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What wrong parenting concepts have you seen?

Don't treat children as "everything"

Children are everything! This is a sentence that China's parents often like to say. For the sake of children, parents are often willing to give their all, find the best school, the best teacher, attend the most cram schools and practice the most distinctive hobbies. . . Wait, wait, all in all, they hope their children can become talents as soon as possible and become "talents" they think.

I often watch Jiangsu Satellite TV's If You Are the One. I quite agree with some of Mr. Han Huang's views and remarks. Once when it comes to family education, she once said a word. Now, once they have children, many parents put all their energy into their children and try their best to cultivate them into the people they want to be. She thinks the correct way is: First of all, you should try to be the kind of person you want to be and be a role model for your children with your own practical actions.

Yes, there are really too many such examples around. . .

A classmate talked to me about her cousin's house the other day. Every time she talks about her cousin, she is always embarrassed. This classmate comes from a small county town. He has achieved excellent academic results since he was a child, and later he has a successful career. He is a proud model of his family. Although my cousin only went to junior college, he has a relatively stable job in his hometown. However, people are smart and talented. Through self-study efforts, they passed the national judicial examination very early. If he can persist, it should be said that it is very promising.

However, with the establishment of families and sons. He put all his thoughts on children, perhaps because he felt that his cultural level was too low and he read too little, perhaps because he was an excellent cousin's role model. In short, it seems that he didn't care about his career and future until he was 30 years old. According to his own ideas and train of thought, he made a comprehensive education and training plan for his son in the next ten years and put it into practice step by step.

To make matters worse, because the children's parents gave up their efforts in the workplace early, their careers failed, their mentality gradually became more and more unstable, and their children were under increasing pressure. . . Especially when children gradually enter adolescence, they become rebellious. He thinks you adults are so unsuccessful, why do you want me to succeed? But my parents think adults have given up everything for you, so why are you so disappointing? Such a vicious circle, its effect can be imagined.

This classmate said, looking back, if my cousin hadn't given up so early, at least in the local judicial circles, he would have had his own position long ago. While improving their own quality and performance, we should also know how to educate children and provide them with a better humanistic environment. Maybe the child won't be too biased. . .

Yes! Nothing is more subtle and instructive than your personal actions. Parents' efforts and success are the best words and deeds for their children. If you can't do it yourself, or if you don't work hard, ask your child what to do. . . Perhaps, when children are very young, they don't think independently or are forced by their parents' majesty, which will have some effects. But over time, children will only become more and more rebellious.

Moreover, everyone has their own life, and you easily give up your efforts and pursuit of your children. In fact, for most people, it is not worth the loss. On the one hand, your lack of progress makes it difficult for you to succeed in the workplace and there is no way to provide children with a better learning and living environment; On the other hand, you feel that you have given up on yourself for your children. Because of the imbalance in the heart, it will inevitably increase the pressure on children and affect their physical and mental health. . .

I remembered the sentence' if you are poor, you will change your mind'. It is worth reminding that the so-called "for yourself" is actually to better serve children!

Is the baby upset and crying hungry? However, a large number of babies are upset and crying because of physiological colic and flatulence, because the baby's intestinal development is still not perfect within 6 months, and the baby will also have milk overflow, fart and blush. Generally, it can be relieved by hugging or massaging the baby's stomach by plane. A bulging belly without venting means flatulence. You can choose simethicone, which is safe and has no side effects to help your baby vent.

Second, should you give your baby calcium supplements? Many parents think that the baby's poor breast-feeding, little yellow hair, poor sleep, love sweating and other problems are all due to the baby's calcium deficiency. In fact, these are normal physiological phenomena, not calcium deficiency. The essence of calcium deficiency is the lack of vitamin D, because vitamin D promotes the absorption of calcium. Only the lack of vitamin D can lead to calcium deficiency, so there is no need to supplement calcium. Excess calcium can not be absorbed, which will cause deposition in the body, thus affecting the baby's growth and development.

For exclusively breastfed infants, 400IU of vitamin D should be added every day from 2 weeks after birth to 2 years old. The source of calcium is taken from dairy food. As long as it is fed adequately, there will be no calcium deficiency. Babies fed with mixed or formula powder generally contain some vitamin D in milk powder, so the content of excess vitamin D should be reduced accordingly when supplementing, such as supplementing vitamin D every other day.

Three babies are afraid of the cold. Should they wear more clothes? In the traditional concept of parenting, people always think that babies are afraid of cold, so it is wrong to wrap several layers for their babies in cold weather or dog days.

