Ten classic jokes

Ten jokes are classic, and many people say that an interesting soul is one in a million. In fact, in my opinion, interesting souls are actually personal. If some people are not enough to arouse their interest, let's take a look at ten classic jokes.

Ten joke classics 1 1, the woman said: Why do you look so old-fashioned?

M: If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued?

2. Xiaohui asked the leader: "Leader, I want to go back to my hometown to sweep the grave and worship my ancestors these days during the Qingming holiday." The leader said, "OK, remember to wear masks, hats and sunglasses."

Xiaohui: "Thank you for your concern. If it is not too hot recently, it will not tan. "

Leader: "I mean, you work so badly, how can you still face your ancestors!" " "

3. Son: "Dad, there is a poor old uncle outside. He has been shouting outside, so dad, can you give me two dollars? I want to give it to him. " Dad: "Good boy, you will pity the old man when you are young. Commendable. This is two dollars. " Dad: "Oh, by the way, what's the name of that old uncle?" Son: "Ice cream, ice cream, one in 2 yuan!" Come on! "

Wukong and Tang Priest went to a TV station together. If you are the one, Wukong came on stage and all 24 lights went out. Reason: 1. No house, no car, just a broken stick. 2. Occupational hazards of bodyguards. 3. Always hitting goblins, not being gentle with girls. 4. Being trapped in prison and being pressed under Wuzhishan for 500 years. Tang Priest came on stage, wow! The lights are all on. Reason: 1. Civil servants; 2. Brother Huang, backstage is the hardest. 3. Proficient in Sanskrit and other foreign languages. 4. Very handsome. 5. The most crucial point: BMW!

My mother said to me today, "Daughter, you can't be fat any more." You see that you are a gourd in underwear and a pear without underwear. "

My dad said, "Nonsense, our daughter is also full of potholes, obviously a lotus root and a fat knot."

6. A couple quarreled, and the woman used it directly, pinching and twisting ... Look at the man's expression ... I saw the man shake his hand and said angrily, "Wait for me to go back and practice a muscle!" "Hum, what about exercising muscles?" The man replied angrily, "I can't hold you back."

7. Xiaoli went to the gym to lose weight. I saw everyone else running hard on the treadmill, only she walked slowly. She called the coach and growled, "Why can't I run on this treadmill?" The coach looked at her and said helplessly, "It's all open to the maximum, and it becomes so slow as soon as it goes up ..."

8. What should I do to meet my parents at her home for the first time? What should I call it? Do you want to bring some gifts? ""You hit a girl and still think about it? "

Aunt Zhang bought a pair of liberation shoes and wore them for two days, showing her toes. She asked the shop assistant, "Why are the quality of liberation shoes so poor?" Salesman: "Isn't it good to free your toes from the darkness?"

10, driving one day, suddenly asked the coach why the steering wheel was a little loose. The coach said calmly, you senior, you didn't step on the brakes first, but pulled the steering wheel hard in an emergency and shouted, "Woo, woo, woo!" ...

Top Ten Jokes Classic 2 1. Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel and put on a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood.

God: Then reincarnate as a nurse.

2. A friend sold popsicles in the park for the first time, so he was embarrassed to shout. Then suddenly someone shouted "sell popsicles ~ ~ ~ sell popsicles ~ ~". Hearing this, my friend shouted happily, "Me too ~ ~ Me too ~ ~".

Ants and elephants died soon after they got married. While burying the elephant, the ant wept bitterly: "Dear, why did you leave so early?" I will bury you if I don't do anything else in my life! " "

Your boy has a crush on a girl, so you have the courage to ask her what kind of boy she likes.

"Like-minded" girls answered, and even asked several times, it was the same answer.

The boy was very discouraged and said, "Can you have a flat head?" .

One day, I was out of breath to catch the last bus and shouted: Master! Master, wait for me ~

Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly, Wukong, stop chasing.

6. One day I had a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trousers and said, "Guess, guess."

7. After the performance of the beautiful Mongolian actress, the leader came to the stage to receive her, and then her hand asked her if she was cold or warm. She refused to let go for a long time and kindly asked, What's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Maragobi Matsumoto".

8. A man bought a parrot that can only speak two words. One day, when the master was not at home, a ventilator knocked at the door.

Parrot: Who is it?

A: Gas converter.

Parrot: Who is it?

A: Gas converter.

……

There is a man lying in front of his master's house. The master wondered, who is this?

Inside the door: gas converter

9. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down and smelled it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. It was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ~

10. A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down and made a wish, then threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "How clever!

10 jokes, 3 classics and 20 classic humorous jokes.

1, an IT manager walks into a ramen restaurant and asks: Do you need a client? The interface seems a little old. The boss is stupefied: the face is usually the buddy side, and the client side is needed when busy. The interface ... the interface must be fresh, but the ribs were yesterday.

If what you give me is the same as what you give to others, then I don't want it. Aunt in the canteen picked up the big spoon: "Do you want it or not? Do you want it? "

When I was a child, I always felt that someone was following me, so I got into the habit of turning around after a few steps. Ten years later, I became a tango teacher.

Xiaoming farted loudly in the elevator. Xiao Gang held his nose with one hand and pointed to the sign on the elevator with the other. Didn't you see that it said "handle with care"?

5. When I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling and often tangled. Should I get married when I grow up? It was not until I reached that age that I found out: I really think too much!

6. Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! You ruined me, I won't say anything! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "

7, what is maturity, your mother didn't rush you, you put on long pants! What is youth? Your mother urges you, but you still don't wear long pants!

8. I have a dream, that is to return to China with sunglasses and Lamborghini. After more than 20 years of hard work, I have done half of it, and I have sunglasses.

9. I heard that irregular rest is very harmful to my health, which scares me to stay up late every day and regularly.

10, the purpose of installing a mirror in the bathroom is to let you pee and look in the mirror.

1 1, as soon as I reviewed it, I found other people's heads, including printers, tape recorders and digital cameras. My head is a soymilk machine.

12, my wife suddenly got angry and scolded me for some reason. I coaxed her for a long time before she calmed down and asked, "Do you know where you are wrong now?" I said angrily, "What do you mean? Can't I be scolded by you if I'm right? "

13, every exam, class average, will be in my hand.

14, I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a special eye for girls. All the girls I chased married good people in the end without exception.

15, the boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. The girlfriend exclaimed, "It smells good!" The boy with a hard bag on his back said very gentlemanly, "If you like, we'll walk to the front of the restaurant again."

16. On the first day of school, the kindergarten director called the parents and told them whether your children had watched too many court plays. On the first day of roll call, the children directly replied, "I am a slave!" "

17, I dreamed that I was beaten by a group of people last night, woke up with fear, and then went back to sleep. I met that group of people and said to me, how dare you come back?

18, eating mala Tang, the boss said that his mala Tang is divided into five grades: slightly spicy, moderately spicy, spicy, unusually spicy, and the next day's buttocks hurt.

19, once there was a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it. If I could do it all over again ... I would choose Li Bai.

20. I called my boyfriend yesterday and suddenly got disconnected. After a while, the goods called me again. Before I could speak, he said, can you lose weight? How many times have you said this month? I smiled and touched the hang-up button!