A joke that everyone finds interesting. ...

1. Little X goes to Bird Market. Found a parrot with a price tag of 3 yuan money. So he asked the seller: Why is your parrot so cheap?

Vendor: My parrot is stupid! Shit, I've been teaching for a long time. Up to now, I can only say one thing: who is it?

Xiao X thought it was cheap anyway, so he bought it.

When I get home at night, he thinks I won't believe in religion or you! So little x taught him to say something else all night.

But in the morning, parrot a still only talks; Who is it? So little X got angry, locked the door and went to work. After a while, a gas collector (Z for short) came.

Little z: dong, dong ... (knocking at the door)

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: gas inspector.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: gas inspector.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: gas inspector.

……

In the evening, little X came back. I saw a man lying on the ground in front of my house, foaming at the mouth.

Little x: yo ~! Who is this?

I heard the house say, gas inspector.

2. Little X especially likes parrots. One day he went to the bird walking market and found a parrot with a price of 30,000 yuan.

Curious, he asked the buyer: Why is your parrot so expensive? Buyer: My parrot is very clever! I'll say anything.

Little X bought it as soon as he heard that he was so clever.

He was very happy when he came home at night. Just play with this parrot.

X: I can walk.

Parrot: I can walk.

X: I can run.

Parrot: I can run.

X: I can fly.

Parrot: You are bragging!

3. A man kept a parrot, which was so powerful that all the other birds in it were killed by it.

Later, the master brought back an eagle and put it together. When the owner came to see it, the parrot's hair hung outside the cage.

The host said: Don't be awesome this time.

But when you look closely, the eagle is dead, and the parrot says naked, this grandson is really amazing. You can't beat Yating without taking off your arm.

There is a bird lover who likes parrots very much. One day, he passed by a bird shop and found a parrot being auctioned inside.

He decided to buy this parrot because of its beautiful fur, so he shouted: I am willing to pay 10 dollars for this parrot!

Then someone bid: I am willing to pay 20 yuan dollars!

The bird lover didn't want to give the parrot away, so he called 30 yuan ... but the other one.

The voice seemed to be against him until the bird lover called 200 yuan. ...

The man was happy to buy a parrot, but it suddenly occurred to him: I spent so much money on this parrot. If it can't talk, wouldn't I lose a lot?

So he went to ask the boss: boss … can you talk?

Then he heard the parrot shout: Can't talk? ! Who do you think was bidding to you just now? !

5. A bird dealer has three parrots. A customer came to have a look, pointed to the first parrot and asked the price.

1000 yuan, said the bird dealer.

The customer was surprised: so expensive?

Of course, because it will use Windows.

How's this? The customer pointed to the second one.

2000, because it can use UNIX

Oh, what about the third one?

3000。 Will it ... The bird dealer shrugged his shoulders and replied, I don't know what it will be. He pointed to the first two parrots,

But the two of them call it' CEO'.

6. A man was walking in the street and saw a businessman selling parrots. Seeing that the parrot was beautiful, he asked the businessman if the parrot could talk.

The businessman said: Of course! Hold its right foot.

The man shook the parrot's right foot as he said. Only the parrot clearly said: hello! Hello!

The man is very happy, said the businessman. You can hold his left foot again.

The man shook the parrot's left foot according to the words, only to hear the parrot say clearly: goodbye, goodbye. ...

The man was even happier and immediately bought a parrot.

After returning home, be in heaven touched the parrot's left foot for a while and the parrot's right foot for a while.

The parrot also obediently said: Goodbye, hello.

It suddenly occurred to him: What would it say if I put its feet together?

As soon as he grabbed the parrot's foot.

I heard the parrot say loudly: You want to kill me! ?

7. A young man received a gift on his birthday, which was a talking parrot.

But it was soon discovered that the parrot was foul-mouthed, very rude and had no manners at all.

He is determined to change parrots. Say polite words to it every day, teach it elegant vocabulary and play soft music.

But it's no use. This parrot is still full of foul language.

He shouted at the parrot angrily, and the parrot shouted at him even louder.

Once, he was so angry that he threw the parrot into the refrigerator. A few seconds later, he heard the parrot flapping its wings, shouting and cursing inside.

Suddenly, it was quiet and there was no sound at all. Half a minute passed, but there was still no sound. He was worried that the parrot would be frozen, so he immediately opened the refrigerator.

The parrot came out quietly, stood obediently on his arm and said in a very sincere tone:

Author: naughty A Bin replied to this speech on March 2008-1123: 48.

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2 hilarious parrot! ! ! I highly recommend it. . It's not illegal to laugh to death. (Shen Jing)

"I'm sorry, I make you angry. I have done something wrong before. I decided to turn over a new leaf and stop swearing. Please forgive me. "

Young people are surprised at the change of parrots. Before he could say anything, the parrot continued: Can I ask what the chicken in it did wrong?

When this big fool entered a country, he took a parrot.

The customs officer stopped him and said, Sir! You have to pay tax on this parrot, too.

How much should I pay?

Live 50 yuan, if it is a specimen, it will be 15 yuan!

At this moment, I heard the parrot croak, "What a fool! Never be stingy!

-ilovenokia | reply quickly.

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[1 building]:

10. It is said that a lady bought a female parrot on a whim. I didn't expect to take it home. The first thing it said was: Do you want to sleep with me?

When the lady heard this, she thought: No, outsiders thought I was teaching this, which didn't ruin my image as a lady.

