Tell 100 jokes

At the reception, a woman asked the man next to her, "Who is that ugly guy across the street?"

"It's my brother." The man replied.

The woman said, "I'm sorry, you look so alike." Why didn't I see it? "

A buddy is constipated. One day, he worked hard in the public toilet for a long time, but nothing happened. At this moment, he heard a man rush to the next door and slam the door. Then he heard a scratching sound. The elder brothers said enviously, "You are so happy. I can't get down for a long time! "

The next door was silent for a long time and scolded: "Sorry, I haven't taken off my pants yet!" " "

A lame man went to a company to apply for a job. The company manager asked him, what's your specialty? The lame man took a step forward with his left leg and said confidently. My left leg is very special. .

The reporter interviewed an old lady! The reporter asked: "What do you think of setting off firecrackers casually in the city?" Grandma: "What else can you see? Is to climb the window to see ... "

A buddy works in a bank, just as a teller. One day I called to complain and said, * * * *, today I met an old lady who insisted on complaining about my ugliness and made her forget her password. . . .

There is no more naughty child than my nephew! During the Spring Festival, he hid a small firecracker in one of my cigarettes. As a result, I handed the cigarette to my relatives who came to pay a New Year call and lit it for him. ...

My baby is just full moon. I tease my wife: Look, our baby's feet are different!

Wife scolds: Yours is different, mental derangement! !

My coat: M D, let me see if your left foot has grown into your right foot! !

My wife sprayed it. ...

The Sixth National Census Office counted the most hilarious names in China:, Lai (still male), Fan Jian, Ji, Xia, Zhu Yiqun, (thanks to parents' imagination), Pang Guang, Du Qiyan, Wei, Jiao Hougen, Shen Jingbing and Du Ziteng. First place: Shi

Seeing that other people's wealth in their twenties exceeds 100 million, 10 billion, billions, I will be 5 million, still pixels ~ ~ ~

A surgeon went to KFC for breakfast, and when he was waiting in line to buy something to eat, he found that the waiter in the bar always subconsciously touched his ass and asked with concern, "Do you have hemorrhoids?" The waiter whispered politely, "Sir! Would you please click on the list?

What's your status? You have an ID card.

Is this a turning point? It's obviously the breaking point.

Counting sheep is done by foreigners, because sheep sleep and sleep are homophonic, and jiaozi also counts them.

"It is the duty of every citizen to despise you."

Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day I dreamed that I was taking an exam.

Then I suddenly realized that something even more terrible had happened. It turned out that I was really taking an exam.

My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is: handsome is not obvious.

I'm really not a celebrity, I'm a celebrity.

An upright man is open and poised, the little man hides his penis!

Four major sorrows: eating soup and scattering crotch, wetting shoes, shitting and breaking paper, and farting and breaking shit.

Anyway, I have a female colleague named Li Rui and a male colleague named Li.

This fish is delicious. It would be better if there were no thorns.

-Do you really like Sleeping Beauty?

-Yes, but I haven't slept with beautiful women.