What do you think of "my ex made friends after reunion and ruined my 10 marriage"?

For a long time, many of us have misunderstood marriage and thought that marriage is happiness. In fact, marriage is the road to happiness. On this road, there will be all kinds of difficulties, which need husband and wife to face and solve together in order to get real happiness. Happiness is never easy to get, and we need to work hard and explore.

But many people don't understand this. In the face of difficulties, as long as their marriage is a little unsatisfactory, they are easy to blame each other and doubt their original choices, but they never think about how to resolve conflicts. Over time, the contradiction between two people will get bigger and bigger like a snowball, but it will not melt itself like a snowball. On the contrary, it will make people completely chilling.

The biggest stumbling block in feelings is nothing more than a crisis of trust. When there is a crisis of trust between husband and wife, even the deepest feelings will be in jeopardy. In marriage, many of us have doubted the loyalty of our partners, which is a necessary test process. As long as it is handled properly, it will promote the feelings between lovers and draw closer to each other's hearts, but most people can't analyze it calmly and rationally, and often make things worse, so as to push each other to an irreparable situation.

The fuse that causes the crisis of trust between husband and wife is often the ex. Both men and women, as long as they love each other deeply, will care about each other's predecessors more or less. Many people are jealous of their partner's ex because they can't participate in the past. This is undeniable.

Li Lin is 40 years old and has been married to her husband for just ten years. In the eyes of others, she is lucky. At the age of 30, she met a handsome and rich husband, who spoiled her as a princess. At first, she was an older woman who was urged to get married by her parents and relatives. In others' eyes, it is good for her to marry a man. Unexpectedly, the older woman got married and married so well.

Li Lin met her husband through blind date. The other party postponed the wedding event because he was preoccupied with his career. She is five years older than Li Lin. Although she is in good condition, she can't speak. Li Lin doesn't like him. In addition, Li Lin couldn't forget her predecessor at this time, but in the end she couldn't resist her parents' urging and got married after a month together.

Husband is a career freak and can't talk. Although he doesn't worry about money in his married life, their married life is never optimistic. There is not much communication between them. Like an old couple who have been married for many years, Li Lin always feels unhappy, but many friends around her say she is not satisfied.

Although her husband is very busy at work, he never ignores her. He always prepares gifts and even cooks on holidays. Such a man is perfect in many women's minds, but Li Lin feels that she doesn't love him. Although he is very good, she is still not satisfied. Perhaps because this marriage was pushed away from the beginning, she always wanted to marry her predecessor in her heart, but she was abruptly separated by her parents because the other party had no house or car.

Nevertheless, Li Lin lived peacefully with her husband for ten years, perhaps for the sake of her children or because she couldn't stand living in good conditions. After living for so many years, Li Lin has long had feelings and dependence on her husband, but her husband is getting busier and busier, and Li Lin often feels lost.

In a happy marriage, husband and wife are both integrated and independent. Women must have independent ability in marriage in order to face the test of life calmly. Otherwise, like Li Lin, a woman who puts her whole body and mind on her husband and family will easily lose herself and have doubts about marriage.

02

If we pin our hopes on others, then we will eventually get lost and the reality will teach us a painful lesson. Li Lin, who suffered losses in her marriage, tried to turn her attention to other things. She began to attend various parties, and this is how the reunion with her predecessor happened.

Well, they haven't seen each other for ten years. When they saw each other, Li Lin's heart seemed to be hit. Another person has a mature and steady temperament. In the opposite direction, she came over and the two exchanged contact information. Li Lin seems to see her past self in her predecessor, full of vitality, unlike her present self.

She learned that the other party had a wife and children, so she restrained herself and kept their distance. Usually, they just talk about some common things and what they have seen and heard. Since Li Lin attended the class reunion, the whole person has become different from before. She is no longer lifeless. Even my husband said it was good and encouraged her to take part in more activities.

The best ex should disappear into each other's world forever. When two people have the other half, it is not good for each other to suddenly appear and contact each other.

Maybe Li Lin didn't expect the development of things. Her ex finally couldn't help but pour out her feelings, saying that she had a bad relationship with her wife. The love in her heart has always been Li Lin. She married her parents, and they only agreed because Li Lin got married. Now they can't live any longer.

03

Li Lin listened to her predecessor's conversation and thought about her and her husband's situation. Her heart was touched and she felt the same way. Suddenly, she remembered what happened to them in those years. But at this point, she is very clear that they can't go back to the past. Until I saw the other person's circle of friends, my predecessor made a dynamic. It was when they were in love and often liked to eat, so they let go of their guard against each other. After all, they crossed the line.

There is no windtight wall in this world. The more secrets you don't want people to know, the tighter you cover them, the more you will be caught off guard. Their affair was discovered by Li Lin's husband.

After the husband found out, although his heart was very painful, he still thought of Li Lin. He hoped that Li Lin would apologize to himself, but Li Lin said that in his heart, he would never let go of his predecessors and hoped that her husband would fulfill them. The biggest weakness of women in feelings is to find a sense of identity in men. Li Lin found a sense of existence in her predecessor and thought it was true love. Women often lose their minds because of so-called love.

The husband in pain had no choice but to make it perfect, but he also gave Li Lin advice: "You will regret it!" " "

At this time, Li Lin still listened to her husband's words in her heart. After the divorce, she couldn't wait to tell her predecessor the news. The ex didn't show happiness, just kept her waiting. In the process of waiting, the predecessor has blacked out all her contact information and returned to his wife and children.

Li Lin knows how naive she is at this time. She regretted it. She felt like a joke. She wants to go back, but she can't find the way back.

04

When we choose marriage, we should clearly understand that marriage means responsibility. From now on, we should be responsible for marriage, not to meet other people's expectations. In order to get rid of the trouble of being single, these ideas are irresponsible for marriage.

Many people ask me when is the best time to get married. I said, when you are ready to be responsible for your partner and give up the opportunity to have an affair with other members of the opposite sex, including your ex, it means that you should get married. This answer is gender neutral.

A good marriage must be mutual contribution and common progress, not just relying on one side's favor. If a person loses the ability of independence in marriage, he can only rely on the man, but when the man is tired, a good relationship between husband and wife must be interdependent, so the woman should also become an independent woman, so that she will not be swayed by considerations of gain and loss in marriage and will not easily betray marriage.

Do you still have feelings for your ex who has been separated for many years? In fact, our ex will always be the one we used to be. Even if he appears in front of you ten years later, he is no longer the man he used to be. In the ten years when we are away from each other, anything can change a person's values, not to mention the feelings that were easy to break up at the beginning.

You are not still in love, perhaps more unwilling. Coupled with the disharmony between husband and wife at that time, you were just an "emotional spare tire" for him. For such feelings, it is not worth ruining 10 years of marriage! But there is no regret medicine in this world, so marriage is not easy and can be cherished!