In fact, the baby is afraid of heat, not cold. Parents usually put a cover on the baby to make the baby's hands and feet slightly cold and the neck and back warm. It is generally recommended to keep the room temperature at 24-26. In this environment, the baby can wear cotton-padded clothes. Baby love sweating, wearing a thick cover will cause the baby to catch cold, and then there will be problems such as cold and diarrhea.

Fourth, shave fetal hair, will the hair become thicker? It is not recommended to shave the baby's fetal hair, which is easy to hurt the baby's head skin, and shaving the fetal hair has nothing to do with whether the hair is thick or not in the future. Hair problems are mostly genetic, and later nutritional problems. Many babies will have problems such as yellow hair, sparse hair and baldness on pillows, which are normal. The baby's scalp hair follicles are developing. When the baby is about three years old and the hair follicles are fully developed, these problems will improve and disappear.

What wrong parenting concepts have you seen? Many times, there is no absolute right or wrong, and so is the concept of parenting.

Only with the progress of society and the development of the times, many concepts are no longer applicable.

1, newborn babies should wear old clothes.

The actual situation is: first, there are few children, so it is not easy to have a child; Second, with the development of textile industry, New cotton-padded jacket is as soft and comfortable as before, and it is clean and hygienic after washing.

2. Feed all kinds of water to the newborn baby.

For example, feeding ginseng water can enhance resistance;

Feeding Huanglian water can make the baby not suffer in the future;

Feeding honey water can make your baby live a sweet life;

......

All these.

The reality is that the first drink a newborn should drink is breast milk.

3. Tie the newborn's feet and tie the candle bag.

The actual situation is: the baby's feet will be straight and unconstrained; Binding candles is not conducive to the baby's growth and development.

4, the baby is afraid of cold, so wear more.

The reality is that as long as the baby's neck and back are warm, the baby will not be cold.

However, if the baby has symptoms of runny nose or diarrhea, the neck and back should be warm, and the hands should not be too cold.

5, the baby will learn to walk by himself when put in a walker.

The actual situation is that there is no one to look after the baby in the walker, which is not only easy to get hurt, but also makes it more difficult for the baby to learn to walk, resulting in foot deformation.

6. You can't use diapers for your baby, which will affect your baby's growth and development.

The actual situation is that diapers produced by regular manufacturers are of good quality and suitable for baby's skin. Proper use and frequent replacement have no effect on the baby's growth and development.

7, the baby has enough yang and will not get sick.

The actual situation is that the baby's immune system is not fully developed and needs more care and care.

8, the baby is sick, hurry to hang the infusion bag or bottle, and it will be fine soon.

The actual situation is that injections are not recommended if you can take medicine, and infusion bottles are not recommended if you can take injections.

9. Give your baby nutrition, and your baby will be healthier.

The actual situation is that the baby's stomach has not developed well, and it is harmful to eat supplements.

10, pinch the baby's nipple and pick the horse's teeth.

The actual situation is: the baby is easily infected, which is not good for the baby's growth and development.

In short, it is not easy to raise a child safely!

For example, a friend of mine just gave birth to a baby two days ago and told me about the wrong parenting behavior she encountered.

1, just after delivery, the nurse in the hospital refused to let the newborn eat colostrum, and let the newborn be fed with water and milk powder, saying that mother had no milk at this time.

A few years ago, this kind of behavior may be very common, but today, breastfeeding is getting more and more attention. As a professional medical staff, they still have wrong ideas and practices, which is really puzzling. Haven't their knowledge been updated?

2. My friend's mother-in-law said that the baby would rather be covered than frozen, so under the comfortable condition of room temperature of 26 degrees, the baby's three layers are still tightly wrapped, saying that the baby's hands and feet are cold and afraid of freezing.

Because the baby's heart ability is limited, there will be less blood reaching the ends of his hands and feet, so it is normal for his hands and feet to be cold. The way to judge whether your baby is hot or cold should be to touch your baby's neck. The weather is warm but not humid, which shows that the temperature is suitable now.

Always scare children with words like "Your mother doesn't want you"

Many adults always like to say "Your mother doesn't want you, see what you do" when teasing children or children are disobedient. At this time, you can always see children staying there in horror. Some children will cry directly, while those adults are laughing.

Adult pranks are not fun for children at all, but full of malice.

4, adults get together, give the baby a taste of white wine, cigarettes, breast-feeding.

