?"

"Aunt," sobbed the child, "my balloon is gone. Is it hidden in the stomach? "

wrinkle

A little girl sobbed in the street, and a wrinkled old lady came up and said, "Don't cry! Crying too much will wrinkle the beautiful face, and then it will become ugly! " The little girl stopped crying at once, waited for a while and said, "Mother-in-law, did you like crying when you were a child?"

How to stop mosquitoes from biting us?

Answer; Put some oil on your body, step on it and the mosquitoes will slip away.

Put some glue on your body and mosquitoes will stick to it.

If you play a lullaby, the mosquito will go to sleep and stop biting.

Close to the sun

A basketball player with a height of 2. 1 m came from the court. He was sweating like a pig. Two pupils on the roadside met and chatted. "Why do you think this uncle is so hot?" "Because he is tall." "Why is it hot when you are tall?" "He is tall and close to the sun!"

Tong Yan tong Yu

On the plane, the stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?" ? 」

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will' flash' ..."

Piano's teeth

"Mom, do you know whose roots are black and whose teeth are white?"

"I don't know, naja. Can you talk about it? "

"Piano."

I want this toy.

Danny is a child who likes toys. One day, he went shopping with his father and saw a beautiful and expensive toy car. He insisted on buying it, but his father said it was too small and wanted to buy him a big one. Danny is very obedient. When crossing the road, he saw a double-decker bus stop at the red light at the intersection. He ran excitedly, grabbed the front of the car and shouted, "Dad, I want this toy!" " "

After dark, Uncle Wang remembered that he had run out of valium and went downstairs to buy it at the drugstore. When he got home, he unscrewed the bottle cap, took out two pills and took them with boiling water. He lay in bed with a quilt and watched the TV series Red Sun.

The crisp and melodious birdsong outside the window woke Uncle Wang and opened his eyes and looked at his watch. At 6: 37, the TV program broadcast the morning news. He patted his head and thought for a moment, then muttered in wonder: Did you forget to turn off the TV after taking medicine last night? I usually sleep at two or three o'clock. I don't think I took too much valium, did I? This medicine is usually taken this way. Why can't it have such a good effect? He put on his reading glasses and picked up the medicine bottle. When he saw it, Acanthopanax senticosus tablets were not valium tablets. Huh? Did the pharmacy give the wrong medicine?

All day, uncle Wang didn't feel any discomfort, so he didn't care much. After dinner, a light flashed in his mind. Take this acanthopanax senticosus tablet again tonight and see if he can sleep as well as last night. I fell asleep after taking medicine for more than an hour, and I didn't have many dreams.

Rosty Yi, when Uncle Wang woke up, it was almost seven o'clock. He danced happily like a child. He slept soundly for a whole week. Although the pharmacy gave the wrong medicine, it mistakenly treated insomnia. This is also a good thing, we should thank others.

Uncle Wang came to the pharmacy with a medicine bottle and a small ticket, explaining the situation of giving the wrong medicine. The pharmacist and the drugstore manager apologized to him and explained the conditions of compensation. Dense words made him have no chance to interrupt. Uncle Wang laughed and said happily, you don't have to apologize to me. I came to thank you. You gave me the wrong medicine, cured my insomnia and put an end to the pain that I couldn't sleep. Thank you very much, thank you very much! This sentence made everyone in the pharmacy look at each other and didn't know what to say. Uncle Wang went on to say, I want to send you a banner. I thought of this sentence, "hit the nail on the head!"

It's not too late to tell children jokes and stories.

Teacher: Why are you late again?

Tommy: Didn't you say that? It's never too late to study.

No more points

The father looked at his son's report card and asked angrily, "Why did you get only one point in arithmetic?"

The son replied, "The teacher probably didn't get any points."

I want to change, too.

One day in the park, a white mother and a black mother came.

They all sat nearby and were breast-fed.

Suddenly, the white child looked up and said to the white mother, "Mom, I want to drink chocolate, too ..."

Where's the straw

One day, Xiaoming bought three bottles of juice to go home. On the way, I met A Shuang's mother and A Shuang, so Xiao Ming took a bottle of juice to A Shuang.

Mom said, "Brother Xiaoming gave you juice. What do you want to say? "

A Shuang looked at the juice and then said, "Where's the straw?"

It is not difficult to draw with a camera.

I took adzuki bean to play by the wall. Xiaodou suddenly saw the children sketching. He looked at them for a long time and then asked me, Uncle, they must be very poor, right? How difficult it is for them to draw like this. Why not buy a camera? How convenient it would be!

