Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - If we don’t meet in front of the mountain, we won’t meet behind the mountain.
If we don’t meet in front of the mountain, we won’t meet behind the mountain.
There has been no news about Spinach's whereabouts recently. When I was listening to music yesterday, I saw him posting a song update. The name was very weird and obscene, called "Rukawa Kaede and Aoi Sora".
When I looked at the title of the song, it was really heavy, but after thinking about it, I thought it was reasonable. Who said it was spinach? I wanted to call him obscene and lewd. Before I could say anything, after reading a few lines of text on the song list, my fingers froze in mid-air.
The post posted by Spinach was very long. I thought it was like usual, it was a joke he copied from somewhere. But the more I read it, the more familiar it became. After reading it, I realized that he was talking about me.
Above this song, Spinach wrote:
I went to your WeChat two days ago and scrolled up from your latest news one by one, and found two Years ago, you also shared this song. But we are just like what the lyrics say: Missing is distanced and diluted by time. Reality is like an eraser, erasing the romance of the past. You now have such a wonderful boyfriend. If we don't meet in front of the mountain, don't meet behind the mountain. As long as you live well, that's fine.
I also know the girl Spinach is talking about. She is pretty, quiet, gentle and approachable.
In high school, the three of us were assigned to the same class. I was an out-and-out scumbag, and a scumbag must be treated like a scumbag, so my seat was assigned to the back row. location.
Of course, Spinach is better than me, and is worse than me. He should have sat in the row behind me, but because the row behind me was just a white wall, I had no choice but to accept him. he.
Spinach is a very dishonest guy. He likes to read pornographic books during class. He says that this way is more exciting and exciting, just like having an affair. Spinach also said that Sora Aoi was his goddess, and it was because of her that he had the illusion of growing into a man instantly.
It can be said that my precocious thinking at that time was largely due to the influence of spinach. In the days when pornographic books did not exist, Spinach created his own pornographic novels for me to read. The pornographic novels created by Spinach were so rich in imagination, gorgeous in diction, and clever in grammar and rhetoric that I couldn’t help but click my tongue and pat my legs in praise. .
I say spinach, even if you use half of your skills when writing essays, you won’t fail the Chinese language.
Spinach expressed disdain for me, saying that my skills must be used on things and things I like. If a person has no ethics, he is no different from a salted fish.
Later, Spinach liked to silently peek in one direction during class, with an ever-changing expression on his face, like a fool.
At first I thought he was obsessed with writing pornographic articles, but later I realized something was wrong. There was something clearly dancing in his eyes, and the smile on the corner of his mouth looked very happy.
So I followed the gaze and found that at the end of my gaze was lychee.
I know that Spinach is in love. I am a little happy for him, but at the same time I feel sad for myself. Because Spinach had other things to read during class, he never took out his pornographic book, and the pornographic novel he created for me has been discontinued since then, with no follow-up.
But I know that Spinach is a coward and doesn’t dare to confess to others, not to mention that Litchi is the daughter of Teacher Li in the next class. Speaking of this teacher, everyone knows that he is famous for being strict. No one dares to mess with him, let alone his daughter.
Spinach is timid, but he is smart. During a class group seat change, Spinach took the initiative to apply to the class teacher, hoping to sit in the row behind Lychee.
For the sake of Xiao Jiujiu in his heart, Spinach gave up even his integrity. He wrote a self-reflection letter to the teacher. The general content was: If he could be honored to sit behind Litchi, he would change his mind and be a new person.
He wrote more than a thousand words eloquently about this. I guess he used all his usual skills in writing pornographic articles. So much so that this review made the students blush and the teachers became silent.
When Spinach moved away from me, I was still a little reluctant to let go, but Spinach, the grandson, opened his mouth from ear to ear with joy, and his lips almost touched his ears.
Spinach said to me that I can no longer accompany you to read pornographic books. From today on, I will study hard and make progress every day. After saying that, my nostrils were turned upward, my eyebrows were raised, and all I needed was a red scarf tied around my neck. On.
However, Spinach finally had a conscience and gave me all the remaining little pornographic books before leaving. However, without Spinach’s company, those large volumes with yellowed paper became boring to read. Tasteless.
Later on, Spinach rarely came to play with me, because most of the time after class, he would shamelessly huddle with Lychee, pretending to be serious about discussing geometry with her. When it came to passion, Spinach's head moved shamelessly towards Lychee, and his eyes reluctantly moved from Lychee's face to the exercise book.