Before eating in the restaurant, the people at the next table should be relatives eating. One of them is a baby over one year old. I saw an adult dip chopsticks in white wine for the baby to taste. When he saw the baby grinning, he smiled and asked how the baby was. Do you want another sip? Another adult directly gave the baby an unlit cigarette. The baby thought it was delicious and put it in his mouth. The adults laughed again.

It is puzzling that the baby's mother didn't stop everything, but laughed happily with everyone.

5. Let your children rob other people's toys.

A 3-year-old child in our neighborhood always grabs other people's toys. Instead of stopping it, his mother asked other children to give their children toys. Some parents can't stand it anymore and advise her to take care of her children. She retorted: I am afraid that my children will be bullied by others when they grow up, so I am practicing courage now.

Are children who dare to grab toys brave?

6. Chew your own food before giving it to your baby.

I was shocked to see an old woman take a bite of an apple, chew it up and feed it to her baby! Although we were all fed like this when we were young, it is really unsanitary and unsafe, and bacteria in adults' mouths can also be passed on to babies.

First, deliberately teach children to call their parents, grandparents and grandmothers by their first names. I have never understood what these people think, but children are not sensible and easy to be neither big nor small. I don't mind my child calling me by my first name in front of me, but I mind that he still calls his elders by their first names in front of outsiders, regardless of their age.

Second, children are growing up and should eat more meat. The key to a child's diet is to be reasonable and balanced, so as to meet the nutritional elements needed for physical development. It is understandable for the older generation to love their grandchildren, but blindly indulging their children to choose what they like will make them develop picky eaters.

Third, call names, speak ill of others in front of children and slander others. Older people will think that children are too young to understand, but children will follow suit. They are not right or wrong, they only imitate the behavior of adults. When you find that your child has a problem, don't rush to beat and scold, you should first find the problem from the adults themselves.

Fourth, let children play mobile phones and watch TV as soon as they quarrel. Some parents have little patience. Mobile TV can make children quiet, so it will make children watch TV and play mobile phones. This way, children will not disturb themselves to play with their mobile phones. But children are still young. Staring at the electronic screen for too long will affect children's vision development, and TV and mobile phones are also easy to make children addicted.

Fifth, deliberately tell your mother not to want you. Some people are joking, and some people don't know what their psychology is, so they won't stop talking. This will cause psychological harm to children. When you meet such rubbish relatives, you should be firm. After all, you don't have to worry about feelings when you come. Nothing is more important than your own children.

I'm glad to answer this wrong concept of parenting.

I am a people's teacher. Go back to school after giving birth to a child for three months, and leave the child to her mother-in-law. My mother-in-law has just turned 60, and she is a little old. I am grateful to take good care of my baby, but often in a room, after careful observation, I feel that many of my mother-in-law's parenting concepts are wrong, and I am speechless. I'm afraid I will affect my mother-in-law's mood. If there is a quarrel, I'm afraid my husband will be in a dilemma in the middle. Needless to say, children suffer more.

Mistake 1: The child sleeps naturally, and the baby is in good spirits every day. He doesn't go to bed until 10 at night, but he rubs his eyes when he looks at the children, and sometimes he cries but refuses to sleep. Mother-in-law ignored, let her continue to play, but also play with her. At twelve o'clock in the evening, sometimes at one or two o'clock, the child really has no strength, and then naturally falls asleep. Many old people have such a misunderstanding about parenting, thinking that children will just play until they fall asleep naturally. Is this really good? The disadvantage of this laissez-faire is that children's schedules are disrupted. They sleep during the day and play at night, and there is no normal and regular schedule, which leads to the slow growth of children and the exhaustion of adults. I think children can still be put to sleep by music or storytelling at the appointed time.

Mistake 2: Help children chew food. Mother-in-law can't use the food supplement machine, and she is worried that the child will not chew badly and get stuck in her throat, so she chews first and then feeds the child. This method looks disgusting, what's more, there are many bacteria in adults' mouths, and the baby's immunity is poor and it is easy to get infectious diseases. Please reply to me directly after talking to him. My three children were brought here in this way, and they are all in good health. Tell him what happened on the news, even if it is forgotten, it will not change.

Mistake 3: nagging and growling in front of children

It's time for children to be naughty. They go out to play every day and want to touch, touch and sometimes move when they see all kinds of new things. My mother-in-law is very annoying. She felt that she had gone out to the supermarket to get other people's toys or food. After being told, she felt humiliated and scolded the child loudly. The child is really scared. In this case, you can reason with your child and ask him not to take other people's toys, or play with other children, exchange games and make more new friends. Supermarkets can ask adults for advice first. You can buy things at the counter and pay for them before taking them away.

