Classical Chinese translation jokes

1. All the jokes translated in ancient Chinese are on my side, and the students are full. It's so depressing that students don't come. "

The joke is probably like this: A private school teacher teaches The Analects of Confucius, and' Melancholy is literature' is misunderstood as' Everyone is equal to me'. Later, a new teacher in a private school pronounced "gloomy literature and art" correctly, and the students thought that the new teacher had made a mistake and would not come to school. At that time, people ridiculed the poem and said,' Everyone is equal to me, and all students sit. I am depressed that the students are not coming. "

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One day, it was a sunny day, and Yu Yu and You gathered in a humble room. The fate is short and the wind is cold, so You You sighed, "Alas, it's bad luck. The dragon is trapped in shallow water, and the clouds hide young pines. Who is wrong if the major is not hot? It is too late! "

Yu Youren also sighed and said, "It's my life to be a great teacher, and the bones and muscles of the Chinese Department are miserable. Nothing is too much! "

His friend shook his head and said, "The misery of China people can be attributed to the injustice of five continents. The absurdity of chemistry often lies in remoteness and the incomprehension of ordinary people. Therefore, the suffering of my bones and muscles is not what you know. "

The other person keeps silent, and I care about his endless life. Some people are twice as strong as me. He smiled and said, "My brother's career can be described as fiery, and my wife and children can be described as hungry, right?"

My brother was angry when he was beige, and his mouth was full of surprise. "Your career can make a living, but my career is hopeless. Why is it hot? "

The other three people explored it and were silent for a long time before answering: "invertebrate linguistics!" "

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One night, I was wandering on the platform of a voracious society, and I couldn't help staring at a woman with long hair.

After a while, the woman suddenly approached.

Stop and look at me. Yu Daoan, "I'm not very handsome"! But see my eyes wide open and my mouth twitching.

Sigh "Am I too ugly"?

But see the bigger Iraq's eyes, the more Zhang Yue opens her mouth. I'm afraid I've always been a real gentleman and never offended anyone.

For her, let alone forever.

Acquaintances? I tried to turn around, but suddenly I heard Iraq shout. . . . . . Ah. . Strange. ! ! "。 she

Rub your nose and drift away.

I'm already sweating.

2. A good joke of about 50 words is rewarded with 5 points. One night, I was walking on the platform, but I saw a woman with long hair floating in the air. I couldn't help but take a look.

After a while, the woman suddenly stopped and stared at me. Yu:' am I not handsome?' But I saw Yi's eyes wide open and her mouth twitched.

I sighed:' Am I too ugly?' I only see that Yi's eyes are getting bigger and bigger, and her mouth is getting bigger and bigger. I'm scared.

I am a gentleman. I have never offended her, let alone met her. I almost wanted to turn and run away when I heard Iraq shout ... ah ... "choo!" " Yi rubbed his nose and drifted away. I'm already sweating. I am cloth, I started with words, and I missed three years; After practicing martial arts, the tinker made arrows, drummed hundreds of officials, and kicked out with disorderly sticks; He studied medicine, entered the department of clinical medicine, studied hard for five years and made some achievements. He wrote a good prescription, ate it and died.

When I arrived in the underworld, I waited for Emperor Yan to ascend to the DPRK for a long time. I can't stand it. I asked him, and the ghost soldier said: Wang read the document with his feet and laughed wildly. He was startled in the backyard and didn't wake up ... Che Yin Bao Ying, a famous scholar, studied it, and Sun Kang Xue Ying studied it. One day, Kang went to visit Yin. Without seeing him, he asked where to go. The doorman said, "He went out to catch fireflies."

When I answered Bai Kang, I saw Kang standing idle in the court and asked, "Why don't you study?" Kang said, "I don't think it will snow today." -(Ming) Master Fu Bai's series "Laughing Forest" was sold with a dumb voice. People asked them the reason and said, "I'm hungry."

He asked, "If you are hungry, why don't you eat cake?" Said, "It sucks." (Two people whisper)-(Ming) Master Fu Bai's series "Laughing Forest" rice can talk. The wife of Li Ji, a native of Yan, is coquettish and dissolute, and often has an affair with a teenager next door.

When Li Ji heard about it, he came up with a way to catch him. One morning, Li Ji pretended not to be in town, but he looked carefully in the yard. I saw the neighbor's boy quickly enter the back room of Li Ji's house and plug in the door.

Ricky immediately jumped out of the car and knocked at the door. The wife was very scared indoors and asked the teenager, "My husband is here. What should I do? " The teenager was anxious and asked, "Is there a window?" The wife said, "There are no windows."

