Joke country highway

I met Sister Furong, fell in love with Sister Furong, and married Sister Furong.

Once upon a time, a ghost farted and died.

The first story, paranormal.

I remember a piece of paranormal that my sister told me. .....

My sister has a friend who has a little son who is about three years old. ....

One day, he found his son waving at the window and said, "goodbye, uncle!" " "

My friend disagreed at first. .....

I thought it was my son talking to a passing uncle in the street (because his family's life is very low).

But I feel that his son always says this sentence around dusk.

I ... but I can't see anyone outside the window ... The more my friends think about it, the more scared they are. ....

So I asked my son who to say goodbye to. .....

The son replied, "with uncle!" " "

The friend asked again, "There is no one outside! Which uncle did you tell? "

The son pointed to the outside and answered him:

"Which uncle?

Uncle Sun! ! "

The second story is on a country road.

On a winding country road, there are often some ghost stories because of frequent car accidents. One night, a taxi driver saw a long-haired shawl and a woman in a white dress waved to him. Because the driver has never seen a ghost, he is courageous. I stopped to let her get on the bus. Along the way, although the driver didn't believe in ghosts, he was also Mao Mao, so he often turned a blind eye to the woman behind him. I was driving when suddenly the driver found that the woman was gone! The driver got a fright and stepped on a brake! I saw that the woman appeared again, her face was covered with blood, which was terrible. The driver was too scared to say a word. I thought to myself: it's over, I really met a ghost this time! When I was nervous, the woman spoke:

"ah! Driver, I'm just afraid of being seen by you. I'm sorry, so I bent down to pick my nose. Who told you to brake so hard? Look, I have a nosebleed! "

The third story is the head outside the window.

Just these days, an old man came to the village. The old man looks haggard and depressed, but perhaps because no one knows him, no one pays special attention to him. As a result, at night, the old man was found hanging himself in the Woods! Moreover, the hanging place is behind Xiaojing's home, and even the old man can be clearly seen through the bathroom window!

In the evening, Xiao Jing came back because the body was quickly disposed of. So Xiao Jing didn't know, and then Xiao Jing went to take a shower. Because the bathroom is very small, it is close to the transom when taking a shower. Just in the middle of washing, Xiao Jing looked up and saw the transom. What I saw at that time made Xiao Jing stiff! Because she saw a head! Xiao Jing can't move, but her head keeps looking at her! At this moment, the colonel actually smiled! And said:

"Elder sister, are you shocked?"

The fourth story died of eating instant noodles.

My brother doesn't like my mother's cooking very much, but he likes instant noodles. One day, my mother didn't cook, and my brother wanted to eat instant noodles. My mother scolded him: "You won't go out to buy lunch without your mother cooking, will you?" Eating instant noodles is not nutritious! ! "

My brother said, "I just like eating. How's it going? ! "

"Alas ... mom told you that instant noodles are really not a good thing. Your father once had a young lady in the company. In order to save money and send it home, he eats instant noodles at noon and night in the morning. Eating instant noodles every day, she died three months later! "

(stunned): "Really?"

"How could mom lie to you?"

"Really, how did she die?"

Well, something happened when I bought instant noodles. .....

The fifth story car accident

In high school, there was a scene in the fruit and vegetable market in front of Huazhong Bridge (thrilling). ....

Because the fruit and vegetable market is the dividing point of many cars, and it is also the off-duty time, the people in our bus are packed, and the people standing at the door of the car, including their faces, cling to the door like geckos.

After the driver and others came up, they started to set off. Because they were going to get on the bridge, he kept stepping on the accelerator to speed up. By the time I found an old woman crossing the road ahead, it was too late to brake!

I saw the old woman lying on the road in front of the car, motionless, and a pile of intestines flowed out of her side and began to ooze blood. ......

Some people started screaming ... some people were speechless, but the driver was pale and afraid to get down in his seat. When the driver in the car began to blame the driver, something strange happened. ......

