There are still 30 days before the end of the term, and I want to ask 30 joke gods for help.

(1) How can you not cry? An elephant died in the zoo, and the keeper cried beside him! The tourist said that he must like this elephant very much on weekdays, so he couldn't bear to die. An insider said: "No, according to the regulations, he is responsible for digging graves for elephants." (2) There is a pupil who often writes "umbrella" as "life" after returning home. One day when it rained, he didn't bring an umbrella, so he wrote a note for his classmates to take home and his mother to take an umbrella to school. The note said, "Mom, I'm going home. Please come quickly." (3) Exploring the Secret A man came to the fried dough sticks stall and said to his master, "Ah! Fried dough sticks, how much oil do you need a day! ? "The host said," How can fried fritters be fried without oil? " "What a waste, what a pity." "Unfortunately, you have to fry it. How to fry fritters without oil? " "I have been selling fritters for generations, and I never have to fry them." The host wanted to get his secret, so he invited him to dinner and treated him politely. After drinking enough Fan Fan, he whispered to his master, "My family has been selling fried dough sticks for generations, so there is no need to fry them." Hearing this, the master was dumbfounded. (4) What does Satan look like One day, a sly agent asked Afandi: "Afandi, I heard that you have contacts with Satan. What is Satan like? " "Instead of asking me what Satan looks like, I might as well go home at night and look in the mirror and you will know what Satan looks like." Two generations of love replied. (5) Are there any boats sailing here? A swimmer swam across the English Channel. When he landed, many cheering people surrounded him. A Jew came up and asked inexplicably, "Don't you know there are ships sailing here?" (6) If you really want to hit passers-by, after Avanti, Avanti called "idiot!" For no reason. Passers-by raised their fists angrily and forced Afandi: "Who is an idiot?" "If you really want to fight, then I'm an idiot ..." Two generations of love said while retreating. (7) Love depends on fate. One day, a chimpanzee accidentally stepped on a stool pulled by a gibbon. They had a one-night stand after the mother ape carefully wiped the stool off the chimpanzee. Afterwards, someone asked how they met. Chimpanzees sighed with emotion: "Ape dung (fate) is all ape dung! (8) The number of friends After two generations became Katz, people came to his house in an endless stream, which soon broke the threshold of his home. A friend met Afandi and asked him, "Ouch! Two generations of love, you have too many friends, and you can't count them every day. " "Yes, now I don't know how many friends I have. Want to know the specific number of my friends, wait until I get off Katz's throne! " Two generations of love replied. (9) Picking up a "felt hat" There was a rich man and his wife, both of whom were greedy for money and took everything home when they saw it. One evening, Lan Congmei saw a pile of cow dung outside the rich man's house. Knowing that their eyes were bad, she deliberately went in and said, "Boss, look which one left the felt hat outside the gate." The rich man ran to the door at once. As soon as he caught it, he found it was a pile of cow dung, but secretly complained: "This felt hat is too broken! ""The rich woman listened to his words at home and scolded, "Idiot, you can use it to pad the soles of your shoes when it is broken!" "Scold and ran out to catch. It's hard to tell when she catches cow dung. She quickly said, "The felt hat is really broken!" "When Lan Congmei and the long-term workers saw their scene, they kept smiling while covering their mouths (10). When the two generations of love were the king's advisers, the king asked the two generations of love, "Who do you think is appropriate to appoint as the county magistrate?" The two generations replied without hesitation: "X X is the most suitable! He will definitely think of the people when he goes. " "You're right, but xx is not your nemesis? Why did you mention him? " The king asked strangely. "Your majesty, there are two reasons. First, you only asked me who I appointed, not who I liked. Second, isn't it better to adjust X X to leave here and stay away from me? " Two generations of love replied. (1 1) On the way to the market, the two generations accidentally tripped over a stone. Two generations of love angrily shouted at the stone: "you damn thing!" " At this moment, an Yi Shanan came from the opposite side. Yishan thought that the two generations of love were scolding him, so he seized the two generations of love and took him to see Katz. After listening to their respective statements, Qazi fined two generations for half a silver dollar. The two generations refused to accept it, but he took out a silver dollar and gave it to Qazi, saying, "If you punish me for that sentence, you damn thing, I won't take the rest. Let me scold you again' you damn thing'! " (12) Why does the child: "Dad, what kind of cigarette is this?" Dad: "Remember, smoke is a chimney." Child: "Oh, I see! Why is dad's nose not called' chimney'? " (13) I want to drink chocolate. White mothers are breastfeeding, and black mothers are breastfeeding. The white child cried and said, Mom, I want to drink chocolate too! (14) liar A rural girl stood on the overpass