Collect a little joke that can break your belly.

I remember once, the teacher asked us, "Students, do you know what these two classical Chinese texts have in common?" My deskmate suddenly stood up and said to the teacher, "Everyone should recite!" "

Go home and find a marriage certificate

My wife bought a lot of new clothes recently ... I asked why, and she said to replace them and not to collide with others ... Today, my wife wore a dress with white on the top and green on the bottom. I didn't ask too many questions. Just got off work at noon. I drove and saw a man holding a woman on the roadside in front of me. The woman was wearing the same clothes as my wife. I just smiled and pulled over to show my wife that she was still hit.

scoundrel

The community security guard has a dog, which is very fierce. Every time a car passes by, it barks. It's windy these days, and suddenly I feel that this evil dog hasn't barked all day. It is estimated that it will not be blown away by the strong wind. I opened the window and observed that wherever the goods went, they kept the rice basin in their mouths. ...

Are you still alone?

"After all these years, are you still alone?" "Bullshit! Will I TM become a dog! " "No ... I don't ... I didn't mean that ... (explain or correct what I just said) I mean ... where's your other dog ..."

Sunflower face

My wife has a big face, but she has lost more than ten pounds recently, so she looks at the mirror and feels sorry for herself: "Look at my oval face!" " After listening to this, the husband watching TV curled his lips contemptuously and said, "Hey, that's not a melon face, that's a sunflower face! "

We have to deliver two cars of sand today.

It is said that people who drive Mercedes-Benz, BMW and Ferrari are arrogant, but I don't think so. Although I have people with cars, I will never speak for them. Once, I wanted to overtake a Mercedes. After changing the lights and honking the horn, Mercedes took the initiative to slow down and let me pass first. Another time ... Well, forget it, the site owner called again to urge him to send two cars of sand today.

Beautiful female netizen

Once I fell in love with a beautiful female netizen hopelessly, but I was rejected when I confessed to her. She said it was for my own good, and I always thought it was just her excuse until I met her without makeup. Alas! There are still many good people on the Internet.

shocked

Do you know why I, a young man, have nothing to do to watch my aunt dance square dance? Because after getting acquainted with menstruation, menstruation would ask: Young man, do you have a girlfriend? If not, aunt will introduce you to one! I was deeply shocked by my wisdom.

Not enough. And ... hope to adopt