63 classic funny quotations that make you laugh at internal injuries.

63 classic funny quotations that make you laugh at internal injuries.

1. People who like me are good people. People who don't like me are bad people. Nobody hates me.

I counted my fingers and found that I was missing in your life.

I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning.

Fart is the unyielding soul of the food you eat.

I used to be young and aggressive, but now my youth is gone, so I am so aggressive.

6. Say happily: I planted my boyfriend in the field in spring, but I forgot this crop in autumn.

7. There are no fat people in the world. There are many thin people, and there will be fat people!

8. I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.

9. I am most afraid of three things in my life, the first is fear of death, the second is fear of illness, and the third is fear of life and death.

10. Three points are destined for heaven, seven points depend on hard work, and ninety points are at the teacher's place.

1 1. Never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you will never know who is a fool.

12. Eating food is like a train. To sum up, shopping? Eating and shopping? Eating and shopping? Eat it.

13. I sing that song every time I see a couple. Happy break-up, wish you happiness? .

14. Women in the new era have been in the hall, climbed over the fence, hit mistresses and hooligans, but they just can't get out of the kitchen.

15. If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so, and don't always let others move around to help you tell me you're sorry ~ ~

16. heartless, can live a hundred years, have a clear conscience, not tired.

17. Every dormitory has one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores and one who sleeps very late.

18. Good friends don't need too many, just two. One is willing to lend you money, he asks you for a debt, and the other is willing to kill him ~

19. If anyone bullies me in the future, I will carve his name on the wood and light two white candles?

20. I can resist anything except money and beautiful women.

2 1. I think it's good to make a phone call, and what I said is valuable.

22. You talk to him about civilization, and he gives you barbarism; You reason with him, and he plays rascal with you.

23. Why can't I see the fluttering ribbon when I eat Dove and the big piece of beef when I eat Master Kong?

24. It's not that I don't want to be a lady, but that life has made me a bitch. . .

25. Teachers should be careful when their moral standards are not clear when they are particularly sleepy.

26. I always feel that a bed that is too neatly paved will mean a little peace in my old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

27. Being in a daze, well done, is called deep. If you can't do it well, you are likely to fall asleep. ......

28. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

29. There are always a few grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, then to blue, then to purple, then to green, and finally left.

I'm leaving.

30. Whoever loves you again in the future will get a slap in the face. If he doesn't fight back, then he really loves you.

3 1. The geography teacher asked: What are the four oceans? I replied: pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat.

32. Bed rest is the minimum respect for weekends.

33. If you don't remember me, I will give you melon seeds with big ears. Let you remember me forever.

34. As the saying goes, people are jealous of talents, and it is better to be stupid.

I really miss being a child. I can go shirtless like a man on a hot day!

36. Skipping class is a carnival for one person. Class is the loneliness of a group of people.

If I die, don't forget to install an air conditioner in my coffin.

38. I said to the mirror; Mirror, mirror, am I the most beautiful person in the world? The mirror is broken.

39. Have you seen Water Margin? The story of Tang Priest's master and apprentice being caught up with Liangshan by Jia Baoyu.

40. You are like a bitter gourd, dressed so cool and looking so shabby.

4 1. Don't feel that you are rare, but cherish what is rare. I love personality network.

42. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.

43. The tragedy of life lies in: I worked hard to have a sweet dream all night, but I woke up the next morning and couldn't remember it at all!

44. Look at a beautiful MM, but there is no way to strike up a conversation. Pick up a brick by the roadside and step forward. Classmate, did you drop this? ?

When I was a child, my dream was not to be a scientist. I fantasize that I am the master of a landlord's family, with fertile land and 1000 hectares of land. My ignorance all the time has nothing to do with leading a group of dog slaves to flirt with a good girl.

46. Two farmers brag: The chickens on our farm eat all tea leaves and lay all tea eggs? Yes, our farm gives chickens wallets to lay poached eggs. ?

47. Women have countless QQ numbers just to flirt with a man. Men often use a QQ number to fill in all kinds of women?

48. I accidentally read the so-called criteria for contemporary women to choose a spouse: With a car and a house, parents are dead. ? Depressed. So I wrote down the imaginary criteria for choosing a spouse: Family wealth exceeds 100 million, beauty ranks first in the world, virtuous, gentle and sexy, and father-in-law has terminal cancer.

49. An anonymous blog diary: One day, I got drunk and reached out and touched it? Cell phone and chastity are here, go to sleep!

50. A beautiful, pure, gentle, sexy and lovely virgin is like a ghost. Men are talking, but no one has seen it with their own eyes?

5 1 .. Remember the primary school teacher scolded me:? I want to beat you out! ? I wanted to laugh at that time, but I was afraid to laugh. Now, dare to laugh but can't laugh?