Selected 26 Joke Copywriting

1. One of my colleagues is allergic to mutton. 1 The face is swollen after eating mutton, and everyone takes him with him every time he eats mutton kebabs. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.

2. Go out with an idiot friend to get money. When I arrived at the bank, I saw that there was no place to park, so I stopped at the roadside in front. I told my friend when I got off the bus to withdraw money. If a traffic policeman comes to check illegal parking, you can call me. I was waiting in line when my friend shouted in a panic: Big Brother, the police are coming, run. The business hall is in chaos.

I called the mobile customer service today, and the customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "You are happy too early." Then I hung up.

My wife asked me, "What did you do in the evening?" I said, "Choose 14 from 144, arrange and combine, optimize the system and achieve the best goal." The wife said, "Speak human words." I replied, "Playing mahjong."

5. Don't mess around if you don't look good: some people pay a lot of money to iron delicate princess rolls, and they don't look like princesses, but like Newton.

6. The family went to see a play. They bought tickets upstairs, but the little boy kept looking down on the railing, only to hear a staff member come over and say, "Take care of the child and don't let him fall." Downstairs is the VIP table. If you fall, you have to make up the ticket ... "

7. Xiao Wang said in the office, "My girlfriend is just like a mobile phone." Colleagues asked, "So small and exquisite, so fashionable and so essential?" Xiao Wang: "No, I won't talk to you when I have no money!" " " .

8. Brother, I'll throw a brick first. Throw the jade if you have it.

9. The little white rabbit set up a stall to sell vegetables, and the grocer said to it: Your food looks terrible, and it has bug eyes. The white rabbit explained: it is right to have bug eyes, which shows that this dish is pollution-free! The centipede on the side was unhappy and rushed up to scold: When have I ever harmed your food?

10. Natural selection is true! Since I lost my hair, my hair quality has really improved day by day! All the bad ones are dropped, and all the ones left on the head are malicious people.

1 1. I went to the school toilet yesterday, which is the kind where pits are connected and separated one by one. I lost a fifty-cent coin when I took off my pants. I feel a little distressed and can't continue to take off my pants. I broke down again. My heart is broken! Then a sentence came from the pit behind: "Shit, you think this is a wishing pool!" " "

12. Classmate, you ate a candy in class. It's just melon seeds. You eat a crutch longer than your arm. The teacher suddenly felt very tired, and the persuasion conversation was repeated many times. I want to throw a piece of chalk to remind you, but I'm afraid you'll throw back a crutch. ...

13. An anesthesiologist has a strong accent. Once he gave an uncle an epidural, and the doctor asked him, "Are your feet numb?" Grandpa: "..." The anesthesiologist thought that he might speak in a low voice and continued to ask: "Are your feet numb?" Grandpa continued not to talk and stared at the anesthesiologist. The anesthesiologist couldn't stand it anymore and raised his voice: "Talk, are your feet numb?" Grandpa: "Mom."

14. I was particularly stupid when I was a child. My uncle came to my house as a guest. My mother asked me to pour tea for my uncle. I poured the cup into my uncle's hand and accidentally spilled water on my uncle's pants. After apologizing, my mother said there was too little water and asked me to pour more. Then I poured the remaining half a glass of water on my uncle's pants.

15. In the Western Heaven, 62 macaques mixed in, and only the Tang Priest could tell the truth about the Monkey King. The Tang Priest said, "I want to give my teacher peaches." The two monkeys hesitated and turned into peaches. Suddenly, the Tang Priest shouted, "Bajie, take that kiwi for me!" " " .

16. Two college buddies cheated in the exam and studied Moore code hard, and finally achieved something. Finally, on the day of the exam, they knocked on the desktop with pens in the examination room and exchanged ideas as follows: Will the first question be held? ..... no, would you? ..... I won't, will the second question? ..... no, would you? ..... I won't. ...

17. Today I heard an eight-year-old girl singing, two tigers, two tigers, falling in love, falling in love. All men, all men, so perverted, so perverted.

18. What brand of bag do you usually carry and what brand of clothes do you wear? "I crossed the mountains and seas, and I also crossed the sea of people."

19. I accidentally dropped my glasses in the pot when I was eating in the canteen, but I didn't catch them with a spoon for a long time. The lady in the queue behind me is a little impatient: "Brother, hurry up, what's the rotten cabbage inside?"

I remember when I was a child, a distant aunt came to my house with a dog. Relatives said to the dog, "call aunt quickly!" " "The dog immediately called two. I was shocked. My mother saw that I was not as polite as a dog, so she said to me, "Call aunt quickly! ""So I said, "Woof!"

2 1. Learning to bully in English class is as natural as having a Chinese class. I take an English class, just like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

As long as you are my friend from today, anyone who has no money will reply to me, and I can tell you how I live without money.

23. Don't expect to lose weight, Bajie has walked a hundred and eight thousand miles and hasn't lost weight yet. Besides, he is a vegetarian.

24. The brain is a commodity. I hope you don't regard it as an ornament.

I was so thirsty that I went to the grocery store and bought a bottle of iced black tea. Half drunk and found it was fake. I already drank it, and I didn't say anything. Look at the bottle cap and have another bottle. Tell the boss at once that he won the lottery and send another bottle. The boss said quietly, look carefully. Let me see: buy another bottle!

26. Today, the teacher suddenly came to class inexplicably: "Students who feel stupid, you all stand up." Students, you look at me, I look at him, and I don't want to stand up. After a period of silence, someone suddenly stood up and the teacher asked, "Do you think you are stupid?" . The student shook his head: "No, sir, I just don't want you to stand alone."