Classic jokes, hilarious jokes, classic jokes.

1, a little buddy who has been practicing Sanda for three years, thinks I am tall and burly, so he has to practice with me. In less than two minutes, I knocked him down and beat him up. He stood up and said sadly, I practiced Sanda for three years, but you beat me to the ground. It's really a waste of practice. . . Have I practiced radio gymnastics for 9 years? Let me tell you! Hum, people with real kung fu are so low-key

When my wife went to the toilet in the morning, she suddenly shouted and I rushed over. She said that she dropped her mobile phone in the toilet and could buy her an iphone6 tomorrow. No, I said that Nima underestimated my IQ and dropped my mobile phone in the toilet. Then why does Nima still have the SIM card in her hand!

3. Just now, a car in front of me suddenly braked and stopped in the middle of the road, with various horns behind it. At this time, a hand stretched out from the window and waved a torn steering wheel. Everyone is quiet.

When I was a sophomore, I went to my classmate's house and saw his sister-in-law nursing the baby. Out of politeness, she touched the child's face and said, the baby is really good, fat in vain, really beautiful! His sister-in-law blushed and whispered that the child was asleep and his face was over there!

5. After the colleague gets married and the bride finally gives the bouquet to the bridesmaid, the emcee asks the bridesmaid to dance or sing. The bridesmaid said it was inconvenient to dance in skirts and high heels today, and then she heard the audience shout: Then do a handstand! So the audience was quiet for a second, and then burst into laughter. .

6. I watched a TV interview with Zhang Guoli as emperor. He said: you watched the performance with good scenery and gathered in front of each other to bow. Just listen to the director shout card, and then shout for dinner. People around him made a fuss and left him alone in the dragon chair. Thinking about the scene at that time, I smiled.

7. Some people obviously have low emotional intelligence, but they don't speak frankly.

8. Recently, the Deputy Chief of Staff of the Vietnamese Army declared that if China made a move in the South China Sea, the Vietnamese army would attack Beijing by land! Violent reply: If you don't brag, you will die. A bunch of poor people were forced. Can you afford the gas and high-speed tolls from Guangxi to Beijing?

I was rear-ended by a car this morning. The driver is still making trouble and can't get on the bus. In my temper, I went to find the goods with a wrench. , no, big brothers! Let's put the gun down, okay? I have surrendered. I'm really not a robber. Have you ever seen someone rob an armored car with a wrench? ! ! ! ! I recently took a driver's license test and brought a Yuxi to my coach every time I went. Today, my mobile phone in the examination room is missing. I borrowed the coach's cell phone and called mine. Just dialed, the note on the mobile phone is Yuxi!

10, read a piece of chicken soup for the soul: "Your father decides your starting point, your own process, and your wife decides your result." I thought for a long time, and I translated this sentence into: "You are the second generation of diaosi. If you have enough trouble and no hope, find a rich woman. " Do you think it's right?