Counselor's story: those funny jokes of counselors

after sorting out my diary, I found some interesting clips of counselors' work in the past, and the time was in a hurry. Although these original wonderful things are humble, I am still willing to share them with you, and Bo Jun is happy.

Two counselors in Grade 9, one surnamed Zhu and the other surnamed Xie.

once, a parent came to consult and entered the office with a little hesitation: are you Xie? Or Zhu?

Zhu Dao looks dignified: I'm Zhu, I'm Zhu ~

Two

Some students have been extended from Grade 7 to Grade 8, coming from the border of Yunnan and Guizhou, and their Mandarin is not very good.

I went to their dormitory, and as far as I could see, there was a mess, and the dialogue in the mess was more tragic.

he asked, who are you?

I said, I'm your new counselor. My name is Xu, and I'm a double Xu. Feel free to call me if you need anything, okay?

he nodded thoughtfully.

a few days later, the student came to see me in the office.

Through the door: Excuse me, is Mr. Shuang there?

everyone is surprised: we don't have a teacher named Shuang here.

He stressed: Yes, absolutely. He said his name was double Xu Mao, and everyone's jaws fell off.

Wednesday

At eleven o'clock in the middle of the night, the telephone in the office of the School of Mechanical and Electrical Engineering rang in a hurry, which made me jumpy.

The other person is an anxious middle-aged man. He said that he had lost contact with his son for many days.

He just found the telephone number of the counselor's office on the Internet, hoping to help him get in touch with his son. The whole family is living in anxiety.

His expression is not clear, and some words are incoherent. It is useless to comfort him several times. He said, please help me find it quickly.

If you are in danger, but I haven't heard the name, lead him to ask the student when he entered the school. He said this September.

So I decided that he was a freshman and should be looking for a freshman counselor, so I called the freshman counselor.

After a hard search, the result came out. There is no such person among freshmen.

continue to communicate with each other, saying that he has been in college for several years, and it can be judged that he is a graduate student and has just entered the school.

So, I called the graduate counselor late at night.

after a search, the graduate students in the whole school are not from the School of Mechanical and Electrical Engineering, saying that there is a freshman with the same name in the School of Economics and Management.

I said that you are the father of the child after all, so at least you should know what major the child is studying.

The father apologized again and again, saying that the teacher had caused you trouble and would pay attention to it later.

instead, I felt sorry for myself and softened my heart, which in turn comforted me.

Finally, news came from the School of Economics and Management that his son was from Hohai University.

Mao, my chin fell off again ~

Four

After I came to China Southern Airlines, I met three students I had taught in New Oriental before. The world is very small.

One is a pilot of the Civil Aviation Institute; The other two are in the School of Mechanical and Electrical Engineering, one in Grade 6 and the other in Grade 8.

The most exciting thing is my Grade 8 student. After my first freshman grade meeting, there was this short message dialogue:

Student: Xu Dao, it's incredible.

brother chuan: what's so amazing?

Student: I took a class in New Oriental two years ago. At that time, the teacher who taught reading was also named Xu Chuan!

brother chuan: oh, what a coincidence.

Student: That's not enough. Even more coincidentally, he also graduated from East China Normal University! !

brother chuan: oh, it's really incredible. Do we look alike?

Student: Not like this. You are much more handsome than him! ! !

Brother Chuan: ...

Friday

After 8 o'clock in the morning, I was working in the office of the Institute of Mechanical and Electrical Engineering.

Yang Jie, a counselor from the College of Energy and Power, led the parents of the students to me.

He said that there is a child in your college, Yang Yang, who doesn't want to go to school, and his parents came to see him. I checked that it is your student.

Yang Jie explained that you took your time and left.

I stopped working and started chatting with my child's mother.

I prepared the paper towel and listened to her tell the family story, the estrangement between mother and child and her inner anxiety.

The child's mother sobbed in front of me, with a runny nose and tears telling the bitter history of raising her children.

From one year old to more than twenty years old, twenty years passed slowly, and mother's mood gradually stabilized.

I thought I could do her son's ideological work, so I called Yang Yang to run to the office.

Yang Yang said that he was doing an internship, so I asked him to ask for leave immediately. What are you in the mood for an internship after his mother has done this?

Sitting in front of me, I am earnest: Your mother is here, too. Today, Brother Chuan wants to hear your true thoughts.

What makes you want to drop out of school, or what's the knot you can't open? Talk about it.

he said, I didn't, I didn't have any ideas, I didn't have any problems, I didn't want to drop out of school.

I'm angry. I pity inherit the wind. My mother has been worried for two days in Nanjing, but you still think it's okay!

Mother stopped sobbing: Teacher, who is this person?

I said, isn't this your son? Yang Yang from the School of Mechanical and Electrical Engineering.

she said no, my son is from the College of Energy and Power.

Mao, I dropped my jaw again.

On Saturday

One extended school year, parents called once a week to ask me about their children's daily situation, rain or shine.

Finally, I once said I didn't know, and she was stunned: How can you not know!

I said I can't see this child every day. I have 5 children to see.

And we should always give our children some free space, and we can't monitor them everywhere.

and I have no reason to stare at only one child, besides, he is not good-looking, and he can't look at it all the time.

So, there is the following dialogue:

Parents: xu teacher, you can't leave our children alone.

brother chuan: I didn't say no matter. I just said that you can't let me watch him alone every day.

parent: xu teacher, there is only one child in our family.

brother chuan: yes, I understand, the family planning policy.

Parents: xu teacher, if you take a lot of trouble, will you treat your child as your own brother? Just recognize a kiss.

brother chuan: no, no, I have to discuss it with my parents if I really want to be married.

parents: you should be such a disappointing younger brother, ok?

brother chuan: I really don't have such a younger brother, and he doesn't have such a disappointing brother as me.

parents: I beg you, xu teacher.

brother chuan: I beg you, mom.

Parents: ...

Seven

Get a mobile card, need an old mobile phone, use it for dozens of days, and ask around counselors and colleagues, so ...

(1)

Brother Chuan: Do you have an old mobile phone?

dong Yu: yes, but there is no battery.

Brother Chuan: ...

(2)

Brother Chuan: Do you have an old mobile phone?

Yida: Yes, what card are you?

brother chuan: yes? Great, I'm mobile.

Yida: I'll get it to you later. I'm Unicom.

Brother Chuan: ...

(3)

Brother Chuan: Do you have an old mobile phone?

Xiaojie: Yes, I just lost the new one.

Brother Chuan: ...

(5)

Brother Chuan: Do you have an old mobile phone?

Guo Wei: Yes, but there is no sound. It's not completely absent, but it can be heard when it's quiet around.

Brother Chuan: ...

Well, the boat of friendship turns over when it is said ...