Milk dog

Dad took his son to the cattle farm to see the cows. Dad pointed to the ox and told his son that it was an ox. He pointed to the cow with black background and white flowers and told his son that it was a cow. My son remembers.

One day, dad took his son to the kennel to see the dog. The son pointed to a pregnant spotted bitch and said to his father, I know what kind of dog this is. It's a nursing dog!

Dad suddenly ...

You are so loyal at such a young age.

On my way home from work, I met three pupils. I saw three pupils standing in a row. One of them said, "Second and third brothers, today you and I are brothers with different surnames. We share the spicy food and stand and be punished. We don't want three good students in the same year, we should call our parents on the same day of the same year. After drinking this bottle of coke, I can't love it back in my next life! "

Childhood fun

When I was a child, I ate watermelon and didn't vomit. After eating, I went to the wild to shit. Ten days later, it sprouted. Then I went to see it once a day and watered it. Then I planted a big watermelon weighing four pounds, and then I ate it again.

The child needs a good education.

On the bus, a little boy of about four or five years old has been holding on to the decorative chain on his mother's clothes. After a while, he will say, "Mom, I like this. Can I have this after you die? " His mother looks black. "I can give it to you if I am not dead."

Children are too gullible.

There is a baked wheat cake downstairs, which is so delicious that I can't help but buy it at six o'clock. The pupil in front of me bought one, and I said, hey hey, I'm too weak to eat three! The pupil shouted: I can eat five! I said, hey hey, I can eat eight! The pupil blushed and shouted, I can eat ten! Finally, he took a big bag. Ha, ha, ha, the child is so gullible that it will support you to death! It's my turn. The boss said that one * * * left ten, and they were all sold out.

It was that needle that tried to hit me.

A young mother took her little son with a cold to the hospital for an injection. When her son came to the hospital for the first time, she naively asked, "Mom, what are we doing here?" Mom said, "Give me an injection!" Son: Why do we need an injection? Did the needle do something wrong? Is he a bad boy? Five minutes later, I heard my son scream in the hospital: it's not our injection, it's the needle that wants to hit me.

That thing at that time

I was naughty when I was in the second grade. My mother lied to me and said, "If you don't listen, I will sell you!" " "When I was a child, I was very simple. I didn't know she was joking. I've been flustered all day. The next day, my monitor borrowed a pen from me I panicked and said to him, "Monitor, I'm so scared. My mother said she would sell me. "My monitor heard these words, a sense of justice exploded. After school that day, he called 56 students from my class to my home. My mother was playing mahjong with others in the yard, and suddenly she was surprised to see so many children. This is not the climax. The climax was that after recognizing who my mother was, the whole class knelt in front of her and shouted, "Auntie, don't sell * * *! "Can you imagine my mother's cracked face?

Because of you, the teacher failed.

Son: "Dad, I failed. Don't be sad! " "Father:" Why? Son: "Our teacher failed, too." She came to this class again today to give us a lesson. "

You'll ruin mom if you keep watching.

My son holds a mobile phone all day long, not afraid of damaging his eyes. I can't help shouting: son, sweep the floor! Watching it any longer will ruin the child. My son glanced at me sitting on the sofa watching my mobile phone and said calmly, Oh, my God! Go and cook! If you look ahead, you will ruin your mother.

Has been discovered.

I made an appointment with my friends to go shopping together. I don't want to take care of the children, so I said to the children, "Mom is going to work overtime, so you can play with dad at home, okay?" Who knows the child disdainfully said, "You don't want to take me out to play. Will overtime be so happy? "

He got a candy as a reward.

Everyone is voicing domestic anti-Japanese dramas. In fact, anti-Japanese dramas are also good. Because yesterday my son, who was less than three years old, stood at the door with a toy gun and shouted at the Japanese. I killed you, with a gun and a Grenade. I was shocked, walked silently, touched his head appreciatively and gave him a candy.

What is tolerance?

Xiaoming went home to show his father after the exam. Dad: "Math 0" Xiaoming was frightened. . . Dad: "Chinese 1" Xiao Ming nodded and trembled. The air is condensed and the atmosphere is extremely horrible. Xiao Ming feels that a blood rain is coming to him. He struggled inside and waited anxiously for the end of the world. Dad: Take a deep breath of cigarettes and say, "Ming! You are a little enlightened! "

Let's eat meat.

Labor Day is coming, and the father wants to give his son some labor ideological education: weeding is at noon, sweating and dripping rice. Who knows that every grain of Chinese food is hard? Son! This ancient poem tells us to cherish every grain. Farmers work hard in farming! The son thought carefully for a while, looked at his father and said solemnly, in order not to make the farmer's uncle so hard, let's eat meat

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