Suddenly, the old woman stood up trembling, took out a broken plastic bag and began to pick up the intestines, muttering, "How to eat the intestines you just bought?"

No.6 story bento

Tell you a ghost story, it's horrible!

On a silent moonlit night, a traveler crossed the mountains and unfortunately got lost.

Just when he was hungry and cold, he finally found a thatched cottage far ahead.

He ran up happily, knocked on the door and shouted, "Hello?" ? Then an old woman came out to open the door.

After the traveler explained his purpose, the old grandmother kindly gave the traveler a box of lunch and promised to stay at her grandmother's house temporarily that night.

The next morning, when the traveler woke up, he was surprised to find that there was no thatched house around, and he slept on the ground. Not to mention the grandmother, but the walker is not afraid, and he is very grateful to the grandmother, thinking that she is the incarnation of Bodhisattva and has come to help the poor.

So he bowed in place and left with gratitude. After a long journey, I finally returned to the village.

After he came back, he told the story to everyone. After a long time, someone finally said, "The grandmother you mentioned, she died three years ago. Hearing this, Monkey's heart darkened, and suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his body and shouted:

"No ... I, ... I ... I ate an expired lunch!"

The seventh story is Yin and Yang eyes.

There is a senior who wants to ride home with a younger brother with yin and yang eyes.

At first, the senior warned his junior: "Wait a minute, no matter what you see, don't tell me!" " "

After a while, they passed by the cemetery, and the senior shouted and grabbed her clothes. .....

The junior said, "learn ... learn ... senior ..."

The senior shouted, "Shut up! I do not want to hear anything! "

Junior said, "But ..."

Senior: "Don't tell me what you see!" "

After a hurricane arrived at its destination, the senior said, "What did you want to tell me just now?"

Junior year: "When I passed the cemetery, I wanted to tell you that you dropped your wallet, but you rode over without looking back ..."

The eighth story died on the same day in the same year.

Ali was working overtime when she suddenly felt a cold wind blowing from the north.

Ali feels very strange. How can there be wind blowing in an airtight office building?

Looking back, the clock on the wall points to 1 1.

Ali thought that she might not be able to finish it today, so let's continue tomorrow. Thinking about it, I turned off the computer. After packing, he walked out of the office. Unexpectedly, the elevator is being renovated today ... Ali thought: it's over, the office is on the 0 th floor 165438+ ... so we have to take the stairs downstairs. Fortunately, I went downstairs, otherwise I would be exhausted. When Ali just came downstairs, she always felt that someone was following her behind her, and I couldn't help thinking of the cold wind in the office just now. Although Ali got goose bumps all over, she couldn't hide her curiosity. Looking back, I didn't look well, only to find that my friend Xiaohong, who died of cancer three months ago, was glaring at her. ......

"Why don't you keep your word? ! Why not keep your promise? I'm lonely here ... so lonely ... "

Xiaohong said as she approached Ali. ......

"Ah _ _ _ _" Ali fell from the window on the tenth floor. ......

Xiaoxiang and Pearl Krabs are good friends of Ali and Xiaohong. ......

After attending Ali's funeral, they discussed Ali's death in a tea world hall.

Xiaoxiang: Pearl Krabs ... Do you remember? Shortly after Xiaohong's death, Mei Mei died in a car accident ... now it's Ali. .........

Pearl Krabs: Hmm ... I also have a feeling ... could it be Xiaohong ... her? .....

Xiaoxiang: It is possible. Xiaohong came for her life. It can't go on like this. Otherwise, even you and me. .....

Pearl Krabs: I know a mage. His practice is deep. Let's ask him to help us.

When Xiaoxiang and Pearl Krabs arrived at the mage's Dojo, the mage correctly pointed out that Xiaoxiang and her dead friend were sworn sisters. At that time, the five agreed that they could not be born on the same day in the same year, but would die on the same day in the same year. So after Xiaohong died, she remembered her previous agreement and came to find other sisters. ....

