Urgent for English jokes with translation.

One day, a tourist from the city came to a small village and drove on the country road to see what the farm looked like and how farmers made a living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig in his hand, holding it high so that the pig could eat the apples on the apple tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't that a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What is time to a pig?"

One day, a tourist from the city came to a small village. He drove along the road in the country to see what the farm was like and how farmers made a living by farming. City people saw a farmer on the grass behind his house, holding a pig in his hand and holding it high so that it could eat apples from the tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't it a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What does time mean to pigs?"

It really works!

Tom has the problem of getting up late in the morning and is always late for work. His boss was angry with him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something. So Tom went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before going to bed. Tom slept well. In fact, he woke up earlier than the alarm clock in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove happily to work.

"Boss," he said, "the pills really worked!"

"That's all good." The boss said, "but where were you yesterday?"

Tom can't get up in the morning, so he is always late for work. His boss was very angry and warned him to fire him if he didn't improve. So Tom went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before going to bed. Tom did as the doctor said and slept well. In fact, he got up before the alarm clock rang in the morning. Tom had a leisurely breakfast and then drove happily to work.

"Boss," said Tom, "this medicine really worked. I slept well! "

"It worked," said the boss. "The question is, where were you yesterday?

I want to take a day off.

Smith went to the front hall to meet his supervisor. "Boss," he said, "we are going to do some cleaning at home tomorrow. My wife needs my help to clean the attic and garage and move things." "We are short of hands, Smith," the boss replied. "I can't give you a day off." "Thanks, boss," Smith said. "I knew I could count on you!"

One day, Smith went to see the head of his customer department, the "boss". Smith said, "Our family is going to clean tomorrow, and my wife needs me to go back and help clean the attic and garage and move something." "Smith, you know, we are short of hands now," said the boss. "I can't give you a holiday tomorrow." "Thank you, boss," Smith said. "I knew it was right to follow you."

The key to success: the key to success

One day, a father educated his son and said, "The key to your success is keeping your word and being smart. Once you make a promise to someone, you must carry it out no matter what happens. This is called' keeping promises'.

"What is cleverness?" His son asked.

"Being smart means that you will never make such a promise," my father replied.

One day, the father educated his son and said, "The key to a person's success is to keep his promise and be smart enough." Once you give someone a promise, no matter what happens, you must carry it out. This is called' keeping promises'. "

The son asked, "So what is cleverness?"

The father replied, "Being smart means never making such a promise at any time."

goodwill

One day, a boy found his teacher and said, "Teacher, my father wants to know if you like roast pigs." "Of course I remember," said the teacher. "You told your father that he was very grateful for your consideration of me." Several days passed, and no one mentioned the roast pig again. Finally, the teacher said to the boy, "I thought your father would send me some roast pigs." "Yes," said the boy, "he did intend to do so, but the pig got well."

goodwill

One day, a boy found his teacher and said, "Teacher, my father wants to know if you like roast pork." "Of course." The teacher said, "Go and tell your father, thank you for thinking of me." A few days passed and roast pork was never mentioned again. Finally, the teacher said to the boy, "I thought your father would send me some roast pork." "Yes," said the child, "he thinks so, but You Zhu is not sick."

English jokes (1)

The teacher wrote a sentence on the blackboard: Time is money. And let the students translate. A student replied, "Tom is Mary."

Xiaoming said to the teacher in English class: May I go to the toilet?

The teacher said, go.

Xiaoming sat down. After a while, Xiao Ming said to the teacher, May I go to the toilet?

The teacher said, go.

Xiaoming sat down again. The classmate next to me couldn't help asking: Didn't you tell the teacher to go to the toilet? Why not go?

Xiao Ming said: You didn't hear the teacher say "Fuck you"!

English jokes (2)

One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest. He came forward and said, I'm Liu Hongtao, and the foreign guest said, I'm TM or square seven!

English jokes (3)

When Jiang Qing met with foreign guests, she asked the translator to translate strictly according to her meaning and not go out of shape. As soon as the foreign guests saw Jiang Qing, they immediately kowtowed to her and said, "Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." When translating, Jiang Qing was elated and had to be modest: "Where, where".

The translator did not dare to neglect, and translated Jiang Qing's words into English: "Where? Where? " The foreign guests were dumbfounded, and this kind of person asked where to look good, and simply slammed into the end: "Everywhere, everywhere."

Translation: "You are beautiful everywhere." Jiang Qing is happy, but always polite: "Not necessarily, not necessarily." The translator was quickly translated into English: "Don't look, don't look."

English jokes (4)

If someone studies English hard, he will succeed in the end. One day, I accidentally bumped into a foreigner in the street. I said, I'm sorry.

The foreigner replied, I'm sorry, too.

Hearing this, someone added: I'm sorry, three.

The foreigner was puzzled and asked, What are you sorry for?

Some people have no choice but to say, I'm sorry.

English jokes (5)

A passenger from Japan, on the way to the airport by taxi, saw a car passing by and said, "Oh, Toyota! Made in Japan! It's fast! " Another car passed by and he said, "Oh, Nissan! Made in Japan! It's fast! " The driver is a little unhappy and thinks he is too noisy! When the third car passed by, he was still saying, "Oh, Honda! Made in Japan! It's fast! "

Later when he arrived at the airport, the Japanese asked, "How much is it?" The taxi driver said, "1000!"

The Japanese asked the driver in surprise, "Why is it so expensive?" The taxi driver replied, "Oh, the odometer! Made in Japan! It's fast! "

English jokes (6)

An English teacher asked a student, "What do you mean by hello?"

What do the students think, you are you, so they answer "How are you?"

The teacher was angry and asked another classmate, "How old are you? What do you mean? "

The classmate thought for a moment and said, "Why is it always you?"

English jokes (7)

A man fluent in English came to the embassy to fill out a form. One column is sex.

The man thought for a long time and decided to write "once a week".

The visa officer laughed and said, "This item should be filled in male or female."

The man immediately blushed, thought about it, and filled in "female". The official was stunned and said, "Shouldn't it be a man?"

The man quickly explained, "I am a normal man, so I have sex with a woman."