Can you find me a lot of jokes and good text messages?

One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because there was no Geely license plate number in the garage.

The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess with it. Not bad! "

The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day!

The rich man got out of the car angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but left as soon as you got off the bus. The original license plate of the other party is 44944 (try it).

When I was a freshman, a buddy in my upper bunk talked in his sleep every day. One night, he said shyly, "I'm pregnant." We all fainted.

A boy who was usually humiliated in the dormitory shouted in the middle of the night: "The tank is coming!" "According to the survey, this is really a talk in a dream. There is also a lesbian theory-a girl in the dormitory suddenly said in the middle of the night: "Two pieces of bread, two handsome boys, the bread has gone bad, and the handsome boy is gone ..."

A high school classmate, a GG, suddenly sat up in the middle of the night and shouted, "Look at me slapping you!" " "Then lie down and go back to sleep.

I used to listen to my roommate tell me that in the middle of the night, he suddenly said, "My industrial and commercial password is …………………………………", but I didn't get a "yes" for a long time, which made the two buddies anxious. After hearing this, I was extremely cold ... I immediately went out and changed my password.

I remember chasing a girl and asking for her phone number. I was afraid of forgetting and kept nagging. I didn't expect to ramble in my dreams when I slept at night. As a result, my mother heard it and called the girl the next day. Make of girls never ignore me, depressed. ...

We had a month's military training in the army, and our meals were poorly controlled every day. A buddy shouted in the middle of the night: "That piece of braised pork is mine, don't grab it!"

G jun is the only one among the students. On weekdays, CS plays too much. One night, his mother came into his room, turned on the light, and suddenly heard: "Ah! Somebody throw a flash bomb! ! ! "

It is said that there is a person in our dormitory who loves to sleep and often snores! One night, I suddenly stopped snoring, and I was ecstatic ... and then at 2 o'clock in the morning, I heard a bang! ! The whole dormitory woke up. It turned out that he kicked down the bookcase under his feet and the books splashed all over him. Then I heard him turn over and say, "You're out of your mind!" Everyone was speechless and went back to sleep. At about 5 o'clock in the morning, he woke up. First he gave a "yi" and then he swore at who did it! ! Everyone fainted together! ! I will never forget ...

When I was reading in the middle of the night, MM across the bed suddenly sat up, looked at me straight for ten seconds, nodded and said, "Well, not bad." I asked, "What are you doing?" She fell asleep with a snort, so scared. ...

A buddy in the same dormitory, in the upper bunk, one day, the baffle of the bed was broken, and before going to bed, he worried and said, "Won't it fall off at night?" In the middle of the night, suddenly "plop", the gentleman sat on the ground, wrapped in a quilt, and said to himself, "Oh, it really fell ..."

Our dormitory is unique. One person suddenly shouted "help" in the middle of the night, and another person replied, "Who is calling for help so late?" Then two people continue to sleep.

The university suddenly woke up at night and saw a figure dangling in front of the third bed. Turn on the light! It's the old six in the dormitory next door, touching our old three's head. Mouth chanting: "the melon is ripe, the melon is ripe." Then we go to bed and don't forget to lock the door. ...

A brother in our dormitory talks in his sleep at night and shouts, "Please don't kill me!" " "Everyone is depressed, speculation. The next day, they went to the canteen to have breakfast. In their sleep last night, they heard a group of MMs at the next table say that their dormitory is a MM: "I must kill you! " "

When I was in college, a gentleman in my dormitory got up in the middle of the night and shouted, "I love Fang La!" " ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

A girl sat up, her hands drenched with rain, raised her head and said, Come down, come down, I want to blossom. ...

Pupils laugh at the composition, but they are not responsible for it!

Monday arrived ... After handing in his homework, Jing Wong was immediately called to the penalty station by the teacher at noon and read "I won't lie to the teacher again" for 500 times.

Why? Why is this teacher so cruel to this fragile pupil? Let's see how her composition is written. ...

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Sunday

Today is Sunday. Although we went to Ocean Park to play until 1 1 pm yesterday, we got up early today and went to Taiping Mountain next to Ocean Park to pick fruit, because my grandparents live in Taiping Mountain.

At the foot of Taiping Mountain, we took off our shoes and began to climb the mountain. It took about 1 minute to reach the top of the mountain. The air at the top of the mountain is very good. Grandpa took us to his orchard.

Wow ... Grandpa's orchard is so big, many fruit trees are planted, including watermelon tree, strawberry tree and pineapple tree ... Because I am too young to climb trees, Grandpa climbed the watermelon tree, picked the biggest watermelon and threw it to Dad, and Dad picked it up with one hand!