The figures of the two people were shrouded in the soft light from the window, and the edges of their bodies seemed to be coated with a golden film. The fine dust showed silvery white under the sunlight. It was flying all around, rising slowly.
Their smiles are clean and transparent.
Later, spinach and lychee naturally stayed together.
At that time, he always borrowed my pocket money, saying it was used to recharge phone bills. He sends hundreds of messages to Lychee a month and buys me enough snacks to eat several big meals, as well as gloves, scarves, perfume, and dolls. It didn’t take long for spinach to come and eat my rice.
I thought at that time, why do people fall in love when they are free and happy? One person buys ice cream and enjoys it, but he has to drag another person to eat it. As a result, he doesn't get to eat the entire ice cream. You see, spinach is the perfect example.
During the holiday after the final exam, I was playing games in an Internet cafe when Spinach sent me a message saying that the final results were out.
Me: How did you do in the exam?
Spinach: Failed the exam!
Me: That’s good.
Spinach was stunned for a few seconds, and then replied to me: It was Lychee who failed the exam.
I thought to myself, it’s none of my business if I fail the test. I ignored him and continued playing my game.
When school started, Lizhi didn’t come to report. I heard that she was transferred to the next class. I also heard that spinach dumped lychee. Later, I asked about the plot of the breakup, and it was nothing like the bloody plots on TM TV.
Spinach said to Litchi, let’s break up!
Litchi said, OK!
The two broke up peacefully. It only took two months from the initial happiness and sweetness to becoming strangers after the breakup and no more entanglements.
Later I heard that after Lychee and Spinach broke up peacefully, she became a bit weird. She was unwilling to talk to anyone and often sat in a corner alone in a daze.
I thought to myself, Spinach hurt Lychee badly, but he himself seemed unscathed. But no matter how disappointed Spinach was, he was still my friend, so I didn’t say anything to him, and I never mentioned this relationship to him again.
On New Year’s Eve three years later, when two gentlemen were drinking cans of beer along the road, Spinach took the initiative to mention lychees to me. At that time, the fireworks were in full bloom overhead, and the strong wind made people's faces turn red.
Spinach said that during the summer vacation after the final exam, Teacher Li from the class next door invited me to have a meal. The food she ordered was hearty and she also ordered a bottle of wine.
I thought Teacher Li was going to beat me, but he always looked at me with a smile, asked me about my recent living conditions, and then kept asking me to eat food and pouring me wine, but he didn’t mention it. Lychee thing.
When he finally left, Teacher Li said lightly: Spinach, did you know that Lychee’s grades have dropped sharply recently?
I felt so guilty at the time that I nodded vigorously, my head was pounding, and my ears felt like they were filled with water.
I didn’t hear what Teacher Li said clearly after that. I only remember one sentence: You are not birds in the same forest. If Lychee wants to fly farther, don’t trap her.
When Spinach finished telling this story, he pulled his collar closer to his ears, stopped and watched the fireworks.
Spinach said that she didn’t know where Lychee was now or how she was doing, but she would definitely look up at the fireworks at this moment. Because Lychee said that she loves watching fireworks the most. Lively, gorgeous, charming, romantic, and giving people a sense of happiness.
Last summer, Spinach and I got together to eat charcoal pot chicken. The stars in the sky were shining brightly together, and the moon was so big that it was about to fall.
Spinach kept staring at the phone in the smoky fire. I finished the freshly cooked chicken nuggets and pork belly, but he didn’t see it either.
I turned sideways and twisted my waist 180 degrees to look at Spinach’s mobile phone screen, and found that Spinach was peeking at Lizhi’s latest Moments updates. So I let out a long sigh, and Spinach immediately came to his senses, as if he had been caught stealing something, panicking.
I said to Spinach, since I can’t bear to delete her, let me help you. It's very uncomfortable to watch it every day.
Spinach groaned and started picking up vegetables, saying that I shouldn’t think too much, just taking a look. After finishing this meal and drinking this glass of wine, I deleted it.
I don’t know if it’s because the coal gas at the bottom of the boiling pot is too strong, or because I just drank a glass of strong wine, but Spinach’s eyes are filled with red threads.
New Year’s Eve six years ago. The white snow on campus has not yet melted away. There were fireworks and firecrackers roaring in the distance.
Lychee stood next to Spinach. The two of them had happy smiles on their lips, but they didn't even dare to hold hands.
Lychee said to Spinach, I love watching fireworks the most. Lively, gorgeous, charming, romantic, and giving people a sense of happiness.
But, it was too short.
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