Weatherall, the abandoned grandmother, translated it into Chinese.

Classic stream of consciousness works, please enjoy it slowly ~ ~ ~

Dr. Harry's short, thick fingers carefully grasped her wrist, but she gently pulled it out and pulled the sheets to her chin: children should wear shorts. Even wearing glasses on the bridge of the nose, touring medical treatment in the countryside! "You give me go, take your textbook. I'm not sick. "

Dr. Harry's open slap, as warm as a soft cushion, stuck to her forehead. The veins stood out on her forehead quivered up and down, and even her eyelids twitched involuntarily. "Okay, okay, obedient, lovely. We will make you better soon. "

"For an old lady who is nearly eighty years old, don't think that you can speak with this attitude when you are sick. I have to teach you to respect old people, young people. "

"Well, I'm sorry, miss," Dr. Harry patted her on the cheek. "But I must remind you, don't you think so? You are really something, but you have to be careful, or you will regret it all your life. "

"I don't need you to tell me what will happen to me. Mentally, I can manage myself completely. The problem is cornelia. In order to avoid her trouble, I have to go to bed. "

She felt that her whole skeleton was loose, but her flesh was swimming, and Dr. Harry was like a big balloon floating around at the foot of the bed. He braced himself, pulled down the vest worn on the rake and turned his glasses on a thin rope. "Well, don't move, it won't hurt you."

"Go and see your patient," said the old lady Feng Shuang. "No sick woman doesn't need your care. I will invite you when I need you ... where did you go when I was suffering from leukoplakia and malignant pneumonia forty years ago? You haven't been born yet! Don't let cornelia lead you by the nose now, "she shouted, because Dr. Harry seemed to have floated to the roof and was about to float out. "I spend my own money, I don't waste my money!"

She wanted to wave goodbye, but it was too much trouble. My eyes closed involuntarily, and the bed seemed to be surrounded by a shady scene. The pillow under her head sometimes rises and sometimes floats, which makes people as comfortable as sleeping in a hammock with a breeze. She listened to the rustling of leaves outside the window. No, who is leafing through the newspaper? No, cornelia and Dr. Harry are whispering. She woke up with a start, thinking that the two men were whispering in her ear.

"She has never looked like this, never!" "Well, what can we do?" "Yes, eighty years old ..."

Well, what about eighty years old? She still has ears. Cornelia likes whispering at the door. She is always like this, whispering in front of everyone. She is always clever and kind. It's her fault that cornelia is obedient. She is sweet and kind-hearted: Grandma said, "She is sweet and kind-hearted, so I just want to beat her up." She seemed to see herself spanking cornelia, which was really enjoyable.

"Mom, what are you trying to say?"

Grandma felt her face wrinkled.

"I wonder if a person will think about things?"

"I thought you might need something."

"By the way, I need a lot of things. Get out of here first, let's go, don't chatter here. "

She lay in a daze, hoping that the children would leave her in their sleep and let her have a rest. A long day has passed. It is not that she feels tired, but that it is always comfortable to rest for a minute or two. There are always so many things to do, let me think: tomorrow.

Tomorrow is far away, so there is nothing to worry about. It's time, everything is more or less settled; Thank God, there is always a quiet time: at this time, I can look at my life comprehensively, and if there are some imperfect edges and corners, I can repair them appropriately. It's good to fold everything neatly and stick it evenly. Hair brushes and tonics are neatly placed on the white embroidered tablecloth: start the day leisurely. There are rows of glasses filled with jelly, brown mugs and white magnetic jars on the tableware shelf, and all kinds of gadgets and words are painted blue: coffee, tea, sugar, ginger, cinnamon, berries: God knows how much dust will accumulate on the lion in 24 hours! There are many letters tied up in boxes in the attic. Yes, I have to read them again tomorrow-from George, from John, from her to both of them-and put them there for the children to see, which makes her feel uncomfortable. Yes, that's something to do tomorrow. It's no good letting the child know how stupid she used to be.

While she was thinking repeatedly, the word "death" suddenly appeared in her mind. Death is so strange and gloomy to her. She has been waiting for death for a long time in the past. There is no need to mention it now. Let it be. When she was 60 years old, she used to feel that she was very old and almost finished, so she went to visit her children and grandchildren everywhere, thinking: Farewell, son, this is the last time mom will come to see you. Then she made a will, and then she had a fever and was ill for a long time. This matter, like many other things, was just a momentary thought in my mind, but I was lucky, because for a long time after that, she was never tortured by the idea of death again. She won't worry anymore. She wishes that she should be more reasonable now. Her father lived to 102. On his last birthday, he drank a cup of hot wine. He told reporters that drinking hard liquor is his daily habit, and he attributed his longevity to it. The news caused a sensation for a while. He is very proud of it. She wanted to tease cornelia.

