90 selected humorous sentences

1. We didn't know what we had until we lost it.

2, life can not be like cooking, all the ingredients are ready before cooking!

3. Remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

All the food you waste will be blocked on your way to heaven.

5. The fish said: In order to leave your side, I kept my eyes open. ? The water said:? I tirelessly surround you all day and hold you tightly. ? The pot said:? It's almost fucking ripe, and you still talk so much nonsense?

6. God gave us acne while giving us youth!

7. Give you two choices. Do you like me or me?

8. If you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket to knead instant noodles.

9. The furthest distance in the world is not the ends of the earth, but that I am in telecom and you are in Netcom.

10, you are very kind, especially when you are sorry?

1 1, people have plenty of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

12, her brother is * * * Why? Shit! Aren't you going to the party?

13, hello, the number you dialed has passed away, please dial again in your next life.

14, you can't even cheat. How can I trust you to enter the society?

15, even wash your hair carefully, for fear that water will enter your brain.

16, status quo: I'm wasting time, I'm wasting time, I'm blurring the present, and I'm afraid of the future.

Qian Qian, the son and daughter of China, is a millionaire. If this doesn't work, change it.

18, check 45? Just to keep your nose from stopping, bow your head 45? Just to wipe your nose from being seen.

19, there are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

20, instead of mixing, it is better to simmer, not as good as two, not as good as soaring.

2 1, life is fucking fun, because life always fucking plays with me.

22. The reason of constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

23. We are all passers-by. Fortunately, neither of us knocked down each other.

24. The salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

25. I am noble because you kneel down!

26. Tucao is used to count money, not to make sense!

In today's society, it is useless to cook raw rice into mature rice. Even if it turns into popcorn, the runner will still run.

28. Deliberate study, deliberate work, deliberate life, and deliberate life like an individual!

29. Leave me alone, leave me alone, you will soon fall into the pit.

30. Without suffering, you never know that some people are best at hitting people when they are down.

3 1, everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend to be serious.

32. My brother's previous love life was also quite chaotic.

Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

34. I saw a coin by the roadside. I was just about to bend down and pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. Shit? Who threw up so round?

It suddenly occurred to me that since I had glasses, I was afraid to go out.

We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

I would rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince pig riding a white horse.

Even though I am very young, I am still great when I try to live for myself, but I just don't know the size of greatness?

39. When arguing with others, take a step back and broaden your horizons; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

40. I can't sleep for the first 30 years, and I can't sleep for the next 30 years.

4 1, people will not lose themselves as long as they don't lose their way! What matters in life is not where you stand, but the direction you face.

42. The tragedy of life is that when you want to do anything, you only have a knife.

43. The so-called difference in values is: given a candle, some people will feel that a cake is missing, while others will feel that a whip is missing.

44. I waited for a long time to hear from you, and all I got was a haha. You treat me like a fucking joke.

45. Every dormitory has one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores and one who sleeps late.

46. What is youth? Who hasn't been young? Are you old? Really.

47. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except chewing gum.

48. See you soon after graduation; Have a wife a year after graduation; Later I regretted having a wife; Later, there was a stepmother; I regret having a stepwife the most.

49. The left brain is full of water and the right brain is full of flour. Just move, everything is burnt.

50. The crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still despises me?

5 1, everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend to be serious.

52. Even if I scold you at ordinary times, I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

53. The poor monk came to the Tang Dynasty from the east and made a special trip to the Western Heaven to worship Buddha and find his relatives.

54. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

55, the diaper that can resist flood water is the real diaper!

56. Those who can earn 200 Jin of pork a month now are barely white-collar.

57. Wear other people's shoes and go your own way. Let others find shoes!

58. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

59. I tried to turn the salted fish over during the exam. Damn it, I didn't expect it to stick.

60. Facing the people in front of me, I want to cross and be smart. I know you're watching. Isn't that fake?

6 1, when there is a legend in the rivers and lakes, I am sorry for the audience.

62. Don't make your girlfriend blue, because she is blue and you are green, and don't make your boyfriend red, because he is red and you are yellow.

63. We are all farsighted, which blurs our recent happiness.

64. Man can surmount natural obstacles, but he can't surmount his own obstacles with wisdom.

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

66. To live is to watch others die, and then let others watch yourself die.

67. Let the storm come more violently, and let the date get soaked.

68. Anything is possible as long as we have confidence.

69. God, did you share a room in summer and winter? Give birth to this damn weather!

70. Tanabata has finally passed, and my brother can finally get up. Single men can't afford to get hurt!

7 1, every woman can only stay for two years, and every man can, uncle, for a long time.

72. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is a small fire and marriage is a big fire.

73. I will try to save money and buy an ATM.

74. People who hang up on QQ all day these days have nothing to do but go to work, that is, people who are not loved after work.

75. Only by eating all the time can we maintain a complete personality.

76. Do I have to watch it when I get up every morning? Forbes? Rich list, if my name is not on it, I will go to work.

77. Fireworks that bloom at the same time in the night sky can see each other's beautiful moments, but I can't light up your life.

It takes only a minute to meet someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

79. That on my brother's face is definitely not acne, it's called youth.

80. When a playboy meets easy virtue, it will be a heavyweight confrontation in a sexual storm.

8 1, Niu B is an ordinary person, and Niu Organ is a scholar.

82. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

83. The cow hit the high-voltage line. It was really lightning.

84. When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital!

85. Life grinds us around and makes us roll further.

Can we go somewhere for a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

87. The existence of tears proves that sadness is not an illusion.

Boss, give me a sad haircut! thank you

89. The brothers in the dormitory decided to punish Mr. Zhang as follows: let him hold the telephone pole covered with advertisements of old Chinese medicine and cry with tears: My illness has finally been saved!

90. As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?