In a word, many mothers-in-law have an unscientific and wrong idea of taking care of their children.

It's too difficult! Pupils accompany their mothers at the concert in Jay Chou, idolize and do their homework! Netizen: Speaking of idolization, it is not a new word in today's society!

With the vigorous development of modern entertainment, more and more artists enter the entertainment circle, and more and more stars are updated.

When I was a child, I simply thought that only ignorant boys and girls in idolization would do it!

Now it seems that I am really too young to understand the fanaticism of fans. Even if I am old, I can still be a fan.

Recently, Jay Chou gave a concert in Jinan. It's hard to get a ticket for the concert, so friends who didn't get a ticket are probably very sad!

However, at the concert scene, when fans waved light sticks and sang in unison, there was such a primary school student lying in his seat, wearing a pink headdress, burying his head in his homework and turning a deaf ear to the cheers around him.

It is said that this child came to Jay Chou concert with his mother!

Seeing the child doing his homework carefully, netizens can't help feeling that the child has such an idolized mother after eating a few lemons: You have worked hard, son!

Seeing this, I actually want to say to my parents who like idolization: Everyone has their own dreams and idols, which is understandable.

But when I was in idolize, I dragged my children with me. This kind of parenting is not desirable!

Not only is it easy to delay children's learning, but it may also be a kind of torture for children who don't like idolization, which will make children feel disrespected and easily hurt each other's parent-child relationship!

It is really impossible to say who has never experienced the wrong way of raising children at all. Experienced a big parenting "pit". When Dabao was born, I was told that children should not cry or coax. Otherwise, children will be particularly fond of crying in the future, and they must be hugged and coaxed when crying.

And my mother-in-law also believes this article. Every time I see that I want to hold a baby, I will stop it. Now that I think about it, I regret it very much. I want to hammer myself to death at the thought of the baby crying and looking at me.

In fact, children cry for a reason. Hunger, thirst, physical discomfort, fear, loneliness, noisy environment and other physiological and psychological reasons will cause crying. Moreover, before 1 year old, it is an important period for the baby to establish a sense of security. The first reaction and satisfaction of parents is the basic requirement for children to establish a sense of security. However, if their spiritual demands are not satisfied, it is easy to undermine the establishment of security and parent-child relationship.

In addition to this pit, when chatting with some mothers, I also talked about the wrong parenting methods. I'll list them and share them with you. I hope parents in the world can have less into the pit, so that the baby can grow up healthily.

1, late teething, need calcium supplement.

Some mothers began to worry about calcium deficiency when they saw that their children had no teeth for 7-8 months. Actually, it is not. If the baby develops normally and there is no special disease, don't worry even if it starts to grow teeth in the future. Really not, you can take your baby to a physical examination instead of blindly supplementing calcium.

2, constipation should eat bananas

My grandmother is still like this. Every time a child doesn't stink every other day, he says he should eat more bananas. I can't listen to anything I say. In fact, the fiber content of bananas is very low, and the content of starch and pectin in bananas is relatively high, which may aggravate constipation, so bananas cannot cure constipation.

3, diapers will lead to O-legs.

The actual function of diapers is only to reduce the number of diaper changes and cleaning. Using qualified diapers is not only more hygienic, but also reduces the frequency of parents getting up at night. Using good quality diapers can also reduce the chance of red buttocks. At present, there is no data showing that O-legs will be formed after using diapers.

Most babies will go through the stage of physiological O-leg, and some babies will also go through the stage of physiological X-leg. Pathological O-legs are generally caused by some diseases or improper training, and are not necessarily related to the use of diapers.

4. If you have a fever, wear clothes and sweat.

Tell the truth, this pit really kills people. If it is a low-grade fever, you can drink more warm water and physically cool down; If you have a high fever, you can use some antipyretics to make your child sweat. When the sweat comes out, the symptoms will be relieved. However, it is really not appropriate to wear excessive clothes and sweat, because the heat can not be distributed, which is not conducive to reducing fever. However, if the performance of a cold and fever is fear of cold, you can wear more clothes appropriately, but not excessively for the purpose of sweating.

