Jokes for kids

Jokes for children:

1. I want to marry a mosquito

Little Bee said: "Mom, Mom, when I grow up, I want to marry a mosquito." mosquito". Mom asked: "Why?" The little bee said: "Because the mosquito sings beautifully, you see, as soon as he sings, everyone will applaud!"

2. The baby listens to the concert

Dad takes the baby to watch the violin The concert started, and the baby was not interested. One hour, two hours passed, and the people on the stage were still playing the violin with endless interest. The baby finally couldn't help it and asked his father loudly: "Dad, when can he saw open that wooden box?!"

3. Pregnant women

A little girl was playing in the park and saw a pregnant woman with a big belly. She walked over and asked: Auntie, what is in your belly? The pregnant woman replied: It's my baby. The little girl asked again: Do you love your baby? Of course, the pregnant woman replied. Then why did you eat him?! The little girl scolded loudly.

4. Can’t drink water

My brother and his brother were eating watermelon together, and the brother accidentally swallowed a melon seed. The younger brother became anxious when he saw it, and said to his elder brother: "I told you before that seeds will germinate and grow when watered. You must not drink water, otherwise watermelon seedlings will grow in your belly, and then a watermelon will form. That's it." Oh, it’s so uncomfortable.”

5. I have to change back when I get off the bus

Xiao Ming took the bus to go to school. It was around seven o'clock in the morning and there were many people on the bus. Xiao Ming was secretly glad to have a seat. At this time, a little girl held an apple and said to Xiao Ming who was sitting: I will exchange the apple for your seat.

Xiao Ming is a glutton, and his mouth watered when he saw the red apple in the little girl’s hand. He immediately took the apple from the little girl’s hand and gave his seat to the little girl. Xiao Ming wiped the apple with his sleeve and was about to take a big bite. The little girl sitting in his seat said: Don't eat it. I will exchange it for you when you get off the car.

6. The baby can use a rag

The baby held a rag and said happily: Mom, I have learned to use a rag! Then what did you wipe? I just wiped with it. I passed the table, wiped the toilet, and wiped the floor, and now I am preparing to clean the dishes.

7. He grew so big overnight

A scholar taught his son to recognize "one" After a while, the boy remembered it. The next day, when the man was cleaning the table, he drew a horizontal line on the table with a rag to test whether his son could recognize the word "一". The boy couldn't recognize it at all. The father said: "This is the word '一' that I taught you yesterday!" The boy opened his eyes wide and said in surprise: "After only one night, the word '一' has grown so big!"

8. The lying teacher

On the first day of school, Bobo came home from school. "How is the new teacher?" Mom asked. "It's not good at all. She likes to lie." "How could it be? Don't talk nonsense." "In arithmetic class, she first said that 3 plus 3 equals 6; after a while she said that 2 plus 4 equals 6; before the get out of class was over, she said Say 5 plus 1 equals 6. ”

9. Vision

Mom: Baby, why do you still wear glasses when you sleep? The baby said: "My eyes are not good, I'm worried that I can't see clearly when dreaming."

10. Children and cats

The children sit at home and eat. The cat walked up to him and meowed "Mimi". The child threw a piece of meat to the cat. The cat ate it and meowed again. The child threw another piece to it, and it ate it and still cried "Mimi". The child got angry and stood up and said loudly: "Sit on my seat and let me moan, and give me meat to eat!"

11. The biggest eyelids

Teacher : "What is the biggest thing in the world?" Student: "Eyelids." Teacher: "Why?" Student: "As long as you close your eyes, the whole world is covered."

12. Biology Biologist

A biologist put a flea in his hand and said to the flea: jump. The flea jumped. Then the biologist broke the flea's legs and said to the flea: jump. The flea didn't jump, so biologists concluded that a flea becomes deaf when its legs are broken.

Then the psychologist jumped up and said: It got angry because its leg was broken. LZ, who deliberately didn't jump after seeing it, said: In fact, the three of you are right. Everything is composed of many aspects. You all just look at it. It's just his side.

13. Three Turtles

Three turtles came to a restaurant and ordered three pieces of cake. As soon as the food was brought to the table, they realized that they didn't even have any money. The big turtle said: I am the oldest, so of course I don’t have to go back to withdraw money. The middle turtle said: It would be most appropriate to send the little turtle. The little turtle said: I can go back to get the money, but after I leave, none of you are allowed to touch my cake! The big turtle and the middle turtle agreed, and the little turtle left. Because his belly was empty, the big and medium turtle quickly finished his share of the cake. However, the little turtle disappeared. On the third day, the big and medium turtles were really hungry, so they all said in unison: "Let's just eat the little turtle's share." Just when they were about to eat, the little turtle's voice came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to withdraw the money!"

14. The meaning of too

Teacher: "Tai means supreme, like the Supreme Emperor, space, etc., do you understand?" Student: "I understand, no wonder my father calls my mother Mrs.!"

15. The Worst Thing

Teacher: "Is there anything worse than when we bite open an apple and find a worm inside?"

Student: "Yes, Only half of the worm was found."