You probably picked it up from the trash can.

? There must be one of the top ten lies of this century: you picked it up from the trash can. When you were young, because you were young and ignorant, because your parents avoided talking about sex, you never knew where you came from. Actually, you can't blame your parents. You should blame the pedantry of the times. When you grow up and know the relevant knowledge, this question will completely become a joke. But it is precisely because of this that your parents' avoidance when you were a child, coupled with their silence when you were growing up, led you to have nothing to say when you were old.

No.65438 +0 teasing children

There is a very important branch in China's "education" system, which is called teasing children's culture.

What do you mean? That is, when a child is not fully grown up and has no ability to distinguish between good and evil, but has the ability to know people, things and himself, he is fooled and played by adults.

For example, when children are four or five years old, they like to eat candy. Some adults put candy in front of him to coax him, but don't give it to him. When children want it, adults quickly put their hands away and hide the candy. When the child began to cry, the adults took out candy and continued to coax him. At this time, the children were already crying, while the adults were laughing. Of course, the spectators around also smiled.

I don't know whether this popular culture has been circulating in China since ancient times, or whether it is a wonderful way to pass the time developed in modern times. Moreover, this phenomenon is often seen that any family may be staged, passed down from the previous generation, and the next generation will continue to inherit. To tell the truth, this vulgar culture is not much better than the disco in the ancient tomb.

I say this because I suffered this when I was a child. However, I can usually only be bullied. Finally, my mother said, "Stay away from these adults, so they won't bully you?"

Well, what she means is that I take the initiative to provoke them. This concept of stealing is quite slippery, just like: Why do they only hit you and not others?

Damn it, I don't know why they only hit me! ! !

Seriously, this evasive question-and-answer way, first, doesn't want to get yourself into trouble, and second, thinks that the child is still young and forgets the bully after a while. This is a typical case of getting over the scar and forgetting the pain. Adults planted seeds for you when you were young.

Now every time I go home and see adults teasing children at home, I quickly stop it. If the phenomenon is serious, I will lose my temper. Whether the other person is a friend or a relative. Respecting the elderly and loving the young requires us to respect the behavior of the elderly, not their age. There is an essential difference between the two, which shows that not everything the elderly do deserves respect.

Second, exploit the topic.

When I was a child, I asked my mother: When will you come back?

She said: Soon.

I asked my dad: When will you come back?

He said: Soon.

One thing I wanted to know most at that time was: how fast is fast.

By the time I knew it, I had grown up.

The education level of our parents' generation is generally not high, and most of them graduated from primary school. Rare junior high school graduates are all intellectuals. So they have no culture, and it is really difficult for them to say anything knowledgeable to us.

But for all kinds of problems in life, parents didn't explain and educate them, and even didn't take them seriously, which was inevitably disappointing.

For example, when you were young, you would ask them: Can you not go out to work? Can you stay with me?

Parents said: if you don't work and have no money, you will starve to death if you don't have money to go to school.

Most parents can only say that, whether you understand it or not, they can only say that. Because of the limited culture, I can't say more. Even if they do, they don't know if you understand. So let's talk about these stereotyped answers. Some parents simply don't talk about it, because they think there is nothing to talk about, and they will think that you will understand their pains when you grow up.

The initial intention is good, but what if you don't understand? What if it doesn't grow up?

That's my brother. Teenagers are rebellious and infected with internet addiction. The original results are quite impressive. After switching to the game, the game level is quite awesome. (League of Legends, second stage of electric drill, or higher) Later, I was often beaten by my uncle, and I was badly beaten. My father often talks about him, which makes me very uncomfortable. My brother doesn't want this. When he was young, he had no company. He went astray halfway and no one helped him. My uncle has little education except fighting.

There are a large number of left-behind children in southern China. These people have almost no childhood, and even if they do, they follow their grandparents or grandparents. So they hardly have the same language as their parents. As for the reason, I can understand it if I think about it. Children's world is very simple, there is not so much understanding and incomprehension, and I will kiss whoever I am with. This is a child's way of thinking.

Small as children are, they listen to reason. For example, when I was a child, I was someone else's child. It is no exaggeration to say that it still is. Parents don't teach their children well, only know how to beat and scold, or perfunctory things, which will only increase the distance between the two generations, and this distance will get longer and longer with the passage of time.

Thirdly, silence replaced communication.

When you grow up, you will definitely have a rebellious period, and then you will encounter problems such as not listening to your parents and seeing nothing pleasing to the eye. Tired of learning, hormone surge, confusion, fighting. Such a period of time, each of us will experience, not surprisingly, our parents will also experience.

As you grow older, your horizons and experiences begin to expand, and you begin to explore the meaning of your existence and think about the value of life. But because the three views are not established and perfected, you will fall into a long exploration period. During this period, you began to oppose your parents, but because of their incomprehension, you began to walk away gradually, so that in the end, silence often replaced communication.

Whose fault is this?

Parents.

Nonsense, parents, of course. As I said before, many people enter junior high school and senior high school as left-behind children. Their parents did not maintain proper communication with them when they were young, and there was basically a generation gap in junior high school and senior high school. This is what I'm talking about. As time goes on, the distance of this inability to communicate will become longer and longer.

Kid.

Nonsense, children, of course. Although parents are wrong, they should be considerate and understand. Don't use childhood loneliness as an excuse to treat your parents as enemies. Parents are only guides, and whether they can become talents ultimately depends on themselves. This sentence is suitable for all ages. Only by relying on yourself can you fulfill yourself. What kind of person do you want to be? If you really want to be, then only you can achieve it. Outsiders or external forces can only assist, but can't play a decisive role.

The solution to the problem lies in communication. No matter which side closes the valve of communication, the problem cannot be washed away. Parents feel that the child is wrong, and the child feels that the parents have no responsibility. In fact, it is not helpful to solve the problem. Silence can never replace communication.

NO.4 communicate with your heart and communicate actively

Adults should not always fool their children with their busyness. These words are lying to fools, and children are not fools.

Let me put it this way: first of all, children don't care if you have time. When you are with them, they realize that you are good and everything else is useless. If you only know how to give money to your child, gradually, he will never ask you for time again, but only for money. Anyway, in his eyes, you always say you don't have time. For example, if my parents call me now, I will say that I am busy and have no time. Think about their feelings. When I was a child, my parents coaxed me like this, which made me feel bad. Now that I have grown up, don't attach this discomfort to them.

Adults must want their families to get better and better, but they can't find a way to communicate. This phenomenon is especially common in families with gradually improving economic conditions, because they are no longer busy making money and want to bring back a few family ties. But this time, the child has already flown away, and he will not pay attention to the insincerity in these eyes.

Therefore, before the distance is opened, it is not too late to mend.

The most important thing to change must be children. In this process, the mental journey must be particularly difficult, but since we think that life is getting better and better, we must face life with a positive attitude. Whatever happened to you in the past is over, isn't it? You see, I can still say these words to you here now, which shows that I have become better.

There is a good saying: maturity does not teach you to hate the world more and more, but to treat the world more and more gently. I am gentle to the world now, just as I am gentle to myself. Because of this change, I am also very gentle with my family now.

Please believe one thing, no matter what attitude your parents have towards communication, please go ahead bravely with the goal of making your family and yourself better, that is, be gentle with them.