Hao Jian's sketch, you have lines.

The essay "You're in Trouble" is written by wang hong, Wang Hongkun and Tian Hao, starring Sun Tao, Amanda, Wang Xihua and Fang Qingping. Lines:

Security guard: "Born in a small mountain village, the city will work hard. Put on security clothes and hand over your youth to the door. I'm very proud. The place I am guarding is not an ordinary place, but an office building. People in this building will keep writing. Our leader said that during the Spring Festival, safety work is the most important. Anyone who enters the building must bring a card, and those without a card are not allowed to enter. If I go in, I will be fired. " ?

Zhao Zong: "Hey, what's the matter with you? Why hasn't it arrived yet? "

Security guard: Sir. Zhao Zong: I asked where have you been? Can't you hurry? Hey hey. . Security guard: Sir. Zhao Zong: Who should I call sir? What a beautiful expression.

Security guard: Ah, it's a woman. It is too complicated. Do you have a card? Zhao Zong: What brand? Security guard: sign for entering the building. Zhao Zong: No way. Security guard: Sorry, you can't go in without a permit.

Zhao Zong: Do I still use my card?

Security guard: Ah, our leader said that if it is an individual, you need to get a card. Zhao Zong: Who are you talking about? Security guard: I'm not saying you're not human. I mean, people without cards are not people. I mean, you have to bring a permit to enter this building. Zhao Zong: You are new here today.

Security guard: "I'm not new here today, I'm new here yesterday." . . " ? Zhao Zong: Do you know who I am? Security guard: I don't know. Zhao Zong: Zhao Zong is on the third floor of the building. Security guard: Oh, Zhao Zong on the third floor. I don't know him.

Zhao Zong: I'll just go in 10 minutes, get something and leave. Security guard: Sorry, you can't go in without a card.

Zhao Zong: "Oh, you are so stubborn.

Security guard: I am very flexible when you have a card. Zhao Zong: I'm telling you, I'm bored today. "

Security guard: "I am very happy today. . . "？ Zhao Zong: I just went out from here. Don't you see? Security guard: I didn't see it. Zhao Zong: I had a cup of coffee in the coffee shop opposite. You didn't see it. Security guard: I didn't see it.

Zhao Zong: Then I went to the bathroom from the coffee shop. Don't you see? Security guard: I didn't see it. I'm a security guard in the building, not in the bathroom. Zhao Zong: You must have seen me coming out of the bathroom. Security guard: I didn't see it. I'm fine. I can't keep staring at the bathroom. Zhao Zong: Don't look at this or that. What do you see as a security guard?

Security guard: card. Zhao Zong: You know the cards. Who do you think you are? Zhao Zong: "Aren't you just a janitor?" Security guard: "I am a janitor, I am proud." ?

Zhao Zong: Well, I won't make you proud today. (Picking up the phone) Xiao Wang, the security guard downstairs won't let me in. Yes, find me a leader. (pointing to the security guard) I'm telling you, you're in trouble. You are in trouble. Who is it? Miss Liu from the public relations department. Great. Miss Liu's phone ...

Security guard: Miss, I don't know.

Zhao Zong: Find me another leader, OK. (pointing to the security guard again) You are in trouble, you are in trouble, you. Whose building is this, Wang Shuji? That's great. Come on, Secretary Wang called ... Security: I don't know the secretary. Zhao Zong: Find me another leader, OK. Security guard: I'm in trouble, I'm in trouble.

Zhao Zong: Which leader? Monitor of security class. Oh, what's the use of finding a small leader? This small monitor security guard: Hey, this man works. (Picking up the phone) Hello, monitor. It's me. Yes, yes, she is very manic. The arrogance is very arrogant. No, no, this is our quality. Yes, we are cultural people. Okay, I understand. I understand. (Then turns to Zhao Zong) You go in.

Zhao Zong: Do I have a business card?

Zhao Zong: May I come in? Security guard: Yes. Zhao Zong: Are you still proud? Security guard: I am proud. (Zhao Zong swaggering upstairs) (Zhao Zong, security guard) Look at Zhao Zong. She looks like a male hormone.

