83 funny sentences that are popular on Douyin

1. Don’t be lazy with me, I’m too lazy to compete with you!

2. You say it’s because the weather is cold, but I say it’s because my heart is cold.

3. When your hair grows to your waist, I will give you a pair of scissors.

4. When you receive the test paper, buy a lighter.

5. If I am single on Chinese Valentine’s Day, I will bet 50 bottles of Wangzai.

6. I have an appetite that I shouldn’t have at this age.

7. If you don’t chat with me, are you afraid that I will steal your emoticons?

8. There are no stars in your eyes, they are all eye droppings.

9. You should feel free to gain weight. Losing weight is someone else’s business.

10. I am so cute that even mosquitoes want to kiss me.

11. Those who love me will definitely become rich, and those who don’t love me will make bricks.

12. When I transform into a swan, you are still an egg.

13. Although I will not die if I admit defeat, I will not admit defeat even if I die.

14. The tortoise can beat the hare, but in fact they just go their own ways.

15. At the same age as a flower, it has grown into a succulent one.

16. Those who have lovers celebrate Valentine’s Day, and those who have enemies celebrate Di Renjie.

17. Sometimes being fat is also a kind of beauty. At least I am fat but not greasy.

18. I wanted to live in my husband’s heart, but I didn’t expect to have many neighbors.

19. Dreaming about being eaten by a dog, and then living a life like a dog.

20. The gods and horses are all clouds, so now I start to believe in donkeys.

21. You ignore me today, but I will come to see you tomorrow.

22. Only those who have worked hard know how important background is!

23. The virus fell in love with my computer, and I could only help them.

24. I bought a razor online, but my hands were shaking and numb before I finished shaving.

25. Beauty and ugliness are determined by destiny, fatness and thinness are determined by heaven, and I live by this sentence.

26. Come hang out with me. If I have a bite to eat, you will have a bowl to wash.

27. God closed a door for you, and then went to wash up and sleep.

28. When others praise me, I worry that they don’t praise me enough.

29. If a man doesn’t help you put on your wedding dress, give him a cassock.

30. I want to touch you. If you are not convinced, you can kiss me back.

31. Today’s classmates are so rude and don’t even talk to me in class.

32. Missing is a short-term regret; mistake is a permanent regret.

33. Just because I looked at you a few times in the crowd, I have been blind since then.

34. It’s cold. If you have someone to hug, let’s put some clothes on if you don’t have someone.

35. Hello: Lend me your daughter for one year, and I will give you one, one, and one baby next year.

36. I am really a carefree person. As soon as the summer vacation left, I was thinking about the winter vacation.

37. There is only one worry when you are not full, but there are countless worries when you are full.

38. Winter is so cold. How did the earth do it? I want to learn from it.

39. Trying not to love someone is much harder than trying to love someone.

40. I just want to be a little devil. I am not afraid of anything. I just want to be surrendered by you.

41. After learning martial arts for so long, I finally got the opportunity to be embarrassed.

42. For the rest of your life, you will be the one doing the laundry, you will be the one cooking, and you will still be the one washing the dishes.

43. I want to be your heart. If you annoy me, I will stop beating.

44. People are divided into groups, which is why my lists are so beautiful.

45. If being handsome is a mistake, then I am already so wrong that I don’t want to do it anymore.

46. I only have one requirement when looking for a partner: to get along well with my other partners.

47. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

48. Don’t make excuses for yourself in everything, and don’t blame the lack of gravity for constipation.

49. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future but no way out.

50. Some people can make you feel distressed if they are serious, and some people can give you toothache if they are not polite.

51. Don’t ask me why I didn’t do well in the exam. It was because the weather was too cold and I was confused.

52. The so-called true love is when two people are obviously so ugly, but they still worry that the other person will be taken away.

53. When you feel scared at night, look under the bed. Remember, you are not alone.

54. Be my girlfriend and I will protect you and not let my other girlfriends find you.

55. No matter how tiring or difficult it is, just treat yourself as a two-hundred-and-fifty person; no matter how difficult or dangerous it is, just treat yourself as a two-skinned person.

56. I heard that ugly people should study more. No wonder my mother said that I was not good at studying since I was a child.

57. I dropped my phone so many times but it was fine. Later I thought about it, but my height saved it.

58. Rich people are afraid that others will know that they are rich, while poor people are afraid that others will know that they have no money.

59. After taking the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words should only be spoken to those who understand.

60. If no one in the world wants you, you must remember that there is still me, and I don’t want you either.

61. When the value of the decorations on your body exceeds your intrinsic value, you are fashionable.

62. When I don’t want to care about you, it’s useless for you to coax me. At this time, you have to send me a red envelope.

63. I understand the truth, but I still can’t help but look back when I hear others calling me beautiful.

64. The two main reasons why you can’t finish your homework are sitting next to a funny guy with a mobile phone in his hand.

65. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future but no way out.

66. I know very well that you are going to be mentally retarded and out of control, but I really want to see something.

67. We are no longer children. We cannot be coaxed by one lollipop, but at least three.

68. After cutting my hair, the barber asked me how it was. I was silent for a while and said to him: As long as you are happy.

69. There is always a kind of selfless person in the world. They would rather make themselves unhappy than make others unhappy.

70. When I was young, boys liked electric toys and girls liked dolls. As you grow up, it's the other way around.

71. Being in a daze, if done well, is called deepness. If you don't do it well, you're more likely to fall asleep.

72. I have a problem: I dare not ask for leave, because I am afraid that if I ask for leave, the company will know that it will be the same with or without me.

73. I feel so scared every time I walk alone at night. It’s so dark and I’m so beautiful, I’m really afraid that others won’t see me.

74. You can steal my sentences or my expressions, but if you steal my heart, I will call you husband.

75. The current underground parking lot is designed like a maze. It takes a long time to find it every time before you find that you don’t have a car.

76. I finally understand why most couriers are men, because if they are women, they will be removed for you halfway.

77. I know that I have a bad temper. If you can't bear it, you should reflect on yourself and why others can.

78. Yesterday, someone asked me if I was alone on Chinese Valentine’s Day. Nonsense, it’s not a person. Could it be a dog? Now that I think about it, it's true.

79. I have been single for a long time. When I was taking the bus, a girl rubbed my shoulder, so I even thought about where our children would go to school.

80. I am a good-tempered person. If one day someone steps on my bottom line. What will happen? Then I will lower the bottom line further.

81. I have been suffering from insomnia recently. Until last night when I went to bed, the quilt was turned upside down. The end that usually covers my feet covered my face, and then I fainted!

82. We will meet again in a few decades, and we will all be burned into ashes in the crematorium. We will be piled on top of each other, and no one will know each other. We will all be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer.

83. A classmate and I often skip class, and the teacher always asks us to call our parents. Later, my classmate's father said to him: My son, we can't go to school. I've been to school more days this semester than you.