A collection of short jokes A collection of short jokes within 20 characters

Master! I saw through the world of mortals and wanted to become a monk. "Go away, you do this every month just for a few dollars of haircut fees?"

Chinese teacher: What is the difference between thirst and hunger? Xiao Ming: The cucumbers are placed in different places. Teacher: Do you want me to say more? Xiao Ming: Got it, get out.

Today I saw someone saying that Xiao Ming wrote an essay about my first teacher, Teacher Cang, and I was confused. Which science did Teacher Cang teach? It all depends on Xiao Ming!

In that year, people were still relatively feudal. My daughter-in-law was pushed out of the delivery room just after giving birth. Because she felt shy, she covered her head with a quilt. My mother was so frightened that she cried on the spot.

Now I feel that Grandma Rong in the first My Fair Princess is the best actress. I gritted my teeth when I watched it, but now I know that she is a good person, the number one good person. He raised his paw in sympathy.

Ten years ago, when chatting on QQ, anyone who didn’t say anything would be deleted. Now, QQ is used every day, and anyone who makes any noise will be deleted. I feel lonely but don’t want anyone to disturb me. I feel the same way. hand!

Poverty may be the only thing that can drive an adult to say goodbye to the warm bed and leave the house on time, regardless of the cold wind outside and the frosty white dew outside every morning from Monday to Friday.

I’ve been having a lot of bad luck recently. Not only did I fall down, I got up and pointed angrily at the sky: "Why the hell do you dislike me? I'm too kind." , or is he too handsome?”

I just saw the news that a man accidentally cut an egg during surgery, and the hospital paid two million. Now think about it, we have to carry four hundred with us every day. With fixed assets of 10,000 yuan, isn’t it a bit of a show off of wealth?

I just saw a piece of news saying that even a five- or six-year-old boy will be kicked out by a woman if he enters the women's bathroom. I still don't believe it. I just tried it and it is true. My son and I just entered the door. He was kicked out.

No matter how decent a man is, he must show dignity in my territory. No matter how chaste the martyrdom is, I will let them take off their clothes naked. Don't ask me why, you open a bathhouse, you are willful?

When you are old and lying in bed, I will ask you if you drink water? You shake your head. Do you want to eat fruit? You still shake your head. I'll ask again: Can I use Bu Lai Feite for you? Open your eyes wide, with tears in your eyes, brother, help me up and try. .

My girlfriend went shopping for clothes. When she came back, she sat on the sofa angrily and said, "I'm so angry. The clothes seller said I have no waist!" Her boyfriend quickly advised her: "Don't listen to that person. Nonsense, isn’t your waist covered under your head?”

In order to save her husband Xu Xian, White Snake fought against Fahai at Jinshan Temple, causing a flood that flooded Jinshan Temple. Fahai turned his cassock into a long embankment to block the water and guard Jinshan Temple. The people nearby were very grateful to Fahai and sent them a banner with four characters: "Guardian of the Golden Mountain."

Teacher: There was news this morning. The content was that a child was hit by a car and flew out. 80 meters without any injuries, because the bottom was cushioned by a schoolbag full of books, so knowledge changes fate. Xiao Ming: If he hadn't been carrying such a heavy schoolbag, he would have crossed the road long ago. Teacher: Get out.

A man is willing to marry a woman who sets up a roadside stall because he thinks she is a good, self-reliant woman; on the contrary, no woman is willing to marry a man who sets up a roadside stall because all she sees is A poor man with no future! This is life, this is real reality!

Today I passed by a village with my friends and saw that the place was on fire and getting bigger and bigger. My friend saw me decisively abandoning me and running towards the fire. I thought, wow, what a great man, what a hero, what a living Lei Feng. ?When I caught up with him, damn, he actually ran over to take pictures and post on Weibo. I instantly felt like I had made an inadvertent friend.

When I got home from get off work, I found that the elevator was broken, so I had to climb the stairs, but I live on the 18th floor! I was half exhausted after climbing to the 15th floor. Suddenly I saw the elevator opened again. Although there were still three floors, I decided to take the elevator. When I entered, I found that it went downwards. All the way down to the first floor, there was an elevator station. He said at the door: "The elevator is broken and needs to be repaired. It is stopped now."

I remember when the price of coal rose, the electricity department yelled and couldn't bear it, and the electricity company raised the price regardless of the price. Electricity bill. The price of coal has dropped significantly this year, from 700 to 800 yuan last year to more than 200 yuan this year, a drop of more than three times. But the electrical company pretends not to know why the price is not lowered? I hope you forward it and don’t think it has nothing to do with you.

Today my neighbor Lao Yang was called to school by his son’s teacher. Teacher: "Your child is so naughty. He put thumbtacks on the chair where the female classmate is sitting." Lao Yang: "He is only 9 years old. He is a child and is not sensible. He just made a prank. Let him say Just apologize, why do you have to call the parents?" Teacher: "The problem is that he said the nails were poisonous, and he took off the girls' skirts and helped them take drugs..."