From the birth of the child, we will inevitably fall into a period of "tension+entanglement":

Children are thin, worried about malnutrition and obesity, and worried about overnutrition;

Put on more clothes, worry about the heat, and worry that he will catch a cold immediately after taking it off;

Sleep too much, worry about whether he is uncomfortable, sleep too little, and worry about affecting his development. ...

Although there are many experiences worth learning, it is still necessary to raise children scientifically, to understand and understand the differences in children's development, and not to compare them blindly, so as to protect the baby's healthier and happier growth.

With the progress of the times, many parenting concepts of the older generation have been incompatible with the current scientific parenting. Some parenting concepts no longer apply to today's children.

1. The baby is too young to take a bath. Many old people don't bathe their babies in the month, thinking that babies are too young to soak in water and will catch a cold. But I don't know that taking a bath often is good for the baby's growth and development.

Children don't need to take medicine when they are sick. Children don't need to take medicine when they are sick, so they are treated with folk remedies. When my child returned to his hometown, gastroenteritis had a fever because of food accumulation. His grandmother refused to give medicine, so she rubbed his body with ginger and salt, saying that the fever could be reduced. Later, I decisively took my children out to see a doctor. This is the most wrong way to raise children. If the child is sick, he should seek medical treatment in time, instead of using the local method, which will easily delay the child's illness.

Step 3 feed the child after the full moon

When my family's Bauer was full moon, because she always cried, the old man thought that the child would only cry when he was not full, so he said that he would feed the child. It is said that the child's father used to be like this, and he slept soundly after feeding. That was when there was no milk powder before. Now, even if children don't have enough to eat, there is still milk powder to feed, and the baby just full moon can't eat it yet.

The baby is hungry when he cries.

It is normal for a baby to cry, but when the baby cries, he thinks that the baby is hungry and has been urging the baby to feed. Sometimes, just after drinking milk, the baby cries and says he is hungry. There are many reasons for baby crying, such as hot weather, holding urine, indigestion and so on.

5. The child is still young

This is the most heard sentence. No matter what happens, I will say this sentence. The children who refuse to eat by themselves are still young, and the children who make mistakes are still young. This sentence is simple, but it will harm the child's future.

6. Wrestling is the fault of the floor

When the child wrestles, he will see the old man running nervously to pick up the child, and then say to the child, "It's all the fault of the floor, let me wrestle, don't cry, let's step on the mouse", and then stomp on the floor. The child stopped crying soon, but after a long time, the child developed the habit of shirking responsibility. No matter what he did wrong, he thought it was someone else's responsibility.

7. It's too cold. Wear more clothes.

As long as the north wind is together, the old man will dress his children three floors away. Sometimes the children are so hot that the clothes that make the bottom are wet, and the old man still feels that it is not enough, so he adds another one and puts on his hat. Children get sick easily if they wear too much. We just need to touch the children's hands and backs when they are dressed. There is no need to wear too much, which is not conducive to children's control of temperature regulation.

The above is the parenting concept of the older generation that I have heard the most.

1, when the baby is still young and needs to be fed by adults, some old people will put the food in their mouth first and then feed it to the baby. This is not right, because the warmth and humidity of human mouth, coupled with the continuous intake of food, create excellent conditions for the growth of bacteria. Generally, there are more than 300 kinds of bacteria in a person's mouth, which will infect the baby if you are not careful, and the resistance is weaker than that of the baby.

Now there is a kind of spoon, which is specially for babies. The spoon is colored. When it is too hot, the spoon will change color, and when the temperature is moderate, the spoon will change back to its original color.

2, adults at home, in order to show their love for the baby, sometimes meet and kiss the baby. But it's better to kiss on the cheek than mouth to mouth (for the same reason). Sometimes I take my baby out, meet some acquaintances, and when I see that my baby is cute, I want to pinch my baby's face and touch it. Some of them are very resistant to babies. If the baby doesn't want to, adults still have to come out and stop it. Don't be embarrassed.

When I was in the park, I saw some old people playing with their granddaughters and grandchildren. Then I saw one of the old men say to his granddaughter: You like Qiqi (one of the children) so much, why don't you exchange it with Qiqi's brother? When Qiqi's brother comes to our house, you can go to Qiqi's house.

Then I saw my little friend look at his grandmother blankly and say no, the world of children is very simple, and she can't tell what adults say is true and what is a joke. She will take what adults say to heart and remember it carefully. In this way, children will think that their families don't like her, don't want her, and feel insecure. So, please don't make fun of the baby just for yourself, because the baby will take it seriously!

The above are some wrong parenting ideas I have sorted out, hoping to help my parents!