Jokes about words

Someone sent a pipa to the county magistrate, but he mistyped it as a pipa on the gift list. The county magistrate smiled and said, "Pipa is not this kind of pipa. I only hate my poor literacy! A guest replied, "If the pipa can blossom and bear fruit, all the pipes in the city will blossom.".

At a meeting in the village, the village head said, "Rabbit and shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls.

Eat only one ton

The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown. The man's father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city.

Q: "How many people can come? Be prepared. "

My in-laws called back and said, "Not many people can go, just prepare a ton of rice." He wrote "dun"

Convert into tons.

Soon I received a telegram from the countryside: "The wedding date was postponed for one month, because it was difficult to collect one ton of rice at one time."

Qi. "

The true story of preserved eggs

Director Jia said excitedly: "Today, the trade union invoice saw the movie The True Story of Api Egg."

A young man smiled: "Director Jia, you are mistaken. This is the true story of Ah Q, "What? I

Wrong! ? I have been playing cards for decades. I don't know. Preserved eggs? Go away. "

The old man lost his tooth.

The two brothers took their grandfather to the hospital. My brother saw that the "age" on the registration form was wrongly printed.

When billing, he said to the doctor, "the word' single' missed a word' tooth'."

"It's' tooth', the doctor said, because this is an elderly clinic!"

Dr qu yuan

In history class, the teacher asked the same student, "Who is Qu Yuan?"

"It's a doctor." The students answered.

"Nonsense!"

"What nonsense? The book says he is a doctor! "

Art of calligraphy

A pair of fashionable young men and women walked into a newspaper office arm in arm. The young man pointed to a popular flower and said to the clerk, "buy a popular flower." The clerk smiled at him and handed it to him. Next to the young woman took off the frog mirror, took a look at the title of the magazine and asked; "Why is there more verticality in this opening?" The young man replied, "Is this the art of calligraphy?" "Oh." The young woman nodded.

A wrongly written or pronounced character.

A clerk wrote on the blackboard the words "It's on sale now".

A customer next to him said, "Comrade, you wrote' zero' in retail."

The salesman glared at the customer and said, "Come on, there is a vertical knife next to the word' no'!"

Why do you care?

Director Hu always writes wrong words, mispronounces, and is full of jokes, but he never learns with an open mind.

On one occasion, the unit held a commendation meeting, and he pronounced Feng Jianguo as Ma Jianguo, which caused a burst of laughter. male

I think I read it wrong again.

The secretary reminded: "There are two more points!"

Director Hu wanted to correct it, but he was afraid of losing face, so he said with a straight face, "Don't laugh, it doesn't matter if you lose two points! They are all revolutionary comrades, so why care about these two points? "

each other

Mr. Zhou took the business card handed over by Mr. Chen, looked at it and said, "Mr. Dong, I've heard a lot about you."

Yang. Mr. Chen took Mr. Zhou's business card and said, "Are you Mr. Ji?" Mr. Zhou is unhappy: "My name is Zhou. Why did you skin me? What have I done to offend you? " Mr. Chen said, "My family name is Chen. You cut off my ear, so you won't be interested in me skinning you? "