"cornelia! Cornelia! " I didn't hear footsteps, but suddenly a hand was placed on her cheek. "Ok, where have you been?"

"Right here, Mom."

"cornelia, I want a glass of hot wine."

"Do you feel cold, dear?"

"Cold, lying in bed with poor blood circulation. How many times have I told you? "

She happened to hear cornelia tell her husband that her mother was becoming more and more childish and they had to coax her. What annoys her most is that cornelia thinks she is deaf, dumb and blind. These people just winked at her, made little gestures, and said in front of her, "Don't mess with her, she can do whatever she likes. She is 80 years old. " And she, sitting there, is like being locked in a glass cage. Sometimes, grandma is almost determined to pack up and move back to her hometown, and no one at home will remind her that she is old at any time. You wait, cornelia, one day your own children will talk about you behind your back!

When she was in charge, the housework was much better and things were done a lot more. Once, Lydia drove from 80 miles away to ask her grandmother for advice because one of her children behaved badly. Lydia at that time didn't feel that she was old and unreasonable. Jamie still often comes to discuss things with her: "mom, you are smart and capable." I want to hear your opinion on this matter. " ..... "Old? ! Cornelia didn't know how to move the furniture. Cute little thing, how cute children are when they are young. Grandma wants to find the lost years. The children are still young, and we can totally start over. Life in the past was not easy, but she endured it. She thought of cooking by herself, cutting and sewing clothes and trousers, and trimming the cultivated garden.

What she has done can be seen from the children. She gave birth to all the children, and no one can avoid this. Sometimes she really wants to see John again, pointing to the children and saying to him, well, I'm doing well! But this will have to wait. That's tomorrow. When she thinks of John, she always thinks that he is a young man. But now all the children are older than their father. If I see John again, he will stand beside her like a child. This idea seems strange, and something is wrong. He can't recognize her any more. She once personally dug a pit column, circled a hundred acres of land, erected barbed wire, and hired only a black child as a helper. This kind of work can change women. John's wife must still be a young woman, with a Spanish comb in her tall bun and a colorful fan in her hand. Digging holes and vertical columns will change women. In the cold winter, it is another matter for a woman to drive with her children on a country road: the horse is sick, the slave is sick, and the child is sick. Women stay up late every day, but in the end they drag all the children up. None of them are dead. John, I didn't lose any children! John can see it at a glance, and he understands it without any explanation!

Thinking of this, she really wanted to roll up her sleeves and rearrange the housework at once. Whether cornelia is determined to take care of everything or not, there is still a lot to do here. She will start doing these things tomorrow. Even if everything you do slips away at your fingertips, disappears and goes up in smoke, so after you finish, you almost forget what you originally wanted to finish, but it's always good to have the energy to do this and that. What should I do? She asked herself eagerly, but she couldn't remember. A mist rose in the valley, and she watched it drift across the stream, engulf the forest and move to the top of the mountain like a group of ghosts. Before long, the fog will blow to the orchard. It's time to go inside and light a lamp. Come in, son, it's night, don't stay outside any more.

The scene when lighting is beautiful. The children were panting around her, like cowboys waiting by the fence in the dusk. Their eyes moved with the matches, watching the flames rise, surrounded by a circle of blue light, and then walked away one by one. As soon as the light is on, they are no longer afraid and don't have to hug their mother tightly. Never again, never again. God, I sincerely thank you. God, I can't do it without you. Hail Mary, thank you.

I hope you will pick all the fruits this year and don't waste any. Someone can always use it. Never let good things rot for nothing. To waste food is to waste life. Don't lose anything, it's a pity to lose it. Okay, don't make me think about it now. I'm tired and want to take a nap before dinner. ...

The pillow suddenly rose from her shoulder and pressed against her chest, squeezing out all the memories buried in her heart: Oh, someone please push the pillow away! If she wants to lie down like this, this pillow will choke her. This is a breezy day, warm as spring and auspicious. But even so, he didn't come. The woman has covered the white gauze and prepared the wedding cake, but the man hasn't come yet. What should she do? She tried to remember. No, he never hurt me, except this time. Never hurt me except this time ... what if you hurt me? One day, that day, a black smoke curled up and covered that day. The black smoke gradually spread and drifted to the sunny fields, where crops were planted in an orderly way. It was hell, and she knew it as soon as she saw it. For sixty years, she has been praying that she will never think of him again and that her soul will not fall into the abyss of hell. But now, when she just got rid of Dr. Harry and wanted to have a rest, these two terrible things actually merged into one: the memory of him floated in her mind like smoke rising from the depths of hell. Suddenly a shrill voice came from the top of my head: Allen, this is frustrated vanity. Don't let this frustrated vanity prevail. Many girls have been abandoned. You were abandoned, weren't you? So be brave and strong and face the reality. Her eyelids quivered, and the blue-gray light covered them like a thin paper and flashed before her eyes. She must get up and close the curtains, or she can't sleep. She went back to bed, but the curtains were still open. Hey, what happened? You'd better turn over and turn your back to the light. Sleeping in the light will have nightmares. "Mom, how do you feel?" Bitter moisture stuck to her forehead. I don't like washing my face with cold water!