There are many fruits growing on the ground of the orchard, such as apples, pears, coconuts, etc ... Grandpa picked some coconuts, peeled them with his hands, removed the seeds and gave them to everyone. Coconut is delicious! I ate more than 20. Cousin also threw a coconut in my face, killing me!

After the fruit dinner, we went to the Himalayas next to Taiping Mountain to play. We heard the teacher say that the Himalayas is the highest mountain in the world.

Sure enough, the teacher didn't lie to us. My cousin and I climbed and climbed. It took about 2 minutes to reach the top of the mountain. I'm so sexy.

Later, we still felt very hot, so we went to the top of the mountain to soak in hot springs. What a cold hot spring ~ Himalayas is really a good place.

Later my cousin asked me if I had any money. He saw McDonald's near the top of the mountain. Cousin, you always borrow money from me!

When we were still shopping, we heard my mother calling us home in Taiping Mountain, so we had to leave reluctantly. Taiping Mountain and Himalayas are really interesting places, and we will ask our parents to take us to play in the future.

Dad said that if I won the first place in this exam, he would take me to Tokyo, Beijing and Nanjing this Sunday. I want to go to Xijing most because my cousin lives in Xijing.

She said that in fact, textbooks are deceptive. There is a mountain in Xijing that is higher than the Himalayas. It takes about 3 minutes to climb it. There is also a big night market and children's playground, as well as a clear stream.

I must study hard and let my father take me to these places to play.

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Lecturer's comments:

The content is full of contradictions and exaggerations.

I don't know what to say, this is something I have never seen in more than 20 years of teaching.

Please pay attention next time.

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This time, the teacher asked to write 600 words of travel notes. With the last experience, Jing Wong didn't dare to scribble any more, but actually wrote down the situation that his father took him to the animal and plant park on Sunday.

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Sunday

This morning, my father took my family to the animal and plant park. Along the way, cicadas kept twittering, twittering, twittering, twittering, twittering, twittering, twittering. Making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making. Making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making. Making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making. Making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making, making. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep.

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Lecturer's comments:

The content is real and can be changed.

But the whole article uses more than 500 words "zhi"

I have been teaching for more than 20 years and have never seen it.

Please pay attention next time.

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The teacher learned well this time, fearing that the students would write a phone call indiscriminately and ask for 600 words of travel notes, but he wanted to bring up the learning experience of the day. Jing Wong and his mother climbed the mountain this time and looked through the textbooks carefully. Finally, he found that one thing verified the knowledge in the textbook and happily wrote it down for the teacher.

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Sunday

Today, my mother and I went climbing. When I get to the top of the mountain, my mother says there will be an echo on the quiet mountain.

My brother and I tried to shout "How are you?"

Sure enough, about three seconds later, I heard:

How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you?

How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you?

I haven't changed a word. I finally realized the sonic reflection in the textbook. What a meaningful day.

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Lecturer's comments:

As a teacher, I am very happy to learn from it.

But the whole article used about 200 sentences of "How are you?"

I have been teaching for more than 20 years and have never seen it.

Please pay attention next time.

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It is said that the teacher couldn't get used to Jing Wong's lazy composition and stopped writing travel notes. Think about how to stimulate the potential of Jing Wong's composition, and then write another one:

The most unforgettable thing

Jing Wong tried to think hard with a pencil and finally wrote a sketch book. After handing it over, he thought to himself, Teacher, don't punish me any more. He couldn't help giggling.

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When I came home from school last Friday, I saw a lot of shit in front of my house. At that time, I ate a catty: "Who is so wicked to shit in front of my house?" 」

I'll call my sister out at once. She ate a kilo. "What a heartless woman!" She said. Poor thing! "My sister asked me to take a broom to sweep together.

Mom came out to see it when she knew. She also ate a catty and cried, "Evil! 」

Dad heard his mother's cry and came out to have a look. He also ate a kilo. "Who did it? 」

Mother Wang, the neighbor, just came back from shopping and ate a catty. Uncle Wang and Wang Xiaoming came out and ate a catty. In a short time, a dozen people gathered and everyone ate a catty. Finally, they dialed 1 19. After eating a catty, the firemen finally got rid of that shit. This is the most unforgettable thing.

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Lecturer's comments:

advance

Note that the typo is "taken aback" rather than "ate a catty"

This thing always weighs 20 kilograms. Who has this ability?

Don't copy downstairs! thank you