(Here comes the money sender) (The security guard says) Big Sister sends money: Who is the big sister? She is a man. Security guard: man, alas, false mother! Money giver: Bah. Security guard: Comrade, do you have a card?

Sender: What card? Security guard: the card for entering the door. Money sender: No security guard: Sorry, you can't send money without a license: I'm looking for someone.

Security guard: Who are you looking for? Deliveryman: Zhao Zong on the third floor. Security guard: Oh, that manic woman. Money giver: Do you know each other? Security guard: No. We have a rule that you call her to come down and pick you up.

Money giver: My mobile phone is dead! Security guard: Oh, you can take a taxi to recharge and come back. Deliveryman: That's too late. I am in a hurry. I send money to Zhao Zong. Security guard: What's wrong with sending money? You didn't send me money. Savior: Brother, let me in.

Money giver: Honey, help! (security guard: don't do this) Please, honey, (security guard: what are you doing) be good. (security guard: don't do this. ) Be obedient. Security guard: Stop! Pay attention to your feelings!

Money giver: Dear ~

Security guard: Stop! Will you stop screaming? I can't stand the excitement. Back off, I'll call Zhao Zong and ask her to come down and pick you up. Boy, the people in their company are very different.

Money giver: thank you, dear ~ security guard: dear! (Put down the phone in a hurry) (The security guard says to the money delivery man) You stay away from me. (Then picks up the phone) Hello, Zhao Zong, hello! I'm the security guard downstairs. I am the security guard who just stopped you downstairs. Yes, I'll talk to you ... Security: She hung up, she hung up! (Then puts down the phone) Money giver: I'll call her!

Security guard: No, this is an internal phone. Deliverer: Can I pay the phone bill? Security guard: No! Money giver: Ten dollars will do! One hundred will do! Security guard: Are you rich?

Shipper: Yes, I am rich. My box is full of money. Security guard: I tell you, you can win a corrupt official with this money, but you can't win a clean security guard! Postman: You won't let me in, will you? Security guard: I just won't let you in without a card!

Money giver: You are in trouble, you are in trouble.

Security guard: Is this the slogan of your company? ! Money giver: Why bother? Will you let me in? (Pushing the security guard) Security guard: Ah, what are you doing? Savior: Will you let me in? (Pushing the security guard) Security guard: Ah, you dare to do it, right?

Money sender: I don't have to do it. (chest hits the security guard) Can you let me in? (Aha) Will you let me in? (Aha) Will you let me in? (Aha) Security guard: You hit people with your chest! Deliveryman: What's the matter? Security guard: You stand back.

Money giver: I won't refund it. Security guard: Oh, you stepped on my foot. Money giver: Why don't you let me in? I'm looking for Zhao Zong. Why don't you let me in? (Migrant workers then came to power)

Security guard: (to the money giver: don't shout) (to the migrant workers) Comrade, do you have a card?

Migrant workers: ah, no.

Security guard: Sorry, you can't go in without a permit. Migrant workers: I have something urgent to find someone. Security guard: Who are you looking for? Migrant Workers: Zhao Zong is on the third floor. Security guard: Ah, you are looking for Zhao Zong, too. (migrant workers: ah. ) Zhao Zong's hit rate is quite high. (migrant workers: hey! Wait a minute. I'll call her and ask her to come down and pick you up.

Migrant workers: Thank you! Security guard: (picks up the phone) Hello, Zhao Zong. Hello, I'm still the security guard downstairs. I called you just now, and you hung up. Do not hang up. I'm telling you ... she hung up again, she hung up again! Migrant worker: Brother, please let me in. Security guard: What do you want with her?

Migrant workers: I asked her for money! There are dozens of people working in her company in our village. The Spring Festival is coming soon. I'm here for money! Security guard: Are you a migrant worker? (Wang Xihua: Ah) Ask her for a salary? (Wang Xihua: Ah) I don't think you can get the money. Migrant workers: Why? Security guard: Why? Zhao Zong's quality is very low, and he is very manic today. Let me ask you, will she postpone the money today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow?

