Do you have any funny jokes? thank you

1, a hotel. One day, the guest found a fly in the dish and said with a smile, "Boss, it seems that this meal is on you." The boss laughed again and again, but he felt very uncomfortable.

A few days later, these guys came again.

I ate almost all the food, but I found a fly. I frowned and called my boss. The boss patted him on the back of the head: "It is obviously five, why is there only one?"

2. A man and one of his friends are shopping in the store. Suddenly, two robbers broke in and robbed him. When the robbers began to search the customers' pockets one by one, the man suddenly felt his friend poking him gently and whispered, "Take this."

"Don't give me a pistol, I don't want to be a hero."

Friend: "Take it quickly, here is the 25 yuan I owe you."

3. A congressman has lunch in a restaurant.

Hotel owner: "Do you like this dish just served? Congressman. "

"Not bad, but potatoes account for an absolute majority in the whole dish."

4. Patient: "Doctor, my memory is getting worse."

Doctor: "How serious is it?"

Patient: "I always forget to buy a ticket when I get on the bus." When you go to a restaurant, you always leave without paying. "

Doctor: "Oh, you pay the medical bill first, then we can see the doctor."

1. Leaders went to Miluo for investigation, and the local tourism bureau was responsible for reception.

Walking down a mountain, the tour guide said to the tour leader, "There is a scenic spot ahead."

The leader asked, "What places of interest?"

The tour guide said, "It's spring, Quyuan Spring."

The leader asked again, "What spring?"

The tour guide repeated: "Quyuan Spring."

The leader scoffed: "I know pinyin!"

2. A boss went on a business trip for a few days. Because of loneliness, he went to a nightclub to find a beautiful little sister and spent 1000 yuan. In order to avoid the investigation of the wife in charge of finance, a receipt for maintenance was issued. Remarks: The weather is very hot and the tire is flat, so we need a new tire.

3. A leader read aloud at the briefing: "Yesterday, I went to your female director's house, and I touched her ..." Paused and turned over a page: "The situation." There is an uproar below. . .

4. One post: I haven't seen my boyfriend for a long time. I really miss him. I decided to stay with him for seven days. What surprise should I give him?

I saw a reply on the first floor: Give him a cycle. ...

5. I accidentally found that the mobile phone actually has a flight mode. This coke ruined me. I turned on the flight mode, took a deep breath and threw it into the sky. Guess what, he fell and the screen broke! I thought you were cheating! !

6. A MM said: It's too hot. It would be better to take the subway. Crowded. Crowded. You wipe me, I wipe you, Estee Lauder on the left arm, Mentholatum on the right arm, and a big treasure, but Nivea was wiped when I went out.

Once upon a time, there was a match that didn't like washing hair. Once, when he was walking on the road, he felt his head itch, so he scratched and scratched too hard and his head caught fire. It was sent to the hospital in time, and there have been cotton swabs in the world since then.

2. Who gave Andy Lau the water to forget the year? Aha, because aha, give me a glass of forgetful water.

Mm-hmm. Is it a man or a woman? Woman, because aha, this person is mother. .....

3. Once upon a time, there was a bean. His wife went out of the wall and he became a mung bean. One day he committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became a red bean; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans; He woke up after surviving, joined the entertainment circle and became a edamame; Later, he saw through the world and resolutely came out, and finally became a curved (pea) bean.

4. Tang Priest and his disciples are walking on the road. "Riding is too tiring," said the Tang Priest. Change the means of transportation! "

The Monkey King said, "Change planes. That's faster. "

Pig Pig said, "The plane won't do. If you want to change, you will change God Seven. "

Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, "I heard this thing can be sent to the west immediately."

5, can't sleep at night, count the moon, fall asleep in the middle.

6, centipede: It feels strange to wear shoes in the morning. Why do I have an extra pair of shoes for no reason?

7. Failure is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you still believe this sentence.