When Xiao Xiang and Pearl Krabs heard this, they quickly turned to the mage for help. The mage ordered the young apprentice to bring a plate of mung beans and a red bean, mix the beans together and recite the spell. Later, he told Xiaoxiang and Pearl Krabs that he was negotiating with Xiaohong. If Xiaohong promises not to kill them, let the mung beans float on the red beans. Xiaohong disagreed, and red beans floated on mung beans. The mage said that he would try his best to save Xiaoxiang and Pearl Krabs, and it would take a week to communicate with Xiaohong. After a week, Xiaoxiang and others were invited to see the results, and Zheng covered the plate with a red cloth.

Xiaoxiang and Pearl Krabs finally survived a week of fidgeting. They came to the Dojo together, and the mage ordered his disciples to take out their plates. When the mage opened the red cloth, his face changed greatly ... Xiaoxiang and Pearl Krabs saw that the mage's face was wrong, and quickly grabbed the plate. ......

The little apprentice said helplessly, "Master ... I told you earlier ... the Dojo is too humid. You should buy a dehumidifier ... Look! The beans are sprouting! ! ! ! "

The ninth story likes eating apples before his death.

One dark night, the taxi driver passed by a remote street to get his car home. It happened that a woman was waving to get on the bus by the roadside. The driver thought it was just on the way, so he gave her a ride.

Along the way, it was quiet.

Suddenly, the woman spoke. She said, "Driver, here is an apple for you. Very delicious. "

The driver took it and bit it.

The woman said, "Delicious."

The driver said, "It's delicious."

The woman replied, "I liked apples very much before my death."

Wow ...&; * # @% Hearing this, the driver braked in fear and turned white. .....

I saw the woman slowly tilting her head to the front and slowly saying to the driver, "Don't be afraid, I'm not finished yet. After giving birth, I said I don't like eating! " "

The tenth story: the ghost in the toilet

Xiao Wang went to his cousin's house in other places to play. When chatting with my cousin, my cousin told him that there are ghosts in the toilet here, but if you don't take things from ghosts, ghosts won't hurt you. It may be the cause of acclimatization. In the evening, Xiao Wang had a terrible stomachache, and there was nothing he could do. Xiao Wang had to bite the bullet and go to the toilet in fear.

Xiao Wang Gang squatted down and heard the ghost voice: "Do you want red toilet paper or white toilet paper?"

Knowing that he couldn't stand ghosts, Xiao Wang replied, "I always use newspapers."

It seems that Xiao Wang has dysentery. After a while, Xiao Wang went to the toilet again. However, this time he was not afraid.

When the ghost saw the little queen, he held out his hand and said, "Want Want & gt or>? "

"I have been using sports newspaper."

In the evening, Xiao Wang went to the toilet for the third time.

The ghost asked, "Do you want it? Or >

Xiao Wang trembled and said, "I ... I ... I just want to pee."

The eleventh story is a female ghost with no feet.

There is a female freshman at Qingda University who works very hard. One night, after reading this book, she felt very tired. Looked at his watch, it's past one o'clock. I heard from my senior that the night view of Lake Xiang Si is beautiful. So I want to go there for a walk. When she reached the lake, she suddenly felt someone patting her on the shoulder. She turned around and saw a pale woman. The woman said, "junior, I have no feet." "Primary school sister don't think look at the strange woman's feet, really don't think so! My primary school sister started to run, but the female ghost followed her all the way and said darkly in her ear, "I have no feet, I have no hands, I am so miserable ... My primary school sister felt very annoyed and happened to be near the dormitory. So he turned to the female ghost and shouted, "I am worse, I have no breasts!" " "

The twelfth story has no body or ghost.

One day, members of a track and field team were running on the track and field late at night. As a result, he saw a head shaking up and down in the dark. He was so scared that he couldn't even run if he wanted to. Then he stopped moving, stopped in mid-air and looked at him with a straight face. He wants to run fast, but he feels weak all over. Slowly, the head turned and floated away. Go to a place with bright spots. He didn't see it clearly. It was a girl dressed in empty black with a skipping rope in her hand.