The boy asked again, "Is there a cave?" The wife said, "There is no cave either." The teenager said helplessly, "How can I get out?" At this time, the wife saw a cloth bag by the wall and said happily, "Great."

The boy hurriedly got into the bag, let her put it on the floor in front of the bed, and told her, "If your husband asks, just say it's rice." After packing, the wife quickly turned and opened the door to let Ricky in.

Li Ji looked indoors again and found no adulterer. He came to the bed slowly and saw that the bag was full, and it felt particularly heavy to lift it. He asked his wife, "What is this?" The wife was so flustered that she forgot the instructions of the teenager and hesitated for a long time without telling her the reason. When Ricky saw that his wife looked suspicious, he continued to ask more sharply.

The boy in the bag was afraid of the exposure and could not help but answer, "I am Michaelis." When Li Ji heard this, he caught the adulterer and the adulterer on the spot and killed them. Friendly reminder: the derailed person will quit! ]-Ming Luzhuo's "Sad Son Hou Yu" One year, when he was drunk, he passed the door of Lu's participation in politics and threw up all over the floor.

The janitor of Lujia came over and scolded, "How dare you get drunk and spit at my door!" " Yugong raised a pair of drunken eyes, squinted contemptuously at the doorman and said, "It was your door that didn't cover the right place and actually pointed at my mouth!" " The doorman thought the drunken man's speech was very interesting, so he retorted with a smile, "My door has been built for a long time. Was it built in front of your mouth today? " Yu Gong pointed to his mouth and said, "Lao Zi's mouth has existed for several years! -Ming Fu Baizhai's "Ya Dou" owner fools eat wine. There was a man whose family was poor, and he couldn't afford to drink, and his capacity for alcohol was not good. However, he loves to pretend to love face. Every time he goes out, he eats two distiller's grains cakes, feeling a little drunk, as if he had just drunk wine.

One day, he met an old friend on the road. Seeing that he was a little drunk, his friend asked, "Did you just drink wine this morning?" He answered truthfully, "No, I only ate two bad cakes." He went home and told his wife about it.

His wife gave him advice and said, "If someone asks again in the future, you can say that you have drunk, or you can pretend to be." He nodded in agreement.

I met that friend the next day, and he said he had drunk. The friend suspected that he had lied and asked, "Is it hot or cold?" He replied, "It's baked." Hearing this, my friend smiled and said, "You still ate the cake."

When he got home, he told his wife about it, and she scolded him and said, "How can I say anything about baking wine?" ? Said it was a hot drink in the future. "He said remember.

The third time I met that friend, before his friend could speak, he boasted, "My wine is so hot today." The friend asked, "How much did you eat?" He held out two fingers and said, "Two."

-Ming Fu Bai Zhai master "Laughing Forest" cheated rice well. A man was so hungry on the road that he came to a family to steal food. He said to his master, "I can mend the needle nose, but I have to eat something to work."

The master was very happy, so he gave him a meal and found out all the broken needles and noses. When the man finished eating, the master asked him to mend them. The man said, "Bring the broken needle nose, too."

-Pan Ming Youlong "Laughing Zen Record" A person is on the road outside. It's getting late, and he wants to spend the night in a nearby temple, but he's worried that the monks in the temple won't agree. He went up to the doorman and said, "I have an inexhaustible thing that I want to give to Bao Si." Hearing this, the monk not only readily agreed to let him in, but also showed special respect to him.

The next morning, the monk came to say hello and asked, "What is the inexhaustible object that the benefactor said?" The man pointed to a bundle of broken bamboo curtains he put in front of the Buddha statue and said, "If you use it as a lantern stick, will it be inexhaustible?" -Pan Ming Youlong's "Laughing Zen Record" was filmed into a net. There is a fisherman and his wife. Their family is very poor. Even in the cold winter, there is no quilt, so they have to use fishing nets to keep out the cold. In the middle of the night, they put their fingers out of the net and felt extremely cold.

The couple secretly rejoiced and said, "How can those who don't have quilts live on such a cold winter night?" -Feng Ming magnum "Laughing Room" There are three people sleeping in the same bed in a trance. In the middle of the night, one person feels itchy on his leg, and in a trance, he is on the second person's leg.

3. Translation of two ancient jokes in China 1. Nose and eyebrows compete for position. Nose said: "I know all the smells and tastes first, and my contribution is relatively large."

You're useless. What's your credit? How dare you press on me? "Eyebrows said:" So, if the nose is above (me), how can fashion be so reasonable? "2. There was a man who wanted to cross the river and was sad that there was no ferry. Suddenly I saw a chinemys reevesii. The man said, "Brother Tortoise, please take me across the river.