and counted the floors of a tall building. A liar came up and said, "Say, how many floors did you count?" All right, five pieces on one floor. "The girl said," fifteenth floor. "After paying the money, a bystander said," How can you be so stupid! " The girl said, "He is so stupid! I cheated him. I counted eighteen floors! " (15) Crying is better than laughing. After watching the movie "Laughing is better than crying", Pingping said to his mother, "Mom, crying is better than laughing." "Why?" "Because when I cry, I can get anything." (16) Anecdote (2) There are three gentlemen, one with only left eye, one with only right eye, and one with deep myopia. Three people don't know each other. Go to a party together one day. Mr. Left Eye and Mr. Right Eye sit together, and Mr. Myopia sits. After taking a seat, Mr. Myopia asked the people nearby, "Who is Mr. Broad Face in the seat?" (17) honestly choose a football coach and say: Boys, today you will play against a world-famous team. I hope you will behave yourself, play honestly and strive for victory! You'd better make it clear that some players react, either play honestly or win! (18) When shooting Create chatting with the section chief, he pointed to the peach blossom blooming outside the window and said to the section chief, "Look at the beautiful scenery outside, why don't you take your wife and children out for a walk on Sunday? I'll arrange the car. " The section chief sighed and said, "What's there to see? To tell the truth, I am color blind. " Create said: "color blindness is good, congratulations, you can save money!" " "What do you mean?" "Save money on color TV." (19) Sister who died yesterday: "Was the play good last night?" Brother: "Nice." Elder sister: "I'll go again tonight." Brother: "Go to what? Yesterday has passed, didn't you kill them all? " The next day, he walked into the bar again and said, "Have a drink!" " The waiter said with concern, "Is your friend dead?" The man was furious: "Nonsense!" The waiter said, "Why is there only one cup?" The man said, "Because I quit drinking ..." (21) Father: "Kwong, what should I do if I meet a cobra?" A-guang: "Break its glass before you run away." (22) The instinctive answer is that most people will get drunk, some will have sex after drinking, and some will tell the truth ... After drinking some wine before going to bed, Mr. He felt dizzy, so he went to bed first and slept until midnight. Mr. He suddenly got up and put on his shirt and trousers. "What are you doing up in the middle of the night to get dressed? Where are you going? " Mrs. He asked inexplicably, "I want to go home soon." Mr. He instinctively replied (23) that when I was embarrassed about being the first-I didn't have a wedding night-I met an old friend from a foreign country-the creditor (24) countered that a woman scolded her husband in a restaurant. Finally, she screamed, "Of all the shameful people in the world, you are the meanest one!" " "At this time, all the people in the restaurant looked at them in surprise. Her husband noticed and immediately raised his voice and said, "This is a scolding, dear! What else did you say to him? " (25) One day in heaven, the king asked Afandi: "Afandi, will I go to heaven or go to hell after I die? Please give me a fair evaluation. " "Your Majesty, you will go to hell!" Avanti replied without thinking. The king's beard trembled with anger at this. Afandi saw it and quickly changed his tune and said, "Your Majesty, please calm down. Naturally, you should go to heaven, but I'm worried that those innocent people who died by the butcher's knife will fill up heaven and can't hold you. So you can go to hell. " (26) Then Suzhou people asked Shandong people, "I also heard that your radish in Shandong is very big and I really want to see it. "Shandong people said," You don't have to go to Shandong to see it, because our radish will grow in Suzhou next year. " (27) Questioning Squid Wittily Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid. Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat. The man said, well, let me question you. Squid said happily, cuff it! Then the man roasted the squid ... (28) Change the appearance. The wife of two generations is going to a party. She dressed up for a long time and asked Afandi, "Do you think those lecherous people will recognize me if I dress up like this?" "Of course I can recognize you." What should we do? "The wife asked awkwardly." Please wipe off the powder on your face, wipe off the lipstick on your mouth, put on an old dress and change your appearance so that the goat won't recognize you. "Two generations of love replied. (29) Why is sea water salty? Dad: "Do you know why the sea water is salty?" Son: "I know." Dad: "Tell me. "Son:" Because the actress aunt always loves to cry at the seaside. " (30) cushion the pillow with naan. Two generations of love came back from the city very late and went to a friend's house for the night. My friend didn't ask Afandi if he was hungry, so he arranged his bunk and went into the house to sleep. Hungry two generations couldn't sleep, so he knocked on his friend's door. "What's the matter, two generations of love? "The friend asked in the room." Please bring two naan. "Two generations of love said the middle of the night, what do you need two Nan? "the friend asked." Your pillow is too short to sleep. I want to keep it. "Two generations of love replied.