Hepsy? George? Lydia. Jimmy. No, it's cornelia. Her whole face is swollen and there are many small puddles. "They are all on the road, dear. They will come soon. " Go and wash your face, son. You look ridiculous.

Cornelia didn't obey, but he knelt down and put his head on the pillow. She seems to be saying something, but there is no sound. "Hey, what's wrong with you, tongue speechless? Whose birthday is it today? Are you going to have a party? "

Cornelia's lips kept moving and twisted into strange shapes. "Come on, daughter, you're confusing me."

"Oh, no, mom, no ..."

Nonsense, children are so strange. They will argue with you every word they say. "Nothing, cornelia?"

"Dr. Harry is here."

"I don't want to see this child again. He only left me for five minutes. "

"That was this morning, mom, it was already evening. This is the nurse. "

"I'm Dr Harry, Mrs Wind and Frost. I have never seen you so young and happy! "

"Oh, I won't be young any more-but I'll be happy if they let me have a quiet rest."

She thought she was talking loudly, but no one answered her. A warm thing pressed on her forehead, a warm bracelet was put on her wrist, and the breeze brought a whisper, trying to tell her something. Just like the leaves rustling in the hands of the holy jade, God is blowing, and the leaves are flying and creaking everywhere. "Mom, don't worry, we'll give you a subcutaneous injection." "Daughter, you see, how did the ants get into bed? I saw sugar ants yesterday. " Did you go to Hepsy?

What she really wants to see is Hepsy. If you want to see Hersey standing there with her child in her arms, she will have to go back many, many years and cross many rooms. It seems that she is Hershey, and the child Hershey is holding is Hershey herself. He and she have become the same person. There is nothing to make a fuss about at such a meeting. So Hepsy melted from the inside and became as light as a gray gauze, and the child became a thin and transparent shadow. Hersey came over and said, "I thought you would never come again." Then she looked at her with inquiring eyes and said, "You haven't changed at all!" They leaned over to kiss, when cornelia's deep voice came from a distance, "Oh, what are you going to say to me? What can I do for you? "

Yes, sixty years have passed, and her thoughts have changed. She wants to see George. I want you to find George. If you find George, you must tell him that I have forgotten him. I want him to know that I have my own husband, children and house like other women. And a good house, a good husband, I love him and have a good child with him. All this is better than I hoped. Tell him that I have recovered everything he took from me, and the gains outweigh the losses. Oh, no, oh, my God, no, there must be something else besides the house, husband and children. Oh, of course they are not everything, are they? What is that? I didn't come back with anything ... my breath was trapped under my ribs, horribly inflated, stabbing her like a sharp knife and heading straight for her head. The pain is unimaginable: yes, John, please call the doctor now, stop nagging, my time is up.

When a child is born, it should be the last one. The last one. It should be Mr. Wang, because this child is what she really wants. Everything arrived in time, leaving nothing behind. She was very strong and fully recovered in three days. And healthier. Women need milk to be strong.

"Mom, can you hear me?"

"I'm talking to you-"

"Mom, Father Connery is here."

"I went to the Eucharist last week and told him I didn't commit so many crimes."

"The priest just wants to talk to you."

He can say whatever he likes. He is such a person: he always loves to come in and care about her soul, as if she were a baby just teething. Then the priest will stay for a cup of tea, play bridge and chat. He always has some jokes to tell, usually about an Irishman who made some small mistakes and came to confess; The problem is that in confession, he always unconsciously reveals something ridiculous, showing his struggle between natural piety and original sin. Grandma felt at ease about the innocence of her soul. Cornelia, why don't you have any manners? Give Father Connery a seat. She reached a very good understanding with some good aunts in private, and they cleared the way for her smooth return to the creator. Everything has been sealed and signed with the newly bought 40 mu of land. Never change ... heirs and transferees will never change. On that day, the original wedding cake was lost and wasted, and the earth suddenly wore the bottom. In front of her, it was darkness and sweat, her feet were flying and the walls collapsed. Suddenly, his hand grabbed her from her chest, and she didn't fall. As usual, you have a freshly painted floor and a green carpet under your feet. He swore like a sailor's parrot, "I will avenge you and kill him." Do not touch him. Let God punish him for me. "Allen, you should believe what I said to you ..."

