The complete works of the king of jokes

The complete works of the king of jokes

Complete works of the king:

1, an actor came back from his performance and said to his friend: The performance received a good response. When I performed in the open-air square, the audience applauded for a long time. ?

His friend said,? Next week's performance will not have such a good effect. ?

The actor asked:? Why?

The man replied:? The weather forecast says it will cool down next week, so there will be fewer mosquitoes. ?

An illiterate person saw a bunch of people reading the notice, so he bought two biscuits to eat together. He looked up at the notice, closed his mouth and pretended to be reading something carefully.

An old lady wants to know what the notice says. Seeing that he was eager to read, she asked him, what is that?

? Sesame cake?

The old lady pointed to the wall and said, I mean, up there. ?

? Up there? There are sesame seeds on it. ?

The old lady pointed to the words on the notice and said, No, I asked about black! ?

? Black? The black one is burnt! ?

There was a young man who was very stingy with money. Many girls have failed, and his parents are very anxious. On this day, he asked the matchmaker to take him to a girl's house for a blind date.

Glancing at each other, the young man didn't say anything. The matchmaker asked, What happened? Are you in love?

The young man said:? Only the mouth is too big and the lips are too thick. ?

The matchmaker said, What's wrong with that?

? Of course, what a waste of lipstick for makeup. ?

4. One or two people are very fond of bragging. One day, a man came back from other places and said, I have seen a soybean taller than me outside.

The other said, I have a millstone at home. One day, I fell down and got up three days later.

? There is such a big millstone! ?

Another: How can I grind your big soybean without my big millstone?

Complete works of the king:

1. When I was a child, every time I asked my mother for money, my mother always said: What do you think I am, a bank?

In fact, for a minor child, parents are banks.

If you really go to the bank to ask for money yourself, the cashier will definitely say: What do you think I look like, like your mother?

2. The teacher said:? Liu Yiyang's lines in Naked Marriage:? I have no car, no money, no house and no diamond ring, but I have a heart to accompany you to your old age? Its unreliable degree is similar to:? Although I didn't read books, attend classes, review or do problems, I have an indomitable heart. ?

3. Confucius was the pioneer of Weibo's literary style, and The Analects of Confucius was the earliest collection in Weibo;

1. Each Analects does not exceed 140 words;

2. Concise and profound;

3. More scattered, mostly for Confucius to bask in the mood and exchange philosophy;

4. Strong interaction, often interacting with Zigong, Yan Hui and Luz;

Confucius has more than 3000 fans, 72 of whom are V-sized.

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