I will recite poems to thank you. "The tortoise said," the poem before crossing the river. "

The man said, "Don't be fooled by you. How about singing a few words before crossing the river? " The tortoise said, "Yes." The man shouted, "... ah ... ah ... ah ... ah ...

The man then recited a poem and said, "I love you."

4. Translating China's ancient jokes can't save money-Feng Ming Menglong's Guangxiaofu is extremely stingy. When the river rises, it is difficult to wade.

In the middle reaches, the water washed down and drifted for half a mile. His son searched for a boat on the shore to save him.

The boat wants money, and the money goes there. The son only pays five cents, and the price is uncertain for a long time. On his deathbed, the father turned to look after his son and shouted, "My son, my son, five cents to save you, but no money to save you!" " There is a man who is extremely stingy. Once, when he was on the way, he met a new river rising. Although he could cross the river by boat, he was afraid to pay for the boat, so he waded across the river regardless. Just to the middle of the river, it was washed down by the water and drifted for more than half a mile.

His son is on the shore, looking for a boat to save him. The boatman set the sailing price and said that he could only go if he gave a sum of money. His son bargained for him and said that he would only give five points.

This bargaining has dragged on for a long time, and there has been no conclusion. His father was dying at this moment. When he was dying, he turned around and shouted to his son, "My son, my son, you can save it in five minutes, but you can't save a penny!" " .

5. Recommend several humorous stories in classical Chinese and their translations. 1. The Taoist priest, monk and beard who broke down crossed the river.

Suddenly, when the wind blew, the boat was about to capsize, and monks and Taoists panicked. They threw the scriptures into the river and asked God for help. There is nothing to throw at the beard, just tear it off one by one and throw it into the river.

The monk asked, "What's the use of pulling out a beard?" The man said, "I throw my hair (anchor) here." A Taoist priest, a monk and a bearded man were crossing the river when suddenly they met a strong wind and the boat was about to capsize.

Monks and Taoists are afraid. Hurriedly throw the scriptures into the river and ask God for help.

Beard had nothing to throw, so he tore it off and threw it into the river. The monk asked him, "Why did you pull out your beard?" The beard replied, "I threw my hair here."

2. Crossing the bridge, a villager came back from the city and said that his wife said, "I sneezed countless times in the city." The wife said, "I miss you at home."

He walked across the dangerous bridge with dung on his shoulder every day. After repeating it several times, he almost slipped. Instead, he scolded, "Sao Hua Niang, even if you miss me, you have to see what it is!" " A countryman came home from the city and said to his wife, "I sneezed several times when I was in the city." The wife said, "That's all because I miss you at home."

One day, he picked up a load of dung and walked across a rickety bridge. Suddenly he sneezed a few times and almost fell into the river. He scolded: "this slut, even if I want to, I have to see where it is!" " 3, deaf-mute, deaf-mute, each wants his own embarrassment. If you have been deaf for a day, you can sing a song and the dumb will know that you are deaf. You can tie a knot by opening and closing your lips and clapping your hands. The deaf will listen for a long time.

Seeing that his lips stopped, he praised: "Wonderful, wonderful. I haven't heard good news for a long time, and today is even better. " The deaf envy him for being deaf, and the dumb envy him for being dumb.

One day, the deaf saw the mute and begged him to sing a song, which was actually a mockery of his shortcomings. Knowing that the other person is deaf, the mute closes his lips one by one, beats his hands and pretends to sing.

The deaf also pretend to listen. Seeing the mute's lips motionless, he praised him and said, "Great, I haven't heard your wonderful singing for a long time, and I have made progress today." 4. Yawning A deaf-mute went to visit a friend.

The dog barks when it sees it. He was at a loss.

Meet the host. After the ceremony, he said, "Your family respects dogs. I don't think they slept last night. "

The host asked, "What do I think?" Answer: "when I saw my brother, only 32313353236313431303231363535858685e5aeb9313336396339 called. A deaf man went to visit his friend. His dog saw him barking, but the deaf man didn't notice.

After entering the back room to see the owner bow to each other, he said to the owner, "Does your dog think he didn't sleep last night?" The host asked, "What do I think?" The deaf man said, "The dog kept yawning when he saw his little brother." 5, asking for directions, getting lost in myopia, seeing a crow resting on the roadside stone, suspecting that it is also a person, so he repeatedly yelled at it.

After a while, the crow flew away, and the man said, "I asked you to disagree. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you." A nearsighted man lost his way and saw a crow standing on a stone by the roadside. He thought it was a man, so he asked for directions.

I asked several times, but no one answered. After a while, the crow flew away.

Myopia said to himself, "Hum, I asked you if you didn't agree just now. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you. " .