Migrant workers: Yes! Oh, she asked me to go to the bank yesterday. I've been waiting all day. She said she didn't get the money. Today, she asked me to wait at the bank for another day. She also said she didn't get the money. (Sun Tao: Look) I just called to be here. Security guard: Look, this is a lie! I'm telling you, she just said, just go up for ten minutes, and then leave right away. (migrant workers: go? ) She's running away! (migrant workers: run? ) She's going to abscond! Migrant workers: abscond? Money giver: nonsense, the absconder asked me to send money!

Security guard: You are so stupid. You need money to escape. Migrant workers: Oh, my God, what should we do? Dude, let me in! It's not easy for me farmers to earn some money, big brother! Money giver: Yes! Migrant workers: If we can't get this money, how can we have the face to go back to the village, big sister! How dare I see everyone, big sister! How dare I live, big sister!

Send money: big sister! Big sister! Who is your elder sister? I am your big brother! ... being taken advantage of again, I hate ... migrant workers: Oh, people? What a surprise! (to the security guard) Brother, why is everyone in the city like this? Security guard: Calm down, I'm used to it! Migrant workers: Big Brother, let me in quickly!

Security guard: elder sister, I tell you, I sympathize with your situation. I'm from the countryside too, but I can't let you in. We have rules here. If I let you in, I have to get out of here. Migrant workers: I beg you! Money giver: It's no use begging him. He wants you to come in. I call him dad! Migrant workers: I beg you! (to the security guard) Big Brother!

Security guard: You go in! (walks up to the money giver) You scream! Deliveryman: She can't go in.

Security guard: Why can't she go in? Deliveryman: She doesn't have a card. Migrant workers: Yes, I don't have a card.

Deliveryman: You can't get in without a card, can you? Sun Tao: (turns to hang the card around the eldest sister's neck) (turns to face the money giver) Can she go in? I tell you, from now on, she is a licensed woman! Deliveryman: You can't enter that either. Security guard: Why can't she get in? Money sender: She can send money, but why can't I get in as a money sender?

Security guard: Can you compare with others? Money giver: Why not? Security guard: You give money, and people want money. (giver: ah, what's the matter? ) ask for money! Deliveryman: What's the matter? What happened to Qian Nan? Security guard: It costs money. She is proud of asking for money!

Migrant worker: (to the security guard) Brother, you are really a good man! Security guard: I know, I am really a good man. I'm telling you, sister, you'll go in and see that Zhao Zong later. Just forget it． That man is very manic! As soon as you meet her, go up and grab her and ask her for money. Migrant workers: Is she going to run? Security guard: Run? You just shout catch the hooligan.

Migrant worker: (whispering to the security guard) Zhao is always a woman! Security guard: (shouting) What happened to that woman? Female hooligans are even worse! You haven't seen Zhao Zong. He is very manic. If the boss of that size doesn't pay back the money owed by the migrant workers, she will abscond. She is still alone. (Zhao Zong goes downstairs) Migrant worker: (implying security) Stop it. Security guard: Why didn't you say anything? Isn't she ashamed of what she has done? Isn't she ashamed?

Migrant workers: Stop it! Security guard: What's the matter? I'd say you're Zhao Zong. (The money giver immediately stands at attention) Alas, alas, you still stood at attention when I mentioned the word Zhao Zong. You-you're an apple polisher ... (turning to see manager Zhao salute).

Security guard: (turning to whisper to the money giver and migrant workers) When will she stand behind me? Why didn't you remind me?

Migrant workers and money givers (in a low voice) (in chorus): Reminder! Security guard: You didn't remind me enough. Zhao Zong: (loudly to the security guard) Go ahead. Security guard: (turns to face Zhao Zong) I won't say anything. Zhao Zong: Why?

Security guard: I'm tired. Zhao Zong: I don't think you dare say. Security guard: Zhao Zong, do you owe money to other migrant workers? Ah, I tell you, you are in trouble. You are in trouble. Sender: (to Zhao Zong) Sister, what's wrong with you? Zhao Zong: Gee, do you have any money?