There is nothing to worry about, except that sometimes children suddenly scream in their sleep in the middle of the night. So they got up in a hurry, shook their hands, touched matches everywhere and shouted, "Don't be afraid, wait a minute, we are here." John, see a doctor. I'm afraid Hersey is going to die. But I thought Hersey was standing by the bed wearing a white hat. "cornelia, tell Hirsch to take off her hat. I can't see her face clearly. "

Her eyes were wide open, and the room looked like a painting she had seen somewhere. Dark, shadows grow into horns, towering to the ceiling. The tall dark dresser glowed slightly, and there was nothing on the table except a photo of John, which was enlarged by a small photo. John's eyes were originally blue, but they were dark black in the photo. You've never met him. How do you know what he looks like? But the man said that this photo is very realistic and people look plump and beautiful. Of course you can say that as a photo, but that's not my husband. The bedside table is covered with a tablecloth with candles and crosses. Under the silk lampshade in cornelia, there is blue light. It's not light at all, it's just a flash. You have to spend forty years under kerosene lamps to appreciate this trouble-free electric light. She feels very strong. She saw a rosy light wheel on Dr. Harry's head.

"You look like a saint, Dr. Harry. I swear, you can only look like a saint at most. "

"She's talking."

"I heard that, cornelia. What are you doing? "

"Father Connolly said-"

Cornelia's voice is like a carriage on a bumpy road. It turned the corner and turned back. Grandma got up gently and reached for the reins, but there was a man sitting next to her driving. She knows who this man is from his hands. She didn't look at his face because she knew who it was without looking at him. She looked at the road, the trees on both sides tilted towards the middle of the road, and thousands of birds were singing mass. She wanted to sing, too, but she took out a rosary from the clothes on her chest. Father Connolly whispered Latin in a very serious voice, tickling her ankle and making her itch. God, will you stop fooling around? I am a married woman. What if he really ran away and left me alone to deal with this priest? I found another person, many times better than him. I don't want to change my husband for anyone except St. Michael himself. You can tell him this for me, and you can add a thank you.

Her closed eyelids felt a flash of light, and then a growl shook her whole body. Cornelia, is that lightning? I heard thunder, and a storm was coming. Go close the window and call the children into the house ... "Mom, we are all here, we are all here." "Is that you, Hersey?" "Oh, no, I'm Lidya. We came as soon as possible. " Faces floated in front of her. The rosary slipped from her hand and Lydia put it back. Jimmy tried to come forward to help, but their hands met and grandma's two fingers caught Jimmy's thumb. This can't be a rosary, it must be something alive. She was amazed at how much she thought and couldn't help it. Dear God, it's my end. I hardly thought of it. Ah, I hate surprises. I want to give cornelia that amethyst bracelet-cornelia. You can get the amethyst bracelet, but you must wear it for Hepsy when she wants to use it. Shut up, Dr. Harry. Nobody invited you. Oh, my dear Lord, wait a little longer. I'm going to tidy up those forty acres of land. Jimmy doesn't need it, but Lidya will need it when she marries such an unworthy husband. I also want to make the cloth for the altar and send six bottles of wine to Sister Borgia to cure her indigestion. Father Connery, I want to send six bottles to Sister Borgia. Don't forget this time.

Cornelia's voice was short. She changed her tune. Finally, she screamed, "Oh, Mom, Oh, Mom, Oh, Mom …"

"I don't want to go, cornelia. This is a sudden attack, and I can't leave yet. "

You'll meet Hepsy. How is she? "I thought you would never come again." Grandma went out and walked a long way to look for Hersey. What if I can't find her? So what should we do? Her heart has been sinking. There is no end to death, and she can't go to the end. The blue light from cornelia's lampshade has shrunk to a small point in the center of her mind, flashing like eyes. It floats quietly, shrinking smaller and smaller. Grandma lay there, curled up in a ball, staring at the light in amazement. This is herself. Her body is just a shadow in the endless darkness, and this endless darkness will surround this light spot and eventually engulf it. God, please show your spirit.

This is the second time, and the miracle still hasn't appeared. There is still no groom or priest in the room. She can't remember any other grief, because it drowned everything. Oh, no, nothing is more cruel than this time-I will never forgive it. She took a deep breath, straightened up and blew out the light.