So she tried her best to give the parrot something elegant, but the mother parrot was very determined and could only say one thing: Do you want to sleep with me? ……

What shall we do? When the lady lost her claim, she heard that the priest had a parrot (male).

Moreover, parrots are not swearing, but devout believers who pray most of the time every day.

So the lady went to the priest for help. After the priest understood her purpose, he slightly embarrassed to say:

Well, it's hard. In fact, I didn't deliberately teach parrots anything.

The reason why I am so pious may be that I have been edified here for a long time.

Seeing the lady was very sad, the priest said, "All right, you bring me that parrot."

I put them together. I hope your parrot will be affected after a period of time.

That's all I can do. Whether it works or not depends on the will of God. ...

Hearing this, the lady can only do this. Isn't there a saying: Is it near Zhu Zhechi? Just try it. So she took the parrot to see the priest.

The priest put two parrots together as promised. At first, the female parrot was a little stiff. Look at the male parrot in the corner of the cage and pray silently.

I really don't have the heart to bother you. But she still can't help herself. Finally, the clear voice said, do you want to sleep with me?

Hearing this, the male parrot stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrot and burst into tears:

Thank God, my wish for so many years has finally come true. ...

1 1. A magician worked on a small cruise ship for a year or two.

In the past two years, he has the same program every night, and the audience likes him.

But because the audience often changes, there is no need for him to rush to learn new tricks.

However, a few years later, after long-term observation, the parrot sitting in the back row finally saw the flaw of the magician's trick and began to expose the magician's trick in public.

For example, if a magician makes a bunch of flowers disappear, the parrot will shout "behind him!" Behind him! "

This made the magician fly into a rage, but he was helpless. The parrot belongs to the captain. He can't touch it.

One day, the ship leaked and sank. The magician managed to swim to a board floating on the water and caught it.

The parrot stood at the other end of the board. The two of them stared at each other all the way without saying a word. So I drifted on the water for three days.

The fourth morning, the parrot finally looked at the magician and said, forget it, I surrendered. Where did you turn the boat?

12. On the bus, an old man stared at a young man dressed in avant-garde and dyed his hair in various colors.

The young man was angry: "What are you looking at, old thing?" Didn't you do anything crazy when you were fucking young? ! "

The old man said, "I fucked a parrot when I was young." I suspect you are her son! "

13. A brothel closed down and everything was auctioned off. A young man bought a parrot to go home.

Back home, the parrot began to talk: "the environment has changed, the environment has changed."

Hearing this, the boy's mother went to the living room, and the parrot said, "The boss's wife has changed, and the boss's wife has changed."

When the boy's sister heard this, she also came to the living room. The parrot said, "Miss has changed, Miss has changed."

The young man's father also came to the living room, and the parrot shouted, "Old customers haven't changed, old customers haven't changed!" " " ......

14. A beautiful girl keeps a parrot. One day, the girl was taking a bath in the bathroom. The parrot said, "Yes, yes."

The girl said angrily to the parrot, "If you bark again, you will be plucked."

The next day, a bald guest came home, and the parrot sneaked on the guest's shoulder and whispered, "Did you see it, too?"

15. Dali bought a parrot. As soon as he entered the room, he couldn't wait to make the bird talk.

"Yours, talk?" Da Li stretched out her neck to tease. The parrot didn't respond.

"Yours can talk, and it is rare." Da Li picked up a bug to seduce him. The parrot still doesn't respond.

"Yours, don't talk and go to hell!" Da Li threatened with a sullen face.

Suddenly, the parrot straightened its neck and shouted, "Down with Japanese imperialism!" "

16. One night, Cindy came home from work and cooked dinner as usual.

However, she found that the sink drain pipe in the kitchen seemed to be blocked, so she called William, the water electrician, hoping that he could come and help repair it.

William agreed at once and said that he would go to Cindy's house tomorrow afternoon.

Because it was during Cindy's office hours, Cindy told him, "I'll put the key under the doormat."

Come in by yourself. I have an Akita dog. Very good. You don't have to worry.

Besides, I have a parrot, who is a troublesome guy. No matter what it tells you when you come in. Remember! Never talk to parrots. "William listened to although full of doubts, but still agreed.

The next afternoon, William arrived at Cindy's house on time, entered the door and began to repair the kitchen sink.

This dog is very good. He didn't bark or bite him. The parrot kept yelling at him.

At first William remembered Cindy's suggestion and ignored it, but the parrot kept calling.

After a while, William finally couldn't stand it. He shouted at the parrot:

"Shut up! You big stupid bird! " The parrot paused, and William thought his roar had some effect.

Then, I only heard the parrot imitate Cindy's voice and say, "Dog! Go bite him! " Then I heard a scream from the kitchen.

17. A fat man got on the plane and found a parrot in the seat.

But now is the internet age, and all kinds of strange things are there, so I'm not surprised.

I was a little thirsty, so I asked the stewardess for a glass of water, but the stewardess was always busy and had no time to deliver water for a long time.

Then the parrot next to me spoke: I x you! Are you looking for cigarettes? Why hasn't the XO I want arrived yet?

The stewardess immediately sent XO, and she has been apologizing. The fat man looked at it,

Oh, so they bought it. Then he also shouted: x your grandmother!

Are you looking for a fan? Why hasn't the water I want come yet! The stewardess will be here soon,

But this time, two big men followed. They had a fight and threw the fat man out.

Fat man can't figure it out in mid-air. Why is his face not as beautiful as a parrot?

At this time, the parrot was thrown out as soon as the hatch was opened.

The parrot flew to the fat man and said, Silly X, how dare you be so awesome without wings? !