Money sender: Ah, 500,000, not a penny less. Zhao Zong: (to the security guard) Come here and I'll give you a word. Security guard: You don't have to bribe me. Anti-corruption starts with security. Zhao Zong: You should bear the legal responsibility for spreading rumors and slanders. Security guard: "I'm not afraid. Let's see who goes first. Who do you think you are? Do you think you can pay your debts if you have money? Do you think you have the right to covet the country's money? Do you think that opening four hukou books can control the housing supply? Two words for you: it's over. I tell you, if you don't return the money to your elder sister today, you won't come up with this door. "

Migrant worker: (to the security guard) Don't worry, big brother. Maybe Zhao Zong will give me the money.

Security guard: (to migrant workers) Aunt, you are very kind. How can you trust her? How could she give you money? If she can give you money, I'll call her grandma.

Zhao Zong: Here you are. (He said he gave 500,000 RMB to migrant workers) (Then he said to the security guard) Hoo! (Audience boos: Wow, call grandma) Security guard: (Pointing to the person who gave the money) He called me. Thank you!

Migrant Workers: Zhao Zong, thank you! Zhao Zong: Sister, I'm sorry to have worried you. In fact, I am the most anxious person all the year round. There was something wrong with the company's funds, so I borrowed 500 thousand from their boss. Don't worry, I don't owe money to migrant workers, and I don't owe my conscience anything! Migrant Workers: Zhao Zong, I wish you a New Year on behalf of the whole village.

Zhao Zong: Say hello to everyone for me, too. Hurry home for the New Year. Migrant workers: (to security guards) Hey! Brother, I thank you too! I also gave you a New Year call! Goodbye! Send money: (to Zhao Zong) Sister, you are a real man. Zhao Zong: (To the money giver) Step aside. Money giver: (pats the security guard) Stupid! (Then leave with the migrant workers)

Security guard: I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. Zhao Zong: (to the security guard) Wait for my lawyer to call you tomorrow. Security guard: Zhao Zong, don't disturb the lawyer. After work, I will take off my clothes and leave. Zhao Zong: What, are you going to abscond? Security guard: (sobbing) I have no money.

Zhao Zong: Come on, don't cry. Can't you be a man? Security guard: I am really inferior to you in this respect. Through this, I found that you are really a man, Zhao Zong. Zhao Zong: Then why don't you follow that man quickly? Come on, stop crying. I called a lawyer to sign a contract with you. Please come to work in our company. Our company needs a serious and responsible person like you. You, this is a good thing. Security guard: Zhao Zong Zhao Zong ... (crying) You are fine. What do I do in your company?

Zhao Zong: Watch the warehouse and take care of it. Hey, you can't go in without a card. Security guard: Oh, the security guard kept it, and it was leveled. . . Zhao Zong: If you don't work hard, your salary will double! Security guard: the work is not tiring, and the salary is doubled. (dumbfounding) I accidentally ran straight to a well-off society. I am proud! Zhao Zong: Let's go. Security guard: (laughs) Zhao Zong, do you have a card? (Zhao Zong says and takes out his card)

Security guard: (imitating the appearance of J-15 carrier-based aircraft commander giving take-off instructions) Go!

Extended data:

Introduction of characters in the play

Sun Tao,196865438+was born in Shandong on February 26th. Actor of the General Political Drama Troupe. Graduated from the performance class of drama department of PLA Art College.

1995, first appeared on the stage of CCTV Spring Festival Evening, and performed the sketch "picket".

200 1, participated in the first film "Son, Dad tells you".

In 2002, she participated in the TV series "The Woman in Charge" and played Jules. ? In 2006, he starred in the TV series "Da Song Xing Guan 2".

In 2009, he performed the sketch "Lucky Three Guarantees" in CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

20 1 1 Starring in the urban emotional drama Ten Years' War between My Mother-in-law and I, playing the heroine Li Qiong. On February 9, 20 13, he performed "You have something to do" for the ninth time in the Spring Festival Evening, playing a conscientious security guard. ? On June 5th, he starred in the TV series My Hometown Shanxi-Chahar-Hebei. ?

On February 7, 20 16, he performed the sketch "Don't worry" in CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

2065438+2007,65438+127 October, Yan Xuejing and Liu Yiwei performed the essay "True Love Will Stay". 20 18, and Amanda and Wang Hongkun performed the sketch "Give Suggestions" in CCTV Spring Festival Evening. /kloc-starred in the TV series "Ah, folks" in September of 0/3.