Provide some jokes that can make people laugh.

3. A diner deliberately made things difficult for the store and ordered a scrambled egg with duck eggs. I just heard Xiao er yelling in the kitchen: the guest officer who is reading SMS is an asshole.

A truck killed a pig on the road, and the farmer claimed compensation from the driver. The driver said, "Who told your pig to run on the road? There is no pigsty on the road! " "Although there is no pigsty, there is no road on the pig!"

My son has been playing wildly all day. I said, have you finished writing your diary? The son said: It's over! I said, let me see. Take it here and have a look: "It's sunny on February 6, and 300 words are omitted here ..."

6. In the street, two men are quarreling. "You are an ass!" "You are an asshole!" Pedestrians advised, "We are all a family, so why should we be unkind?"

7. The giraffe married the monkey. A year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live this kind of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

8. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

9. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

10. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

1 1. The lion and the bear shit under the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion shit is better than bear shit!

12 The ant saw the elephant swimming and said, Come up! The elephant climbed up, and the ant looked at it and said, get down! Elephant Anger: What are you doing? The ant said, nothing. I lost my swimming trunks. Let's see if you are wearing them.

13. Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their mouths at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. The police are here. Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Policeman A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, one, two, it's back. Policeman A: Huh? I'm not breathing. .......

14. When the bell rang, the teacher smiled and said to the whole class, "Students who are clamoring for school don't panic, they won't miss class. Please stop chatting with people who eat instant noodles. Tell the students playing poker in the back row to be quiet, and don't affect the sleep of the students in the front row. Students who look at the scenery by the window are called students who play basketball on the playground, so that I can arrange my homework. The students on the road remember to inform the students in the Internet cafe about today's homework. "

15. An embarrassing year, less than 80, less than 90. Just entered primary school, the financial turmoil. After I graduated from primary school, it was 9 1 1. I was preparing for the senior high school entrance examination, and the Wenchuan earthquake happened in the college entrance examination. I finally went to college, and suddenly there was a financial tsunami and a stream! After more than ten years of educational reform, the mouse is finally ready to bid farewell to the campus and welcome the society, but you told me that the year of graduation from college is 20 12!

16. I just called to ask where my classmate was, and the classmate replied, "At McDonald's." I said a polite cliche: "hey, buddy, what's delicious?" I can smell the fragrance. " The classmate replied, "I'm waiting in line in the bathroom!" " "

Teacher: "Please make a sentence with' whatever'." Student: "The teacher shouldn't ask me any questions that I can't answer."